Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, March 9, 2020

Though he still would have lost, Sanders would have been the best candidate against Trump because he represents everything Trump is not. But, either the DNC establishment or the country doesn't side with Sanders's socialist values. In all likelihood, the DNC move away from Bernie is related to its move away from other hardline socialists in their ranks. In other words, the battle of ideologies might already be over.

The 2020 election is now in full swing. Even the Wuhan 2019-nCoV coronavirus demands a response to please November. Perhaps that's why Democrats defended Joe Biden so avidly during the impeachment process. Perhaps they always planned to have him as their front runner and nominee. Perhaps they know that socialism loses elections, even more since capitalism has been given an extra try over the last three years.

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, March 2, 2020

https://youtu.be/V5ijvLwGlCM

Tom Steyer doesn’t seem to know which party he’s running for. Recommending private sector solutions to the voter base that wanted Sanders v Trump in 2016 is, in a word, nutty. But, he shares one thing in common with Bloomberg: they think Trump’s deep pockets bought him the election, so they could copy-cat the same victory. But, Trump’s deep pockets didn’t buy him the election; Trump earned it through a life in the office rather than a private palace and over a decade of experience watching the public respond to him on camera.

While the Democratic party is being commandeered by radicals, the base is shifting from “help us -ists” to “socialists”. Sanders would have probably won the 2016 nomination were it not for the Democratic party’s non-democratic system of superdelegates throwing their minority support to Hillary. Unlike the professional campaign organizers (including Biden), and unlike the lazy rich guys (including Biden), Sanders is the real deal. He’s in it because he believes in it. And, his base respects him for the same two reasons Trump’s base respects him: hard work and personal connection to the crowd. To boot, it’s about ideology.

Part of the schism forming between the evermore so apparent “two Americas” is about how we view money. Some view money as having an ethereal source—once a country or company is “rich”, money just grows on trees or something. Others view money as having to be generated from a combination of work and savvy, no matter how rich a country or company gets. The “ethereals” believe the economy grows because government injects money from the imaginary hole in space through which money pours without end, and this is good because rich companies are purportedly rich because they have access to a similar money hole in space. The “savvyists” believe government can only give what government already took away and that companies can only make what they continue to think and work for.

The test of the 2020 election is a battle of ideals. Whichever voter base sees the universe correctly will have the strength to muster an election victory. So, you see, 2020 is about clear vision.

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, April 8, 2019

America is on the quiet this week. It's the deep calm before the storm. People are tired. Unsatisfied opponents of Conservatism are getting wary from victory deferred after victory deferred. Now, they are looking to another failed candidate to put their hope in, Sanders.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. The invented Mueller Russianewsgategate scandal scandal is coming to its grand fizzle-and-pop of an ending. The Left is self-destructing with its old playbook tactic. When melodrama isn't enough to get what they want, they respond with more melodrama.

Kirstjen Nielsen is finally gone. Since the "New York Times Essay", the public grew suspicious of insiders trying to sabotage the Trump administration. In the Pacific Daily Times Symphony list of suspects, she was right there at the top with John Kelly. (See Encore articles from September 10, November 19, and December 10 of 2018.) Firing both discretely and far apart was among the best ways to handle saboteurs. Were they? Only Trump knows for sure, and that's the way it should stay.

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, March 11, 2019

The nation is polarizing. Conservatives are becoming more conservative; Liberals are becoming more liberal. The veil of mediocrity has been lifted and people are being forced to fly their true colors.

Democratic Congresswoman Omar from Minnesota called out Obama for being a "pretty face" more "polished" than Trump, while denouncing Obama's policies. Freshman Congresswoman Cortez and veteran Senator Sanders decried capitalism while unemployment is at a record low and jobs are returning to America—jobs which Obama said would not come back. That only adds to the lists of failed Obama promises. Yet, Democrats still think it was the Obama ideological opposition that failed, not their own—except for Omar who thinks everyone failed, kind of.

It's one thing to not know when one lost, it's another thing to not know when one will lose again. What better place to discuss a campaign for the anti-enterprise 2020 ticket than in the Caribbean!

Socialist cities across America are in a battle against rural American sheriffs and prosecutors.

Don't attack people with your posts on social media—but if you're CNN, that's common practice, though still defamation—at least according to the lawyer for the Covington High School student who was treated by CNN and the Washington Post the way Facebook doesn't want you to treat real bad guys who actually did something wrong—maybe. It all depends on opinion, but there is one solution: utilities.

