Letters

Literal or Metaphor

I’ve found myself coming back over and over to Jesus’ conversation with Nick at night in John 3. I have realized something new about Nick’s communication, how it differed from Jesus’ communication, how that difference got in the way of Nick understanding what Jesus was saying, and how often I’ve done the same thing. made that same mistake, and not merely once or twice.

Here’s the passage:

Now there was a Pharisee, a man named Nicodemus who was a member of the Jewish ruling council. He came to Jesus at night and said, "Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the signs you are doing if God were not with him." Jesus replied, "Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again." "How can someone be born when they are old?" Nicodemus asked. "Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother's womb to be born!" Jesus answered, "Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, 'You must be born again.'  [John 3:1-7]

Recently I realized that Jesus was speaking metaphorically, while Nick – not understanding metaphor – was trying to understand his words literally. No wonder Nick had such trouble figuring Jesus out.

“You are Israel’s teacher,” said Jesus, “and do you not understand these things?” [verse 10]

Then I recognized that those two facts are related: Nick did not understand how Jesus was teaching because he was Israel’s teacher: because he spent his days studying the scriptures. He approached scripture very literally, and that literal way of interacting with the scriptures kept him from understanding what God was doing right in front of him.

That has been me often enough. I’ve approached scripture so terribly literally that I have misunderstood my Father who speaks literally sometimes and metaphorically sometimes. I’ve prided myself for not being afraid to interpret scripture literally, and yet that very literalist approach has often kept me from seeing, from understanding what God was doing in me, right in front of me.

Because God does not always speak literally.

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Prophecy

Discerning the Global Reset

Since the beginning of time, false representations of reality have been offered as counterfeits to God’s truth. There are two definitions of a global reset being offered at this time. One reset is empowered by God, and the other is empowered by darkness. Masking language is being used to draw believers who lack discernment toward the counterfeit, defending its proposals as evidence of their tolerance.     

The Gospel is always inviting but never tolerant of things that will ultimately harm us. Not agreeing with the ideology of a dark reset that will ultimately destroy individual lives and societies does not make one intolerant. It is an expression of love.
  
A few years ago, I began to write and speak about a reset that would take place in the Church. It would be a reset that starts us on a refocusing journey where we would begin to see the Church and its mission with new eyes. Instead of getting more complicated, our expression of faith would enter a simpler expression, void of complicated religious baggage, language, and unhealthy alliances. 

At the end of the resetting and refocusing, we would enter a resting place, where we would receive fresh revelation about how we can move forward into the future. This revelation would only be available to those willing to reset, refocus, and rest.
  
Whenever you hear the word “reset,” make sure you discern the spirit using the word. The reset Jesus offers leads to freedom, freedom of our will. This is the kind of freedom only found in the Spirit. The counterfeit reset will lead to control and demands of conformity to agendas that have at their core a spirit of death. Any refusal to follow the dictates of that dark reset will carry the shaming label of intolerance.
  
As a defining clarity is taking place regarding the two resets, a definition within the Church is also taking place regarding cultural reformation. On one side are those who view reformation as a way to control people and culture, much like the false reset. They see the assignment of the Church as creating a theocracy on earth and directing culture by demands of conformity to a particular expression of faith. 
  
On the other side are those who believe the Church’s work is best expressed in culture as an opportunity to help a culture flourish under the influence of believers embedded within its institutions. These embedded ones seek the highest good for each individual while never backing away from speaking the truth in love. The latter expression of reformation is where the power of God’s Spirit is delivered. 

This kind of Heaven-empowered reformation is so powerful that it cannot be controlled by religious or political spirits. It will endure through the tumultuous and challenging seasons of upheaval each society will experience as it matures. 

That is the kind of reformation where the reset of Heaven is taking place. The by-product of the reset will draw people to the love of God and ultimately transform the heart of a nation.

Garris Elkins
www.garriselkins.com

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Letters

#Unfiltered


“Unfiltered” is sort of a thing right now.

Folks talk on Instagram or Facebook about posts and pictures that are #Unfiltered:  they’re real, authentic, not faked, not Photoshopped, not particularly posed. “This is real,” they insist.

I believe that this is something God is doing. God is bringing this value for the authentic to the front of our attention.  God likes authentic. He likes real.

That’s one of the things I like about him. He doesn’t filter stuff. He’s authentic. He’s real.

