Symphony

Cadence of Conflict: Asia, May 4, 2020

The anti-China machine is in full gear. Western nations are cranking out new reasons to hate China every day. Some is true, some is not, all is justified because China chose to respond in control, concealment, and censorship. Much how George W Bush build a case against Iraq, which many believed to be fake from the get go, people will support action against China because of other indisputable things China has done.

The better road would have been to empower China with values rather than enabling China with money. Some foolishly thought, or at least claimed to think, that giving China Western money would teach China Western values. That’s as silly an idea as thinking that giving a child a birthday cake every day will teach the child to appreciate hard work. Instead of virtue, the West raised China be like Marie Antoinette who answered poverty by saying, “Let them eat cake.”

China’s solution to Western growth is to defeat the West with technology copied from the West. That’s not a nation that learned our values, but underappreciated our hard work to a point that they would go to war with great weakness: lack of ingenuity. Like a butcher prepares a cow, the West fattened China for the slaughter and China was all to happy to get fat and angry.

Great Pacific

Taiwan refutes Philippine claim that China has say in OFW’s fate // Taiwan News

China

Intelligence report says China lied about origin of coronavirus // NY Post

Chinese military lashes out at American warship’s ‘intrusion’ in South China Sea // SCMP

China Standards 2035: Behind Beijing’s plan to shape future technology // CNBC

China is installing surveillance cameras outside people’s front doors … and sometimes inside their homes // CNN

Hong Kong

China’s new ‘rule of law’ in Hong Kong sets stage for new protests // Yahoo News

Hong Kong police break up pro-democracy singing protest at mall // Yahoo News

Korean Peninsula

Kim Jong Un surfaces on state media with mark on wrist // NY Post

Kim Jong Un may be at North Korea resort compound after satellite images spot luxury boats // Fox News

Kim Jong Un’s uncle emerges as possible successor in North Korea // NY Post

Military Faceoff

The F-35 Can’t Fly Supersonic // Popular Mechanics

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Faux Report

Prayer Group Now Taking Requests For People Who Deserve To Die

prayer

BOISE, Idaho

A prayer group in Boise, Idaho has put out a request on social media saying that they will accept “prayer requests” for people who should be wished dead, or otherwise injured – converse to all other prayer groups, who expect to receive positive prayers and wishes.

“The thing of it is, God is kind of a major dick,” said prayer group leader Marsha Gray. “I mean, hasn’t anyone ever read the bible at all? He’s more likely to cause bad shit than good, and so we want to hit up that demographic who doesn’t need anything ‘good’ to happen, and would much rather see someone suffer.”

Gray says that the prayer group meets three times a week, and that they will pray for the death or injury of up to ten people per prayer session.

“We’ve wished death, dismemberment, AIDS, cancer, and all matter of maiming on people,” said Gray. “So far, several people have reported back that their enemies have been hit by a bus or killed in other car accidents. One woman says her mother-in-law was even struck by lightning. That is really the power of the Lord!”

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Faux Report

Taco Bell To No Longer Allow Trump Supporters In Their Restaurants

taco bell

IRVINE, California – 

Taco Bell, a subsidiary of Yum! Brands, has announced today that they will no longer be allowing Trump supporters into their restaurants, based on vile hate speech that the candidate has made about Mexican immigrants.

“Taco Bell does not support hate against anyone, of any nationality, and we cannot continue to allow people who agree with such people and such views, into our establishments,” said Taco Bell spokesman Joel Silver. “Signs have been posted at each location, including franchise locations, to let people who support Trump know that they are not welcome.”

Silver says that the company has received almost nothing but support after making the announcement this morning via social media.

“There are plenty of people who support Trump, and that’s depressing,” said Silver. “We cannot, in good conscience, allow that kind of people to eat in our restaurants. Our food is a staple of Mexican-American cuisine, and to talk badly about the people who make and have created our foods is not something we support.”

Signs posted in the stores indicate that Taco Bell “stands with their fellow Mexican restaurants.”

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Faux Report

KKK Hopes To ‘Adopt A Highway,’ Wants To Rename Road ‘Dead Nigger Street’

kkk

ATLANTA, Georgia – 

The Ku Klux Klan, everyone’s least favorite sheet-wearing terrorists, have been battling the state supreme court on whether or not their organization is allowed to Adopt A Highway. Normally, groups that adopt roads are charities or non-profit groups, and none of them have ever asked about renaming roads, either.

“It’s not really so much of an issue that the Klan wants to Adopt-A-Highway, so much as they want to change the name of it as well,” said AAH Project Manager Joel Goldstein. “The Klan wants to not only clean up the highway, but the want to call it ‘Dead Nigger St.’ To me, that’s just crossing a line.”

“When you adopt a kid, you can re-name it whatever you want, and then you go on keeping that kid clean and fed and looking nice,” said Klan member Richard Dawson of Huntsville, Alabama. “If we are gonna adopt a road, and keep it looking nice, and keep it clean, then we want to rename it. And what better way to keep niggers off that street than to call it ‘Dead Nigger Street?'”

According the Supreme Court, the group has every right to Adopt A Highway if the AAH Commission signs off on it, but that they are contesting the group’s request to rename the road with use of a racial slur.

 

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