Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, June 10, 2019

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzIdxztE1jg

One of the best-kept secrets in America is that tariffs discourage imports; if we raise tariffs, imports go down. Another best-kept secret is that if imports go down, domestic jobs go up. These two secrets are so well-kept that not even Senate Republicans know. They think that the same amount of imports will keep flowing in, even with tariffs. They think tariffs will not make consumers want to buy American-made goods again.

Even better-kept is the secret that tariffs discourage certain things in the country that makes the goods. When threatened with tariffs if "irregular" immigration wasn't stopped their side of the border, Mexico suddenly stopped illegal immigration previously said to be unstoppable. This comes as such a revolutionary surprise, perhaps we should consider that threatening tariffs on the sun could stop global warming! Tariffs seem capable of doing things no one imagined, after all.

Another well-kept secret is that America's government has its need to follow rules. Long, long ago, we all knew that the government has to play by certain rules. But, somewhere during the Obama years, we seem to have forgotten. Impeaching a president doesn't remove him from office; the House impeaches, but the Senate has to hold a trial before a president can be removed. Clinton was impeached and he stayed in office. Apparently Nancy Pelosi's voters didn't know that. So, she explained it to them. With all the well-kept secrets in the country, one has to wonder: Why didn't "Nervous Nancy" Pelosi just try to impeach Trump, then act surprised that he stayed president? She might have gotten more votes that way. Such lying theatrics wouldn't have worked ten years ago, but times are changing!

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Symphony

Encore or Revival: America, September 17, 2018

Trump's sanctions about elections are about the election. Turn all eyes to Texas. The seat of Senator Ted Cruz should not be in jeopardy. Democrats have no reason to dump such large amounts of money into a Texas race where senators are trending Republican—unless they are either crazy or they happen to know about other plans that could affect the vote. They aren't campaigning against Cruz because they think he is weak, but because he is so powerful.

Without the additional sanctions on foreign interference, it would be much easier to meddle in your opponent's election by asking a foreign power to do the meddling. Americans know better than to meddle in American elections because they have nowhere to run. Off-shore meddlers are another story—at least they were until Trump ordered his sanctions.

This is a shot across the bow, not so much deterring foreign powers from meddling as much as making foreign powers—and any domestic cooperatives—aware that the White House is aware that there are attempts to meddle. Only a fool would think Trump's order is purely for the optics of pleasing his unusually loyal base, which cares more about jobs and walls than defusing accusations they have already decided are fraudulent. These sanctions from the White House could be what wins Cruz his second term. We'll see.

US Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley lives in a unit in the famed Waldorf Astoria. She originally had the $135k/month unit occupied by Susan Rice during the Obama years. Rice had ordered $52k worth of drapes and motors to close them, but the furnishings didn't arrive until Haley had insisted on moving to a less-than-half-the-price unit of the lavish Obama ambassador, at only $58k/month. New York is an expensive place for everyone, but Haley also rejected the set of drapes. Of course, in New York newswriting, Obama's bad decision must be blamed on Trump. It's all Trump's fault what Obama did.

Senator Feinstein should be impeached and Judge Kavanaugh should be approved Monday rather than Thursday. After a long and—according to Democrats—interesting career in the White House, an uncorroborated claim from a supposed victim of a so-called assault—much less severe than anything Clinton was praised for by his base—came to Feinstein in July. The accuser didn't mention anything in all the other years of Kavanaugh's career, nor did Feinstein mention the accusations in July or August. Everyone waited until the last possible minute.

If it is true that Democrats don't mention important facts until time is almost up, they should be expelled from Washington. Many voters in the #WalkAway movement seem to agree. But, this looks more like something made-up. By doing this at such a late hour, Democrats have implied that there is nothing more meaningful to discuss. Democrats are still angry that they can't read all the private memorandum that other people wrote to other people which Kavanaugh was the confidential delivery boy for. So, they pull an Anita Hill style accusation that looks fake in every time and manner they choose. The only credibility this accuser can gain at the bottom of this ninth inning would be for Feinstein to resign in disgrace for either trying to pull a fake "September surprise" or for exploiting a victim in doing so. Fat chance on a Democrat not exploiting the victims so desperately engineered into their voter base.

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Faux Report

Ted Cruz Arrested In Massive Sex Ring Scandal – He’s Secretly Been PIMPING!

pimp

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

Ted Cruz was arrested Thursday morning at his home in Washington after what police are calling a “massive” investigation that has spanned nearly a year.

According to reports, the FBI and local law enforcement have been investigating a huge sex ring in the D.C. area, and on Thursday they arrest nearly 200 people involved in the operation, from bookkeepers to prostitutes to their pimps.

