Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, March 12, 2018

Scott Walker is self-destructing and may not win a third term. It began in his bid for the presidency when his campaign imploded. Initially, he over-reached. He was too much good for Wisconsin too fast and he wasn't prepared to take on the wolves. Given the sudden spotlight, he aimed for the presidency. Now, he's talking like George HW Bush when he reneged on his "read my lips, no new taxes" speech, then said he needed to raise taxes to get along with Democrats toward the end of his first—and hence final—term. If Walker doesn't lose, then there either aren't any good Republican or Democratic candidates in Wisconsin or history has decided to stop delivering justice upon those who don't learn from it.

SpaceX is proving the benefits of both public funding and privatization. Surely both Liberals and Conservatives will want the claim. The US government paved the way for space exploration, but Elon Musk made the stage-one booster return to the landing pad. The world has not seen a breakthrough of this magnitude since Lincoln regulated the first transcontinental railroad through the government while it was built by competing private companies.

Californian idealists, whether right or wrong, are distracted. If they truly believe in their ideals to stand against the Federal government, they will need to stop ballyhooing sanctuary city talking points and repeal their anti-gun laws. Right now, California's best friend is not social media, but the Second Amendment, specifically the part about a State-regulated militia. Many claim that the National Guard is the militia, but that idea has not been fully tested and vetted and it also has many categorical questions. Calling the national guard to stand against the US military might not work, though it's a good guess the idea has been tossed around at least one conference room in the bowls of California's state capitol. We'll just have to wait and see.

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, March 5, 2018

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEEUB-Kx-hw

Everything happening in Washington news right now means absolutely nothing.

Gun legislation means nothing—bills will get passed, but the public hasn't heard about those bills yet. There just hasn't been enough time to draft and debate them.

Security clearances get adjusted all the time. Politicians meet and talk all the time—a president who has actual negotiation experience, however, might seem a little surprising to people who don't understand Trump. But, none of it is news and none of it will go anywhere. It's all one big, giant distraction for what is actually developing, which we should see in the coming weeks and months.

The only thing that happened of significance was the US Senate's unanimous passage of the "Taiwan Travel Act", which would basically allow Trump to visit Taiwan and vice versa, as well as many other officials, and, of course, irritate the Chinese. Unanimous passage of a Senate bill? Why didn't that make headlines from a press obsessed with "bipartisan cooperation"?

It didn't make headlines because everything happening, this week anyway, is just a distraction from what's really going on, whatever "else" that may be, in addition to Asia.

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Faux Report

BREAKING: Donald Trump Facing Civil Charges In Decades-Old Sexual Harassment Claim

court

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

Donald Trump will be heading to civil court next month over a claim of sexual harassment and abuse charges that were filed by a former employee.

Margot Lambert, 49, alleges that when she was an intern working for the Trump Corporation, Donald Trump made repeated sexual advances towards her, and even groped her during a private meeting. She was later fired after, she claims, refusing to fellate Trump in his office.

“At the request of my attorney, I am not able to say much about the case, except to say that President Trump, then just ‘Donnie,’ as he likes to be called, tried to get me to place his orange, flacid penis in my mouth,” said Lambert. “When I refused, I was later relieved of my duties as his intern. I believe that the two situations are related.”

Although the statute of limitations has run out for any sort of criminal case, Lambert is still free to go after Trump in civil court. Her law team says they are seeking damages in the amount of $6.5 million for mental anguish and recurring nightmares.

“Ms. Lambert sought counselling for many years after the sexual assault, and had finally learned to put the incident behind her,” said Lambert’s lawyer, Richard Kimball. “When Trump became President, Ms. Lambert began having PTSD of her multiple sexual encounters with Trump. We firmly believe we will have no problem in regards to winning this case.”

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Faux Report

President Trump Signs Order Placing Ban on AR-15 Rifles

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

Caving to pressure from teachers’ groups and anti-gun advocates, President Trump signed an immediate order banning the sale, trade, or possession of AR-15 rifles. The ban is effective immediately, with owners required to turn their firearms over to local law enforcement.

“At this time, AR-15 owners are asked to turn in their rifles to either a local police station or at a local FBI affiliate office,” said a White House representative. “The weapons will be taken and in exchange, the owner will be provided a $50 voucher to a local restaurant, generously donated by chains such as Applebee’s and Carl’s Jr.’s.”

Despite the extreme backlash that was expected by the Trump administration, most gun owners have been completely understanding and very passive about the ordeal since it was announced early this morning.