He’s got this book (I guess they call it a Bible) that’s all about his relationship with the human race, and so it includes lots of humans in it: lots of people and their stories.

And he doesn’t filter it even a little bit. Completely unfiltered.


The people in his book, he calls some of them friends: some of them are real screw-ups. Hmm. Actually, most of them are. In fact, nearly all of them. If you were omnipotent and writing a book about your peeps, you’d think you’d show the shiny side, the good-looking side. Make them look good.

He does that a little, but that’s the smaller bit. The bigger bit is how badly his favorite people fark everything up. Or nearly everything. And he still hangs out with them.

One of his favorites started out really poor, but with a whole lot of God’s help, made it to the big time. And what does he do? He seduces the wife of one of his best friends (and daughter of another good friend). He gets her pregnant while hubby’s off fighting his imperialistic war. And then he murders her husband so he can have her all to himself. Alongside several dozen other wives and mistresses.

And God calls this son-of-a-birch-tree one of his favorites. What?

Another guy lies about his 60-year-old wife (“Nah, she’s my sister!” Essentially saying, “You can sleep with her if you promise not to kill me.”) And while they’re trying to figure out how to seduce her, he trades in on his status and ends up one of the richest dudes in the area. They have to ask him to leave so he doesn’t destroy their national economy.

God says, “Yeah, that guy is my example. I’m going to call him ‘the father of faith.’” As if it never happened!

Another guy refuses (three times!) to even acknowledge that he knows the guy when God puts on skin and comes to town. The religious freaks were setting up to murder him, and he totally ghosts the son of God. “Nope. Don’t even know the guy. Could you pass me a sandwich?”

And God makes him head of the church. Are you kidding me?

Yeah. It’s outrageous. It’s a complete travesty of justice.

And it’s one of the things I like best about this God.

It’s not that he doesn’t care if we muff it up. It’s just that muffing up doesn’t piss him off. He knows that’s how this species – built from dirt in the first place, anyway – is predisposed. And he doesn’t shun, ghost us, or get embarrassed when we come around.

In fact, he has spent literally all of recorded history pursuing us, coming to find us, getting on his knees to clean off our mess, to pull our foot from the trap, even ransom us from both sin AND death.

And if that wasn’t enough, he is so stoked to be close to us that he’ll happily live inside of us. That was his idea: not a hair’s breadth of distance between his almightiness and our dorky foolishness. Or rampant suckiness. Or unmitigated evilness. He’s not impressed. “Yeah, come here, you! Let me clean you up! Now isn’t this better, here with me?”

But wait! There’s more! He’s not done yet!

“So how’d you like to sit up here on this throne with me? Look, you can see the whole Kingdom from up here! So as long as you’re here on this throne, what kind of things would you like to do with this Kingdom? Cuz I’m going to share it, all of it, with you! We’re gonna do this together!”

Yeah, that’s the God we get to be with. #Unfiltered. Authentic. Real. Embarrassingly so.

And he invites us into all of this, to do all of life, with him.

If we’re willing.

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Faux Report

Pope Francis Tries To Curb Molestation In The Church, Declares That Priests Can Marry

VATICAN CITY – 

Pope Francis made a surprise announcement during his weekly Sunday Mass in Vatican City, stunning the world when he said that the church has decided that their priests would be allowed to wed, something that has never been allowed in the history of the Catholic Church.

“In an effort to stop our wonderful men of the cloth from molesting any more children, we have decided to allow them to marry and fornicate with women,” said Francis. “This will hopefully put an end, once and for all, to the bad behavior of some of our flock.”

Despite the announcement taking place earlier this morning, there has been no word on whether any priests have elected to look for a wife, or if they’re content with their current arrangement of molesting children for years, having the church pay hush money, and being moved to a new location after all the news is buried.

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Faux Report

Doomsday Profit Says The World Is REALLY Ending THIS Time…Like, For REAL

WASHINGTON, DC - JUNE 26:  Same-sex marriage supporters rejoice after the U.S Supreme Court hands down a ruling regarding same-sex marriage June 26, 2015 outside the Supreme Court in Washington, DC. The high court ruled that same-sex couples have the right to marry in all 50 states.  (Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC – JUNE 26: Same-sex marriage supporters rejoice after the U.S Supreme Court hands down a ruling regarding same-sex marriage June 26, 2015 outside the Supreme Court in Washington, DC. The high court ruled that same-sex couples have the right to marry in all 50 states. (Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)

Are we in our final days? It seems they have said so many times before, but Christian prophet David Meade says THIS time it’s for real.