Facebook and Google are in the fast lane on the highway to "Utilityhood". Irritating as it is, a free market can't force Facebook to cooperate with Vine when there is neither profit nor loss in our "free-and-open" Internet. By allowing Facebook to make market decisions in its own interests, it will be easier to sway public opinion toward government crushing the Facebook and Google empires by making them public utilities.

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, March 11, 2019

The nation is polarizing. Conservatives are becoming more conservative; Liberals are becoming more liberal. The veil of mediocrity has been lifted and people are being forced to fly their true colors.

Democratic Congresswoman Omar from Minnesota called out Obama for being a "pretty face" more "polished" than Trump, while denouncing Obama's policies. Freshman Congresswoman Cortez and veteran Senator Sanders decried capitalism while unemployment is at a record low and jobs are returning to America—jobs which Obama said would not come back. That only adds to the lists of failed Obama promises. Yet, Democrats still think it was the Obama ideological opposition that failed, not their own—except for Omar who thinks everyone failed, kind of.

It's one thing to not know when one lost, it's another thing to not know when one will lose again. What better place to discuss a campaign for the anti-enterprise 2020 ticket than in the Caribbean!

Socialist cities across America are in a battle against rural American sheriffs and prosecutors.

Don't attack people with your posts on social media—but if you're CNN, that's common practice, though still defamation—at least according to the lawyer for the Covington High School student who was treated by CNN and the Washington Post the way Facebook doesn't want you to treat real bad guys who actually did something wrong—maybe. It all depends on opinion, but there is one solution: utilities.

Facebook and Google are in the fast lane on the highway to "Utilityhood". Irritating as it is, a free market can't force Facebook to cooperate with Vine when there is neither profit nor loss in our "free-and-open" Internet. By allowing Facebook to make market decisions in its own interests, it will be easier to sway public opinion toward government crushing the Facebook and Google empires by making them public utilities.

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Faux Report

Bernie Sanders Says He Will Completely Forgive Student Loans If Elected

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

Americans who are under the financial strain of repaying student loan debt may soon be off the hook for their education costs. Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders says that if elected, he will sign a new federal bill releasing any student who has accrued outstanding debt because of the high interest rates and outrageous balances caused by college loans.

“Any student, past or present, who has taken loans from the federal government within the last 10 years to pay for higher education, would no longer be required to pay back those loans,” said Bernie Sanders. “This forgiveness would also be extended to any student currently enrolled in college, who may need financial assistance for the next several years as they finish their degrees.”

The idea of student loan forgiveness has been in the news for several years now, as students are forced year-after-year to leave school due to crippling costs of a higher education in the US. With most students not able to afford any facet of college without loans, the government has given out nearly $1 trillion dollars to those seeking a form of higher education. Although certain costs of school are generally offset by private loans, grants, and scholarships, almost every student currently in a 2 or 4-year program has some existing loans with the US government.

“Education is the single most important thing in my mind when it comes to furthering this great nation,” said Sanders. “I can think of no better way to help the young people, this next generation of thinkers and doers, than by helping them to stand on their feet more firmly, and to give them some hope that they can and will receive their degrees, and they can work towards a future for themselves and their families, and not just a future of paying back debt.”

Even while the government has decided to forgive loans from the public sector, private held companies such as Sallie Mae, the leading lender for higher education, still has sky-high interest rates and non-budging repayment schedules. With close to $1 billion in net income every year,  Sallie Mae has stated that they are not interested in following suit with the governments plan for loan forgiveness.

“We are a private company, and private lenders. We have no interest in not pursuing every possible avenue to squeeze every penny we can out of our borrowers,” said Carla Edwarton, CEO of Sallie Mae. “Education is important to us, but paying back your loans are what we care about. We aren’t loan sharks, we aren’t going to break your kneecaps if you don’t pay, as much as we would like to…[But] you can bet we love making all that sweet, sweet high-interest rate cash.”

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Faux Report

Bernie Sanders Announced Plans To Drop From Race After Loss In New York

sanders

NEW YORK CITY, New York – 

Bernie Sanders has announced that he plans to drop from the presidential race after a loss in New York state earlier this week. The news comes as a massive shock to his followers and fans, as the Senator has said that he would “take this fight” to the end.

“I know that we had talked about bringing this fight to the ring, going all rounds, and hopefully coming out on top,” said Sanders on Thursday morning. “The problem is, we are not going to come out on top. This country is not ready for a president of my caliber, and it’s clear the media bias towards Hillary’s campaign is getting the better of us.”