One of the names of the arrested stands out more than others, as it appears Ted Cruz was arrested along with the rest of the lowlifes, allegedly for pimping girls for the last several years.

“Oh man, Daddy Cruz, Big Daddy Cruz he likes us to call ’em, ohh, he’s a good daddy to me and my girls,” said bottom bitch Diamond Glitter. “I been working for Mr. Daddy Cruz for about 10 monfs, and he just always been da best. He don’t hit me, nothing like that. I ax him for something, he usually give it. No other pimp treat me dis good before.”

According to Diamond, Cruz was bringing in an estimated $45,000 a month in his cut from the massive number of women he pimped, with a lot of politicians being clients.

“I aint’ allowed to talk about who my mouf been on, but it’s pretty damn near much all them politician guys in the White House,” said Diamond. “They pay a lot, tip big. Business been good as hell to me. This really damn sucks we all going to jail.”

Cruz was arrested and released on $100,000 bail. Neither he nor his lawyers could be reached for comment.

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Faux Report

6 States Vote To Make Masturbation Illegal In Ted Cruz-Backed Law; Is Your State One Of Them?

cruzmasturbate

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

You probably missed it on your ballot last November, but a bill to make masturbation illegal was listed on the voter cards for all 50 states, mixed in with other major bills including ones looking to defund certain parts of the education budget, as well as the legalization of marijuana.

Bill #69H8R was introduced in 6 states, to what lawmakers are saying was “probably a huge mistake.”

“We don’t think that many people really read their ballots, and arbitrarily chose yes and no on certain questions,” said Rep. Joe Miller (D-Vermont). “They were rushing to get to the choice for president. It happens every four years, really. Some stupid law gets pushed through with very little notice or fanfare. Unfortunately, this new law will cause some severe problems in several states.”

Vermont, Georgia, New Hampshire, Idaho, Mississippi, and Delaware all voted to outlaw masturbation, in a law that will take effect April 1st. The bill was backed by staunch anti-masturbator Ted Cruz.

Naturally, people in all states are extremely upset.

“I definitely didn’t vote to outlaw whacking off,” said Idaho resident Mike Simon. “I jerk it at least twice a day, sometimes more. Are you telling me that I’m a criminal now? How the hell am I going to release tension after a long day at work?”

Several question how the government and police plan to enforce this law, but Miller says that goes hand-in-hand with recent news about CIA leaks.

“The government is always watching. We will see you masturbate through your webcams, your TVs, your phones, and your microwaves,” said Miller. “No matter what room in your own home you try to jack it in, someone will see you.”

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Symphony

Cadence of Conflict: Asia, January 9, 2017

Taiwanese President Tsai Ing-Wen (蔡英文) is in Houston, TX. Joshua Wong (黃之鋒) and a few lawmakers from Hong Kong are in Taiwan. A new wave of smog is in Beijing. And, more threats from Beijing to Trump are in the headlines.

Wong was a Hong Kong Umbrella Movement leader and is now secretary-general of the Hong Kong center-left pro-democracy party, Demosisto. The lawmakers accompanying Wong in Taiwan are Edward Yiu (姚松炎), Nathan Law (羅冠聰), and Eddie Chu (朱凱迪).

Senator Cruz gave a few educational remarks on democracy to Beijing over the Communists’ requests that US lawmakers not meet with Tsai. Tsai is on her way to Central America, but her connection in Texas brought lots of opportunity to discuss the strong and strengthening relationship between Taiwan and the US.

Back in Hong Kong, Wong and Law, elected but disqualified by the courts as a legislator, are facing charges for connection with protests that stormed a political office in Hong Kong in 2014. So continues the generational disputes. Establishments do what they will and the people, especially younger generations more willing to take action, never seem to find a way to lodge their objections in a way that is both effective and agreed to by the establishment. Perhaps, the objection to the protest was not its manner or location, but its political objective: Hong Kong Independence.

Asian news in early 2017 is back to the usual: Which territories ought to comply with China’s policies regardless of their will; and the smoke in Beijing, both environmental and political. And, of course, America is managing to remain in Asian headlines and Chinese talking points, as well as China’s backyard ocean.

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Faux Report

Witnesses At RNC Say One of Trump’s Daughters Assaulted Heidi Cruz, Security Removed Both From Convention

CLEVELAND, Ohio – 

According to several rumors coming out of the RNC, one of Trump’s daughters was seen assaulting Ted Cruz’s wife, Heidi, during a break at the Republican National Convention, prompting security to remove them both from the floor.

According to mainstream media, security was asked to remove Heidi Cruz from the floor for her own safety after the crowd began booing and jeering her husband during his speech. Witnesses at the event, though, say that’s not the reason at all.

