Faux Report

President Trump Signs Order Placing Ban on AR-15 Rifles

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

Caving to pressure from teachers’ groups and anti-gun advocates, President Trump signed an immediate order banning the sale, trade, or possession of AR-15 rifles. The ban is effective immediately, with owners required to turn their firearms over to local law enforcement.

“At this time, AR-15 owners are asked to turn in their rifles to either a local police station or at a local FBI affiliate office,” said a White House representative. “The weapons will be taken and in exchange, the owner will be provided a $50 voucher to a local restaurant, generously donated by chains such as Applebee’s and Carl’s Jr.’s.”

Despite the extreme backlash that was expected by the Trump administration, most gun owners have been completely understanding and very passive about the ordeal since it was announced early this morning.

“Frankly, I don’t really need to own an AR-15, I just wanted to have it,” said gun owner Chris Hopkins in Maine. “It’s not a big deal. I wouldn’t mind a gift certificate for a dinner, anyway. Come to think of it, I am pretty hungry.”

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