“Frankly, I don’t really need to own an AR-15, I just wanted to have it,” said gun owner Chris Hopkins in Maine. “It’s not a big deal. I wouldn’t mind a gift certificate for a dinner, anyway. Come to think of it, I am pretty hungry.”

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Faux Report

President Trump Backtracks On ‘Arming Teachers’ Idea; Claims He Forgot There Were Black Teachers

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

President Trump has gone back on his statements about arming teachers throughout the United States, claiming that he now considers it a “bad idea.”

“When I originally talked about arming the teachers of this country, with plans of having them trained and organized in order to better protect our children, it didn’t occur to me that we also have, well, you know…Blacks teaching our kids,” said Trump. “Obviously, we cannot arm more black people. They are half the reason we have gun violence in the first place.”

Trump also went on to state that no one had told him that there are, in some instances, teachers of a Mexican descent, as well as Muslim school teachers.

“The idea of arming these people, that’s something I cannot deal with,” said Trump. “There definitely is an answer we need to find for the protection of our students, of our schools, but arming minorities isn’t the way.”

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Symphony

Cadence of Conflict: Asia, February 26, 2018

It's hitting the fan. China is homing-up and the US is "posseing" up. CFIUS is expanding its scope and China just required Apple to send its iCloud encryption keys to servers on the mainland. Both moves are more about caution than provocation. The US is stepping up patrols to enforce the trade block on North Korea. China just started the process of amending its Constitution to remove terms limits on its President.

The change to China's Constitution is often mis-portrayed. It affects both the President and Vice President. It does not install a President for life, but simply allows it. More importantly, the Constitution is being updated to include the "Xi Thought", mainly that all ethic groups of China are equal and that helping the entire world is part of China's responsibility.

Many in the West will jump to presume Xi is making a grab for power. While it does increase his power, the more accurate interpretation is that Xi's plans go for the long term, specifically after Trump's term. Without this change, Xi would leave office by 2023. China is thinking in terms of long-term, global strategy. That's hardly a "grab", but more of a "waltz".

This is a significant change. Both the US and China clearly mean business. With a shift toward the long-term, and with China publishing its view that the whole world is part of its responsibility, we are in a different political atmosphere than in years past.

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, February 12, 2018

The budget deal in Congress celebrates two myths, one from time travel budgeting, the other from silence. When the "experts" project a deficit based on the current spending plan, 1. none of the money has been spent yet and 2. none of the spending tax money has come in yet. They aren't only counting chickens before they hatch, they already have them buttered on the Christmas dinner table.

The spending projection assumes the previous year's tax income. If tax rates drop, so does the projected income drop, proportionately. There is some "trickle down" account for the assumption that consumers may spend more and employers hire more since they have the funds not taxed, but they don't consider synergy. They don't use AI simulations to project the slew of companies who haven't announced—but will anyway do—investment within the market. New companies will be capable of coming into being which weren't able to without the new financial ecosystem. Those aren't accounted for because they can't be predicted. The forecast we have is based not on synergistic outcomes—AKA reality—but on comparing last years results against this year's new methods—AKA time travel.

The second myth comes from silence, namely renegotiating trade agreements. Adjustments making the US market part of a two-way street will also bring new revenue sources—rather than a one-way street that screws the US economy into the ground. These are part of separate agreements already promised, already underway, but largely unfinished and unreported. Budget forecast about those factors are simply silent.

The budget forecast isn't any accurate prediction of the future, but a kind of comparison for number geeks in black-tie offices. What actually happens is never known until it happens.

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, February 5, 2018

Machines are trying to take over. They aren't winning. And, they aren't mechanical machines made of steel and iron alloys—or in GM's case also aluminum. These are machines of "big money". Some of them are political, some of them are from the entertainment industry, others are in the business world.

Ultimately, the machines run round and round by creating problems, then solving them.

Nestle has been taking water from Springhill in Osceola County, Michigan for nearly two decades. Locals have battled with the water-relocating giant almost as long; the State often comes to Nestle's defense. We'll see how much longer that lasts. The current battle seems to include no third-party scientific research, only claims by locals that water levels are lowering vs claims by Nestle that Nestle isn't hurting anything and that local water costs would rise without Nestle—which is at the same time accused of causing the water shortage in the first place. It's almost a self-inditing argument in Nestle's defense. Now, Nestle wants to take more water.