“It wasn’t just Heidi that was taken away, it was also one of the Trump girls as well,” said reporter Mike Kennedy. “I was too far away to hear what they were arguing about, but Ms. Trump was definitely angry, and she spit right in Heidi Cruz’s face. Cruz actually reached back and slapped her across the face, and Trump pushed her to the floor. It all happened in a matter of seconds before security swept them away.”

Ted Cruz has refused to honor his commitment to back Republican nominee Donald Trump, and many are saying that the spat between families is what may have caused the assault on the RNC floor.

“I was standing only a couple feet away, and it was vicious,” said a man who was there, but who wished to remain anonymous. “Trump had definitely been drinking. To be honest, I don’t know which daughter it was. His entire family looks the same. Sort of orange with ugly hair. It could have been Donald in drag for all I know. Anyway, Trump scolded Heidi Cruz for not helping to support Donald Trump as he received, officially, the nomination, and Heidi yelled back. It was intense. I only wish I had gotten video.”

Mainstream news outlets have yet to pick up on the story, and most are assuming Trump and Cruz are working to have it covered up, as it negatively effects both of their families. Neither Donald Trump or Ted Cruz could be reached for comment.

 

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Faux Report

‘National Enquirer’ Investigation Into Ted Cruz Turns Up Donald Trump Affair Secrets

trump

ATLANTA, Georgia – 

National Enquirer has been making serious news the last few weeks, after the magazine published information saying that they were investigation presidential candidate Ted Cruz for having an affair – with five different women.

Now, the magazine is saying that in their investigation, they’ve also turned up information about another affair – one perpetrated by another republican candidate, Donald Trump. The magazine is currently not revealing their sources, but say they “stand by” the information as “100% accurate.”

“We are treating the identities of Trump’s mistresses with the utmost respect and care, and are only referring to them under pseudonyms,” said Enquirer publisher Mark Hayes. “In our newly published article, we receive quotes from several women who claim Donald has had secret affairs with them, including ‘Shmosie O’Shmonell’ and ‘Shmegan Shmelley.’ There is also at least one man, who we are referring to only as ‘Shmis Shmisty.'”

According to the Donald Trump campaign, the candidate is completely refuting all information that he has ever had an affair.

“I’ve been married countless times, and they’ve all failed horribly,” said Trump. “I can honestly say, though, that not a single divorce was on a count of infidelity. If there’s one thing that I can be counted on for, it’s staying faithful in my marriages. These claims are extremely and utterly false.”

There have been rumors that the original article, claiming that Ted Cruz had at least 5 mistresses, was fabricated by Donald Trump himself, as he has close ties to the magazine. Representatives for the Enquirer will not reveal the source of either article, but do say that it’s now “fairly obvious” that they have no allegiance to either candidate.

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Faux Report

Ted Cruz Admits He Was Zodiac Killer

Early Voter Poll Shows There's 'No Way In Hell' Ted Cruz Would Get Elected President

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

What started as an internet meme and joke has become a startling reality, as Senator Ted Cruz, presidential hopeful, admitted today that he was, in fact, the Zodiac Killer.

“It was me who killed all those people in California in the late 60s and early 70s,” said Cruz to a room full of shocked reporters. “Yes, I know that I wasn’t actually born until 1970…or was I?”

Cryptic information not withstanding, the internet has run with the admission, and several conspiracy theory websites are in an uproar over the information.

“Obviously what happened is that Ted Cruz wins the election this year, and in his rise to power, he amassed a small fortune. He then used his powers and money to direct government agencies to build him a time machine that he then uses to go back and become the Zodiac Killer,” said conspiracy theorist Airi Shay. “Clearly it’s the only possible explanation. How else could a person who wasn’t even born kill all those people?”

Cruz, so far, has denied any allegations that he is a time traveler.

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Faux Report

Newly Published Documents Reveal Ted Cruz Is Actually Undocumented Alien From Cuba

Early Voter Poll Shows There's 'No Way In Hell' Ted Cruz Would Get Elected President

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

Recently discovered documents that were leaked to the press allegedly show that senator Ted Cruz, whose full name is Rafael Edward Cruz, was not born in Canada to American parents, as Cruz has led people to believe. According to birth certificates and hospital paperwork that was uncovered, Cruz is actually a Cuban immigrant who was born in Havana.

“Ted Cruz has always maintained that he was American. He says he was born to American parents who were working in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, and that he was a dual-citizen Canadian and American,” said political pundit Joe Goldsmith. “As recent documents have disclosed, though, Rafael ‘Ted’ Cruz was born in Havana, Cuba to a woman who was a prostitute.”