Meade, a self-published author, bases his prediction on a complex set of calculations and inferences centered around the number 33 and imminent interference from the planet Nibiru. Sept. 23 is 33 days after the solar eclipse, which Meade sees as significant. He believes that a constellation will reveal itself over Jerusalem on Saturday, triggering the launch of a series of catastrophic “tribulations” that will mean the end of life as we know it.

NASA, meanwhile, has repeatedly said that the planet Nibiru does not exist. Yet, numerous conspiracy videos on Youtube say otherwise. Paul Younge, a Phd in Youtube Videos points out that NASA is not a reliable source.

“You think NASA is paid for with tax dollars? No, that’s ridiculous. It is funded entirely by the Illuminati, who have a vested interest in keeping the sheeple dumb and docile. They have most of the world convinced that the earth is round, even though it can be proven through simple calculations to be flat. They say there’s no aliens on the dark side of the moon, but I can site numerous credible Youtube sources to the contrary. All this business about planet Nibiru not existing is yet another bit of misinformation.”

Unlike many profits before him, David “Doomsday” Meade admits he may be wrong about the exact timing of the rapture, which is due to happen this Saturday, but he is certain is coming soon.

“I was never good at math. I’ll admit that. My calculations may be slightly off. But I can feel the rapture coming. I can feel it in my bones. “

Reportedly many others are currently feeling the rapture in their bones, a feeling that is a combination of arthritis and sweet release.

Anyone feeling rapture in their bones is advised to take two aspirin and avoid sinning, as this tends to make rapture flare ups worse.

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Letters

The Ministry of Broken People

Here's an interesting observation. I've been with a number of broken people recently. Some of them are regular folks, and some broken people are leaders, occasionally famous leaders.

I'm noticing a trend about some of the broken, messed-up and damaged Believers: God doesn't appear to give a rat's hindquarters about their brokenness. He doesn't seem to be offended by the outcasts, the rejects, the jerks.

If they’re hungry (and that seems to be a clue for all of us!), he is really happy to fill them and use them and empower them. He makes a freakin' mess changing the world through them. He's downright extravagant in showing out through them.

I've been with a number of clean and tidy and well-educated people recently. I'm noticing a trend about some of them, too. They look good, they sound good, they are comfortable to be around.

And there's a whole lot of us in between there.

But really, I see more of God's signs and wonders, more people healed and delivered, more completely unexplainable "coincidences" in the aftermath of the first group. They go places I don't like to go. They take on circumstances that make me uncomfortable. And the glory of God drools out from their brokenness, their foolishness, their awkwardness in ways that most of us aspire to.

It's interesting how our culture labels the beautiful people as the big successes. There's more of us in-betweeners, so we win the popularity polls.

But it's the broken, socially inept, rude, crude and socially unacceptable ones, the ones who actually believe God and His Book, the busted ones trying to do the stuff: these are the ones I think are actually getting it right.
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Letters

The Ministry of Broken People

Here's an interesting observation. I've been with a number of broken people recently. Some of them are regular folks, and some broken people are leaders, occasionally famous leaders.

I'm noticing a trend about some of the broken, messed-up and damaged Believers: God doesn't appear to give a rat's hindquarters about their brokenness. He doesn't seem to be offended by the outcasts, the rejects, the jerks.

If they’re hungry (and that seems to be a clue for all of us!), he is really happy to fill them and use them and empower them. He makes a freakin' mess changing the world through them. He's downright extravagant in showing out through them.

I've been with a number of clean and tidy and well-educated people recently. I'm noticing a trend about some of them, too. They look good, they sound good, they are comfortable to be around.

And there's a whole lot of us in between there.

But really, I see more of God's signs and wonders, more people healed and delivered, more completely unexplainable "coincidences" in the aftermath of the first group. They go places I don't like to go. They take on circumstances that make me uncomfortable. And the glory of God drools out from their brokenness, their foolishness, their awkwardness in ways that most of us aspire to.

It's interesting how our culture labels the beautiful people as the big successes. There's more of us in-betweeners, so we win the popularity polls.

But it's the broken, socially inept, rude, crude and socially unacceptable ones, the ones who actually believe God and His Book, the busted ones trying to do the stuff: these are the ones I think are actually getting it right.
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Letters

The Ministry of Broken People

Here's an interesting observation. I've been with a number of broken people recently. Some of them are regular folks, and some broken people are leaders, occasionally famous leaders.