Then, there's Uma. Perhaps "Kill Bill" should have been renamed to include something about a guy named "Harvey", at least if the title reflected the emotions of "what the movie advertisements called a 'roaring rampage of revenge'" from what happened on set and behind the scenes. To this point, Symphony has not focused on Weinstein stories because, so far, they didn't seem to include news. Uma's story in the New York Times, however, introduces the video of her injury during a stunt she was intimidated into doing. After 15 years, she finally got her hands on the video. Uma just might mark the beginning of Vol. 2 in brining down scandal-filled Hollywood.

Then, there's the machine that's after Trump. According to the president, it's a disgrace, people should be ashamed, and Congress will do what Congress will do, which is fine. Bias against Trump is "yuge". In one man-on-the-street video by Campus Reform, people react negatively to State of the Union comments—until they realize they were made by Obama. Democrats and the mainstream media can't halt the assault against Trump as long as that widespread bias against Trump exists in such a large segment of the voting population. But, that bias is driving the anti-Trump machine to uncover more and more dirt—not on Trump, but dirt—on Democrats.

While Nestle seems to solve problems it causes, the Left caused the problems it's solving. As for Hollywood, the movies describe it best.

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, January 29, 2018

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nb0EulG0wSQ

The biggest problem with analyzing Trump's next move is speculation. Talk is talk, nothing more. America seems to be obsessed with talk far before action can confirm, acquit, deny, indite, prove, or disprove. We don't know what Trump will sign into law on Immigration until he signs it. But, he seems to be wise to America's priorities where talk and action are concerned. Once again, he plays the rhetoric-obsessed section of society like a harp. He makes an offer, he sends a Tweet, he proposes a bill, and everyone gets up and sings in concert.

Take the removal of Taiwan's "ROC" flag from the US government website as an expanded example. By not having any flag there, the flag can't be wrong. The original ROC flag has the symbol of the KMT-Nationalist party in the upper corner—the same party that lost both the presidency and the legislature for the first time in history during the last general election. Many have called for the flag to change. So, removing the flag from the website could mean that the US no longer supports the KMT-Nationalists. If Taiwan were to declare independence from the mainland, the US government wouldn't have the "wrong" flag on the website, nor if China were to attempt an invasion. While China may be thrilled and Taiwan may be angry, much more was involved by replacing the flag with pure white. Maybe "surrender" was the message, though it remains unclear to whom the word would be directed, even if that was the direction. What does remain clear is that the US government website is more important than anything else.

Once again, this time in the international sphere, the Trump administration won the war of words, this time without using any. What will happen, however, always remains yet to be seen until it happens.

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Faux Report

EA Sports To Make President Trump Cover Star of PGA Tour 2018

pga

LOS ANGELES, California – 

At a press conference at the White House today, President Trump announced that he would be the next cover star for EA Sports’ PGA Tour video game series. The series will be branded as Donald Trump’s PGA Tour.

From The Hard Times:

“This is a tremendous honor that I’ve bestowed upon myself,” said Trump to a crowded White House press room. “I’ve got the best clubs, I play on the best courses, I’m like, really great at golf.  Putting the Trump brand on this game is going to boost sales, bigly.”

Casey Patrick, a lead developer on PGA Tour 18, nervously echoed the president’s sentiments while flanked on each side by Secret Service members.  

“After the Secret Service kicked our door in, slammed my head on a desk, and forced me to sign a contract that appeared to be written in crayon by President Trump himself, we were thrilled to put him on the cover,” Patrick told a group of reporters.

Trump is reportedly also in talks to be on the cover of the next MADDEN video game, and says he is “considering” whether or not to appear on the cover of WWE 2019.

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Faux Report

President Trump Will Appear in WWE Royal Rumble Tonight

trump

PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania – 

President Trump, who has been friends with WWE owner Vince McMahon for many years, and who has been a part of wrestling events in the past, will be appearing at tonight’s Royal Rumble in Philadelphia. Normally he’d be relegated to a sideline role, or a walk-in part where he may speak,  but this event will be very different. Trump will actually be wrestling in the Rumble match.

“President Trump was asked to participate, and he said yes,” said White House spokesman Giles Anderson. “He and Vince McMahon are longtime friends, and he missed working with the WWE. It was President Trump’s suggestion that he actually participate in a physical role.”

Trump has secretly been training in the ring for the last 6 months in anticipation of tonight’s event, and is saying that he is confident in his abilities.