According to hospital records, Cruz’s mother, whose name was not known, died during childbirth, and the baby was adopted by the Cruz family in 1970. The records indicate that Cruz’s mother was a Cuban woman who barely spoke any English. His father was listed as one out of 8 possible people, all Cuban construction workers who apparently participated in a gang-bang.

Ted Cruz could not be reached for comment.

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Faux Report

Newly Published Documents Reveal Ted Cruz Is Actually Undocumented Alien From Cuba

Early Voter Poll Shows There's 'No Way In Hell' Ted Cruz Would Get Elected President

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

Recently discovered documents that were leaked to the press allegedly show that senator Ted Cruz, whose full name is Rafael Edward Cruz, was not born in Canada to American parents, as Cruz has led people to believe. According to birth certificates and hospital paperwork that was uncovered, Cruz is actually a Cuban immigrant who was born in Havana.

“Ted Cruz has always maintained that he was American. He says he was born to American parents who were working in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, and that he was a dual-citizen Canadian and American,” said political pundit Joe Goldsmith. “As recent documents have disclosed, though, Rafael ‘Ted’ Cruz was born in Havana, Cuba to a woman who was a prostitute.”

According to hospital records, Cruz’s mother, whose name was not known, died during childbirth, and the baby was adopted by the Cruz family in 1970. The records indicate that Cruz’s mother was a Cuban woman who barely spoke any English. His father was listed as one out of 8 possible people, all Cuban construction workers who apparently participated in a gang-bang.

Ted Cruz could not be reached for comment.

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Election

Opine: 2016 New Hampshire Debate

I normally don’t write about individual debates. Some things happened in New Hapmshire, however, which I thought were prophetic, other things telling.

When the candidates came out, Carson and Trump had difficulty hearing the media over the shouts of the crowd, even though the media kept calling them. Even Kasich had trouble. This strange leapfrog of candidates back and forth left Carson and Trump standing together while the other candidates passed by.

I thought many things in the scene seemed prophetic.

I have missed stage instructions myself. So, I understand exactly how this can happen, even with good planning.

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Faux Report

Fistfight Occurs Between Ted Cruz and Jeb Bush on Campaign Trail

tedjeb

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

Things are getting heated on the campaign trail, as even politicians of the same party are having words. Sources inside the Republican parrty say that both Bush and Cruz were careful to keep out of the eyes of the press during a recent fight, and the whole affair was considered “off the record.”

An intern working closely with Bush says, “Cruz broke the gentlemen’s code and hit Bush in the face. He’s going to need to wear extra foundation. The unwritten code between candidates is below the belt is fine, but don’t throw any punches that could mar a fellow’s face.”

Sources close to Cruz say the fight started because Cruz accused Jeb Bush of being a sore loser. In the polls, Bush is coming in a distant third. “The 2000, election where Al Gore got the popular vote – well, at first Jeb Bush did not want to rig the election to help George W. He wanted to be president. Daddy Bush told him that it was Georgie’s turn now, and Jeb would get to be president after. Jeb went along with it, but now he’s not getting what he was promised. So he’s being a poor sport.”

Cruz appears to be taking a more macho approach to his campaign in general. After the fistfight with Bush, Cruz challenged Trump to a Mano-a-Mano debate anytime between now and he Iowa caucus. Among candidates in the Republican party, this is equivalent to posturing like an aggressive ape and growling.

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, January 19, 2016

The democratic awakening from Taiwan won’t stop with China. Though the ramifications may stay more in the government, they will reach America. The Pentagon and White House, in their own ongoing feuds, will be forced to recognize their miscalculations. The people are fed up. And if 20 million Taiwanese aren’t afraid of China’s 2,000 missiles and are willing to tear down annoying establishments anyway, then 300 million Americans can’t be contained by any means—by the press or the barrel of a gun.

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Symphony

Tempo: April 10, 2015

California sheriff's deputies beat a horse thief who is tazed and down—55 times. Rand Paul answered his last question, then left; the Left calls that "walking out"; but he would never walk out on talks with Iran. Switzerland issues the first ever 10 year bonds yielding a negative interest rate, paying back less than they were sold for. Marco Rubio issues a montage video, non-specific as a Ted Kennedy speech, with music one might expect in a Transformers movie. Krauthammer also compared Rubio to Kennedy, in a good way. Hillary Clinton plans to run, as does Jeb. Eric Bolling, in for Bill-O, doesn't like political dynasties. Microsoft makes Windows 10, the 9th edition of Windows, available to more smartphones. NRA audiences don't like the press either. Bonus articles: April 9, 1865. The Surrender at Appomattox (Dialog of Civil War surrender) | 7 Reasons Even Really Smart People Can Be Fooled by Liars

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