I'm noticing a trend about some of the broken, messed-up and damaged Believers: God doesn't appear to give a rat's hindquarters about their brokenness. He doesn't seem to be offended by the outcasts, the rejects, the jerks.

If they’re hungry (and that seems to be a clue for all of us!), he is really happy to fill them and use them and empower them. He makes a freakin' mess changing the world through them. He's downright extravagant in showing out through them.

I've been with a number of clean and tidy and well-educated people recently. I'm noticing a trend about some of them, too. They look good, they sound good, they are comfortable to be around.

And there's a whole lot of us in between there.

But really, I see more of God's signs and wonders, more people healed and delivered, more completely unexplainable "coincidences" in the aftermath of the first group. They go places I don't like to go. They take on circumstances that make me uncomfortable. And the glory of God drools out from their brokenness, their foolishness, their awkwardness in ways that most of us aspire to.

It's interesting how our culture labels the beautiful people as the big successes. There's more of us in-betweeners, so we win the popularity polls.

But it's the broken, socially inept, rude, crude and socially unacceptable ones, the ones who actually believe God and His Book, the busted ones trying to do the stuff: these are the ones I think are actually getting it right.
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Faux Report

Cadbury Accused of ‘Crapping All Over’ Easter

easter

LONDON, England –

Easter marks the beginning of spring where chickens lay eggs and millions consume Cadbury eggs. The company-sponsored eater egg hunt is one of the biggest int he world, and many religious groups gathered to protest the celebration they claim has “gone all to Hell.”

Over 300,000 children attended this year’s hunt, held in over 250 locations across the UK. Instead of calling it the “Easter Egg Trail” like in years past, the event was called “Great British Egg Hunt.”

The Church of England released a statement saying the Cadbury is “Taking a flaming steamer on Easter, on Jesus, and British decency.” Many plan to “defend God and Easter” by complaining to anyone who will listen, but still allowing their children to take part in the festivities.

Some claim homosexual leadership at Cadbury is to blame. “All those flamers in charge of the celebration want to take out all the Lord and leave all the flamboyancy. It is a disgrace. The next generations going to be a bunch of Elton Johns, you mark my words,” said Parker Wood, a chimneysweep and concerned citizen on the street.

Cadbury spokesperson Maxwell Wancheur says they never meant to offend anyone. “The Cadbury Bunny only cares about chocolate the innocence of childhood, and well…cash.” Many feel that those who are offended by the name change are over-reacting, as bunnies and eggs are remnants of pagan traditions, and have nothing to do with Jesus anyway.

Wiccan mother of three, Clara Potter, says she will bring her kids to the festival every year no matter what they call it. “It comes down to one thing: free candy.”

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Faux Report

Prayer Group Now Taking Requests For People Who Deserve To Die

prayer

BOISE, Idaho

A prayer group in Boise, Idaho has put out a request on social media saying that they will accept “prayer requests” for people who should be wished dead, or otherwise injured – converse to all other prayer groups, who expect to receive positive prayers and wishes.

“The thing of it is, God is kind of a major dick,” said prayer group leader Marsha Gray. “I mean, hasn’t anyone ever read the bible at all? He’s more likely to cause bad shit than good, and so we want to hit up that demographic who doesn’t need anything ‘good’ to happen, and would much rather see someone suffer.”

Gray says that the prayer group meets three times a week, and that they will pray for the death or injury of up to ten people per prayer session.

“We’ve wished death, dismemberment, AIDS, cancer, and all matter of maiming on people,” said Gray. “So far, several people have reported back that their enemies have been hit by a bus or killed in other car accidents. One woman says her mother-in-law was even struck by lightning. That is really the power of the Lord!”

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Faux Report

Pope Francis Caught On Security Camera Stealing Food Placed Out For Homeless

pope

VATICAN CITY – 

Pope Francis was caught stealing food that had been placed behind the Vatican for homeless last night, causing many to decry him as “evil.”

According to Vatican Police, the footage was retrieved from a security camera system on March 18th, and showed the Pontiff stealing a plate of food that had been donated by local restaurants and left for the city’s homeless. The Pope, when questioned about this act, seemed very shaken.