“I obviously will not be winning the match, I don’t think anyone expects that,” said President Trump. “But I will be able to hold my own with no problem.”

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, January 15, 2018

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSL7TIAeph0

This was the week of rouses and houses. Trump called a bipartisan meeting from Congress at the White House and, to the surprise of many, much of the meeting showed on video. Everyone seemed to get along. Viewers could see real, actual video of leaders in real, normal conversation. It was somewhat unusual and not the least bit jarring.

Then began the rouse and purported fake news. The Wall Street Journal is accused of reporting that Trump claims a good relationship with Kim Jong Un rather than that he would have a good relationship with Kim Jong Un. This was one of the more obvious misreports. Another included Trump speaking vulgarly about unfortunate nations in his bipartisan meeting at the White House.

While there is no recording of his comments to members of Congress, there is a recording of what Trump said to the Wall Street Journal, which so far has refused to change the disputed quote.

Whether Trump actually spoke the dirty word as reported is left up to a whosaidhesaidit argument on Capital Hill. The big change: Republicans actually spoke in Trump's defense, that he didn't use such words. That should be notoriety enough, when someone receives support from his own enemies.

Then, there was the rouse in Hawaii with a false invasion alarm. Don't worry, Hawaii will think through what any Product Manager worth half of his salt would have drawn-up for a product roadmap well in advance. They will make it harder to press the "panic" button and equip their system with a "cancel" button to turn off the panic. Of course, it was all an accident and a big misunderstanding, nothing anyone needs to lose a job over.

In fact, the slew of rouses that trailed after the video of the president getting along with leaders in Washington was all a complete and coincidental "aligning of the planets", such a celestial event that does happen in nature, such as blue moons and Halley's Comet, except that the unusual string of rouses itself doesn't seem to be worth covering in the press—at least not elsewhere.

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, January 2, 2018

Terrorist talk didn't wait as the New Year arrived. Protests in Tehran have drawn two kinds of buzz: the first is that "keeping quiet" is the best way to respond, the second is that "economics" is the reason for the protests.

Taking the obvious first, people don't protest and riot merely over economics. This is a clear attempt by de facto pro- status quo pundits and media personalities to diminish the matter. Iranian people object to their government for the same reason everyone else does: it's a tyrant and terrorist-sponsoring regime. Reporting that the cause and headline-worthy DNA of the protests in Iran are merely about the "economy" is an insult to both the protesters and the protest victims.

The more complex buzz—claiming that the best response is to "keep quiet"—has several levels of "irony". Keeping quiet didn't work with getting Otto Warmbier back from North Korea—a friend of Iran—when Obama instructed the same tactic with Otto's family. So, "keeping quiet" has already proven to not work. Supporting protests discredits the protests and therefore gives more power to the current regime?—people in the press actually expect Americans to believe that? But, the largest of all contradictions coming from the Left relates to Trump himself. If "keeping quiet" is the way to win, why doesn't the Left try "keeping quiet" about Trump, since they don't seem to be stopping him with their constant heckling?

Reactions and spin aside, the US is in "tyranny-crackdown" mode. Perhaps the Iranian people are taking to the streets because they finally believe that when America speaks something will actually happen. That has been the evidence of the last year, anyway.

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Faux Report

A Crying Donald Trump Was Escorted Off Mar-A-Lago Golf Course After Accidentally Pooping His Pants

soiled

PALM BEACH, Florida –

President Trump has spent most of his winter vacation golfing with friends and family at Mar-A-Lago in Palm Beach, but on his latest outing, the President was caught with his pants up…when perhaps they should have been down.

According to photographers at the golf game, President Trump was on the 13th hole and right after teeing off, he let out “a massive, wet, drippy fart sound.”

“It was simultaneously hilarious and disgusting,” said Chris Robbins, the photographer who captured the immediate aftermath. “I wasn’t getting any really good shots throughout the day, but then I heard Trump rip one, really hard and really wet. I look over, and he has literally shit himself. It was made even more hilarious because, like most dipshit golfers, he was wearing stupid clothes – white pants!”

Robbins was able to get a great shot of the President being scurried away by a member of his staff and his caddy, with brown streaks running down the back of his pants.

“I honestly think this picture might win me a Pulitzer,” said Robbins. “It’s far and away the best thing I’ve ever taken. So many of the other guys bought me beers in the Mar-A-Lago club lounge after this photo was published, I could barely stand up. Hell, almost shit myself.”

The President had no comment on the incident, and maintained that “it never happened.”

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