Sanders says that he hopes that his voters will choose wisely when it comes to their voting in the general election.

“When it comes down to the elections later this year, it’s obvious that it will be Clinton and Trump,” said Sanders. “Although neither of these options is good, there is definitely one that is better than the other. Damned if I can tell you which one to vote for though.”

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Faux Report

Bill Clinton Hospitalized After Being Attacked By Bernie Sanders Supporters

empire-news-bill-clinton-hits-talk-show-circuit-to-promote-new-white-house-themed-erotica-novel

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

Former president Bill Clinton was hospitalized today after being attacked on the street by protestors who were rallying in support of Bernie Sanders. According to police, the attack was provoked by comments that Clinton made recently claiming that Sanders supporters wanted to shoot people on Wall Street.

“Former president Bill Clinton was airlifted to a local hospital after being beaten down by a group of Bernie Sanders supporters,” said police chief Walter Richards. “According to bystanders, the group were enraged by comments Clinton made about their tendency to want Wall Street members to be shot and killed.”

Ricky Carson, a Sanders supporter who was arrested in the assault, is facing 20 years in prison for the attack on a former President, but says he would do it all over again if he had to.

“Bernie Sanders is a man of the people, and those people are rallying behind him, in support. I am one of those people. We don’t want anyone dead, and I swear to God, I will beat the ever living shit out of anyone who disagrees with that, or with Bernie,” said Carson.

Police arrested a total of 9 assailants in the attack, and are still seeking 3 more who may have been involved. Ironically, Clinton had allowed his security team the day off so that his wife, Hillary Clinton, could have more security during her time in New York.

Doctors say that Clinton may suffer mild brain damage, but that it’s doubtful anyone would notice.

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Faux Report

Presidential Race Starts To Get Bloody After Sanders Challenges Opponents

bloody

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

In an attempt to secure the sick and desperate demographic, Bernie Sanders donated blood plasma to help those afflicted with problems ranging from Kawasaki disease to hemophilia. He called for other candidates to take a break from campaigning and do the same.

Plasma donation is more time-consuming than giving blood, in that the blood is drawn from one arm and channeled through an automated machine that collects plasma and returns the red blood cells. The screening process is also more difficult, baring donors from having tattoos or piercings.

Hilary Clinton tried, in an attempt to follow Sanders’ lead, to give plasma but was not able to make a donation due to the small tattoo on her buttocks that says “Bill.” She reportedly told the nurse, “I was going to say I never regretted getting that tattoo more, but that’s untrue. There was another time I regretted it more…”

Trump’s campaign managers say he will not be donating plasma, as Trump cannot be sure his donation wouldn’t be given to affluent white males or attractive women.

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Faux Report

Bird That Landed On Sanders’ Podium Left Feces All Over It; Trump Calls Event ‘Symbolism’

sandersbird

PORTLAND, Oregon – 

Bernie Sanders says that there was some great symbolism in the bird that landed on his podium during a speech the other evening, causing the crowd to go into a thunderous applause.

“Yeah, that symbolism is that he’s shit, and he’s going to shit all over everything,” said Donald Trump, after hearing of the event. “You can bet that’s true. I’ll make America great again, and no birds will be getting anywhere near my great country, except for the baldest of eagles.”

The bird, which flew down as Sanders was talking, did indeed leave a giant mess all over the podium, almost splashing Sanders in the process. The senator hid it well during the speech, but later, a staffer confirmed that it was a massive clean-up.

“You don’t even realize it, but it’s obviously the tiny birds that make the biggest messes,” said lowly Sanders staffer Mike Clarke. “I had to go out and scrub down the podium. I had to carefully get rid of the paper signs we had hanging. Then I had to take Mr. Sanders’ tie to the dry cleaners. It really got all over. I have no idea how the cameras didn’t pick it up. I think it must have been the crazy applause by the crowd that scared the literal shit out of that bird.”

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Faux Report

SHOCKING! Hillary Clinton Having Secret Affair With Bernie Sanders

sandersclinton

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

In what seems like a story straight out of the mind of a political satirist, Senators Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton are reportedly engaged in a “very torrid love affair,” according to insiders.