“I was not stealing it. I have much food available to me. I was merely, um…I wanted them to have a good, hot meal,” said Pope Francis. “I was going to heat it in the holy microwave to make sure that any homeless that ate it would be happy.”

Police are not buying the explanation, but are forced by law, to ignore it completely.

“Unfortunately, there isn’t much we can do here,” said Vatican Police Captain Leonardo DiSuza. “His Holiness is definitely lying, but he is the end-all, be-all here in the city. It’s not like he is going to jail or anything. He won’t even get a slap on the wrist.”

Public opinion of the Pope has so far not been damaged, as most people don’t care at all about the homeless, especially homeless in Rome.

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Faux Report

Pope Francis Caught On Security Camera Stealing Food Placed Out For Homeless

pope

VATICAN CITY – 

Pope Francis was caught stealing food that had been placed behind the Vatican for homeless last night, causing many to decry him as “evil.”

According to Vatican Police, the footage was retrieved from a security camera system on March 18th, and showed the Pontiff stealing a plate of food that had been donated by local restaurants and left for the city’s homeless. The Pope, when questioned about this act, seemed very shaken.

“I was not stealing it. I have much food available to me. I was merely, um…I wanted them to have a good, hot meal,” said Pope Francis. “I was going to heat it in the holy microwave to make sure that any homeless that ate it would be happy.”

Police are not buying the explanation, but are forced by law, to ignore it completely.

“Unfortunately, there isn’t much we can do here,” said Vatican Police Captain Leonardo DiSuza. “His Holiness is definitely lying, but he is the end-all, be-all here in the city. It’s not like he is going to jail or anything. He won’t even get a slap on the wrist.”

Public opinion of the Pope has so far not been damaged, as most people don’t care at all about the homeless, especially homeless in Rome.

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Faux Report

Facebook Announces Ban On All Religious Posts, Images

SANTA BARBARA, California – 

Mark Zuckerberg announced this morning during a public forum that Facebook, the world’s number-one most trafficked website, would be soon putting a block on all religious-themed material, including posts, videos, images, and more.

“We are working diligently to keep Facebook a trigger-free zone,” said Zuckerberg. “We’re starting with religion, because as everyone knows, that is the cause of all the world’s problems. After we square that away, we will start removing posts about other triggers, such as feminism, rape, workplace issues, college, bad music, bad TV, bad movies, and so on.”

Zuckerberg says that his plan is to make a website that is so stale and boring, that its users are forced to enjoy it, in what he calls “twisted logic.”

“You see, when a user comes to the site now, they are usually angry. They come to make posts about their bad day, the horrible TV show episode from last night, the new movie trailer they can’t stand,” said Zuckerberg. “We will be taking all of that away. It will be the world’s safe space.”

 

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Faux Report

Trump Donates $130k To Organization Founded By Westboro Baptist Church

westboro

Richard Young, a spokesperson for Faith Among Nations, has confirmed to reporters that his organization recently received a donation in the amount of $130,000 from republican presidential nominee Donald Trump.

Faith Among Nations is a non-profit organization currently overseen by Paul Addison, however was originally founded in 1999 by Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps. In 2001, Phelps resigned from his position at Faith Among Nations and appointed Paul Addison to take his place as the organization’s president.

The organization claims to help wounded soldiers, wayward children, and victims of natural disasters through monetary donations while promoting traditional Christian values, however the non-profit is widely viewed as an “untrustworthy organization” and has been known to funnel money directly to The Westboro Baptist Church.

Many believe that Faith Among Nations is nothing more than a shell corporation set-up by Phelps to assist in the funding of Westboro Baptist Church business expenses such as travel expenses including air fare, hotel accommodations, and gas expenses. In 2004, the organization was slapped with multiple hefty fines when it was uncovered that upwards of $600,000 worth of Faith Among Nations donations were used to pay Westboro Baptist Church salaries.

When asked directly about the Faith Among Nations donation, Trump told reporters, “Unlike my opponents, I donate to many non-profit and charitable organizations, next question.” Many believe that Trump was unaware that his seemingly massive donation would be used to fund the questionable activities of the Westboro Baptist church, however, many others are of the opinion that Trump knowingly supported the organization.

Trump’s $130,000 donation to Faith Among Nations, is the second controversial donation that the presidential nominee has made this year. He received heavy criticism for a donation of $100,000 that he made to the Greenwell Springs Baptist Church whose interim pastor is Tony Perkins.

(via: The Boston Tribune)

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