Tag Archives: Hillary Clinton

Faux Report

Bill Murray Says He Defecated On Hillary Clinton’s Limousine

murray

CHARLESTON, North Carolina –

No one expected Bill Murray to throw his hat in the ring for president, but last week, the 65-year-old comedian and actor made his intentions known officially, assuring everyone he is completely serious and interested in winning the 2016 election.

Unfortunately, immediately following his announcement that he was campaigning, a damning video surfaced of the actor on major news websites, showing him defecating on Hillary Clinton’s motorcade.

“It’s not like I was taking a dump on the American flag or anything,” Murray said, admitting to news outlets that what they had seen in the video was true. “It was just the Clinton limousine. Who cares? I had been thinking about doing that for a while now. It just seemed right. I’d never do that to Bernie Sanders, though. He seems like a decent guy. The rest of them are just scum.”

Murray’s representatives later retracted the statement, saying that Murray’s admission of guilt was a joke and made tongue-in-cheek. They denied any involvement, and attributed the incident to a lookalike.

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Faux Report

Hilary Clinton Leaks Classified Info about Extra Terrestrials

Hillary Clinton Insisting Staff Refer To Her As 'Mrs. President'

CONWAY, New Hampshire – 

Hilary Clinton said recently that aliens “may be real,” and research into her comments have uncovered some extreme news. According to The Conway Daily Sun, a small, relatively unknown newspaper in the White Mountains of New Hampshire, Hilary promised to “get to the bottom of the area 51 thing” as far back as 2007. It now appears that she, in fact, did, as it has been uncovered that beings from another world are now actually financing her campaign.

While many see Hilary Clinton’s comments as a joke, conspiracy theorists are going wild over the leak. John Podesta, former White House Chief of Staff, has been pursuing disclosure for over a decade and has been insisting “the truth is out there,” even suggesting that actress Lena Dunham “ask Hilary about aliens” in her interview.

Podesta says the real reason for the cover up is campaign funding. They don’t want to disclose how much money Extraterrestrials have donated to their campaign, since officially it is not legal for them to accept funds from out of this world.

Candidate Donald Trump responded to the situation saying that no alien life is welcome in the US, whether it be Mexicans or Martians.

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, November 16, 2015

The fourth GOP debate dominated headlines through the week. Paris dominated everything, even over the DNC debate, through the weekend. Look at the numbers from Hollywood Reporter: 8.5 million DNC debate viewers, down from 15 million in the first debate. Not only does the GOP have more debates (indicating marketability of what Conservatives have to say), audiences seem less interested in the Democrats. Viewership itself should be a consideration in predicting elections. The Republican base is energized.

The US response to Paris had the usual boilerplate soapbox grandstanding, which is expected from pundits and politicians. The folks, however, seem disinterested in hearing what everyone already knows. Paris needs friends and prayers more than see-I-told-ya-so anecdotes. That being said, relearning from repeating history isn’t entirely foolish. But there is a time to mention the obvious and an obvious time to mourn.

While political and philosophical policies have left the West wide open to all sorts of attacks, both physical and ideological, the West is waking up.  · · · →

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, August 31

Trump is the father America never had. More every day, slams and smears resemble an angry 16 year old trying to get back the keys to the car. Trump answers like a dad who says, “If you want to drive the car, you have to wash it and change the oil.” Americans who grew up in single-family homes and with disrespected fathers don’t know how to respond.

The spy who hacked the Clinton’s is found dead. The Clinton’s are almost as angry about the hacking as MI6—which raises its own questions. When did the Clinton’s and MI6 agree about anything? Not to worry, the British government is investigating whether the spy was able to lock himself in the bag he was found in. A yoga expert was brought in to try, though he failed. Does this foreshadow that Hillary’s ability to lock-in her own election has been hacked?

Ben Carson closes-in, but not against Trump; against the other hopefuls.  · · · →

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Symphony

Tempo: April 10, 2015

California sheriff's deputies beat a horse thief who is tazed and down—55 times. Rand Paul answered his last question, then left; the Left calls that "walking out"; but he would never walk out on talks with Iran. Switzerland issues the first ever 10 year bonds yielding a negative interest rate, paying back less than they were sold for. Marco Rubio issues a montage video, non-specific as a Ted Kennedy speech, with music one might expect in a Transformers movie. Krauthammer also compared Rubio to Kennedy, in a good way. Hillary Clinton plans to run, as does Jeb. Eric Bolling, in for Bill-O, doesn't like political dynasties. Microsoft makes Windows 10, the 9th edition of Windows, available to more smartphones. NRA audiences don't like the press either. Bonus articles: April 9, 1865. The Surrender at Appomattox (Dialog of Civil War surrender) | 7 Reasons Even Really Smart People Can Be Fooled by Liars

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