In emails possibly more damaging to Clinton than Bengazi, a series of love letters, sexual fantasies, and nude selfies were leaked to the internet on Tuesday morning, reportedly exchanged between Clinton and Sanders. Although the two have become bitter rivals on the campaign trail, the emails show that most of what happens on stage and on TV during the race is mostly for show.

“I’m so glad to feel your ‘bern,'” said one email sent by Clinton to Sanders, along with a nude picture taken in a full-length mirror. “Bill has been looking past me for months. I needed someone to come along like you who can fulfill all my real needs. Can’t wait to see you out there, baby.”

There were multiple responses from Sanders as well, most of them filled with too many sexual expletives for printing.

Both candidates have denied any wrongdoing, and say that there is decidedly no “affair” happening between them. The emails were reportedly leaked by a Sanders staffer who used a laptop with the account left open by Sanders himself.

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Faux Report

Donald Trump Tweets Nude Pic To Prove He’s Well Hung

trumptweet

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

The media has been in a frenzy the last week after Donald Trump mentioned that there were “no problems” with the size of his penis during the recent Republican debates. Although most people were in shock that such crude and asinine comments were made during a presidential race, a huge chunk of the internet started asking for Trump to prove it, using the social media hashtag #TrumpShowUsYourPenis.

The Donald, not one to back down from a challenge, accepted the outcries of the young people of social media, and today he tweeted a fully nude selfie showing how big he really is.

“You asked for it America, and here it is,” said Trump’s tweet. “I wasn’t lying about the size of my penis, and I’m not lying about making this country great again. #dickpic.” Also included was a link to the image, which is obviously NSFW.

The tweet went viral immediately, as did the picture attached. Most people were in shock when they saw how big he actually was, and still others say that they’re actually going to vote for him now.

“Before this picture and tweet, I thought he was a buffoon,” said Joelle Clarke of Lansing, Michigan. “Now that he actually had the balls – literally – to tweet a picture of his package, I believe that he has the balls to get things done in the White House, too.”

Senator Bernie Sanders, when asked about the picture, said he “hadn’t seen it,” and “had no interest in doing so.” Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton said that she had set it as her cell phone’s wallpaper, and was currently discussing with her campaign manager whether it would be a good idea to tweet a picture of her own big, ugly penis.

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Faux Report

South Carolina Man Burns Himself Alive After Trump Victory In Primaries

bodyburned

COLUMBIA, South Carolina –

Mark Jacobs, 27, was found dead in the front yard of his home yesterday, after police say he burned himself alive over Donald Trump’s win in the primaries.

According to a post left on Jacobs’ Facebook page Saturday afternoon, he was “extremely distraught” over the fact that Trump was leading in the elections, and that he “didn’t want to live on this planet anymore.”

“If I have to live in a world where Donald Trump is not only winning elections, but also has an extremely good shot of becoming our next president, I don’t even want to be alive,” said the Facebook post. “It’s absurd and insane that anyone with a rational, thinking brain would vote for him, and it’s time I sacrifice myself to show the world how horrible of a decision voting in Trump would be.”

According to police, Jacobs covered himself in Bernie Sanders bumper stickers and flyers, dumped a gallon of gasoline over himself, and lit a match.

“The fire was super intense,” said Mary Lambert, a neighbor. “I started smelling something burning, and then I saw the flames through my living room window. I ran outside, and I saw poor Mark all ablaze. It’s sad that he had to die to show the world how horrible Trump really is. I guess, though, that no one is ‘feeling the Bern’ like Mark.”

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Faux Report

Donald Trump Plans To Reinstate Trump University, Offer Free Tuition To All Applicants

trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

Donald Trump has made a shocking announcement this morning, stating that he plans to reinstate his extreme failure, Trump University, and – even more surprisingly – plans to give all applicants free admission.

“This country has failed in many ways, and education is one of the biggest failures of them all,” said Trump. “My idiot competitors think that they can offer free healthcare, free everything without it costing taxpayers. Top of that iceberg is free college tuition. They can’t give that. It’s stupid to say they can. They’re stupid. They can’t promise that, but I can.”

Trump say that his new college, which differs from his old University in that it will actually be accredited and useful, will allow any and all students who apply to receive free tuition. He can accomplish this because he is filthy rich, and will funnel money from his other businesses to pay for the school’s needs.

“Bernie Sanders wants to give everyone a free education, but has he outlined a plan to do so? Not in the slightest,” said Trump. “My schools will be free, provide a good education, and be totally and completely free from tax increases.”

Trumps poll numbers soared on the announcement.

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