Category Archives: Faux Report

Faux news articles

Faux Report

National Anthem To Be Outlawed At Sporting Events, Public Gatherings

As Reported By ABCNews.com.co:

Early this morning, President Obama made what could very well prove to be the most controversial move of his presidency with the signing of Executive Order 14302, which makes it illegal to perform the national anthem at sporting events nationwide. Under the new order, it is now illegal to perform or recite the national anthem in any public venue. Because the anthem is primarily performed before sporting events, this is where the new order will have its biggest impact. Individuals who violate this order can face fines of up to…

READ FULL STORY HERE

Standard
Faux Report

Obama Signs Executive Order Forcing Recount And Investigation Into ‘Rigged’ Election

1

As Reported By ABCNews.com.co:

Following the results of Tuesday night’s election, President Obama has signed Executive Order 13805, which orders a full recount of all votes cast in the election and calls for a special election to be held on December 19th. Obama signed the order in response to the concerns of thousands of voters across the country who said that they were prevented from casting a ballot on election day, too many absentee ballots have not been found or counted, equipment failures, as well as concerns that some members of the electoral college may have acted unethically.

“People all over the country have been flooding my office with calls, telling my staff of horror stories about being harassed and intimidated by poll workers,” Obama told reporters. “Many have even said that they were flat out denied entry into the voting booths to cast their ballots if they were wearing…

READ FULL STORY HERE

Standard
Faux Report

New Strain Of Weed In Colorado Has Teens ‘Turning Gay’, Doctors Baffled

screen-shot-2016-11-26-at-11-27-09-pm

As Reported By ABCNews.com.co:

“We’ve never seen anything like this before,” said Dr. Hans Vermhat of the Barrow Neurological Institute. “The drug addicts in Colorado are injecting a new strain of marijuana that changes the chemical makeup in the brain’s receptors which control the users like or dislike of the opposite sex; ultimately turning them into a flaming homosexual.”

Michele Leonhart, DEA chief of operations in Denver, told ABC news that marijuana related problems in Colorado have quadrupled since…

READ FULL STORY HERE

Standard
Faux Report

Trump Voter Shoots Liberal Nephew Over Argument At Thanksgiving Dinner

shooting

As Reported By Satrina Tribune:

A Thanksgiving Day dinner turned deadly after a political argument ended with a 23-year-old graduate student being shot in the chest by his 62-year-old uncle.

Local police were called to the scene after neighbors reported the shooting. Family members were divided and uncooperative with the authorities. A Wausau Daily Herald news van arrived to report the story.

As uncle Wade was handcuffed and placed next to a cop car, the intoxicated man began defending his actions. “The kid that he was a know it all with his schooling,” said Wade. “What’s wrong with a factory job pulling a lever? If it’s good enough for a Chinaman to do, it’s good enough for me.”
READ THE FULL STORY HERE
Standard
Faux Report

Trump Claims Victory After Castro’s Death: ‘I Did It!’

trump

As Reported By Satira Tribune:

“Nobody could kill that guy but I did,” said Trump. “It was the easiest thing ever.”

With over 600 assassinations attempts on the Communist Cuban leader life over the past 60 years, Trump was eager to show leadership and that he meant business through power.

“JFK, internal enemies, all of them failed, but not me,” said Trump. “I’m already accomplishing more than the past ten presidents combined. I think the voter chose the right person for the right job,” he said. “Really, how hard is it to kill…

READ THE FULL STORY HERE

Standard
Faux Report

Newport Plans To Introduce New Marijuana Cigarettes For Sale In States Where Weed Is Legal

newports

As Reported By Empire Herald:

Newport Cigarettes, one of the world’s most popular cigarette brands, announced today that they will join the marijuana legalization trend and start producing marijuana cigarettes. Marketed under the brand ‘Newport Nirvana’, the cigarettes will be made available for sale through marijuana-licensed outlets in the state of Colorado, and the state of Washington.

Reynolds American Inc. Chief Marketing Executive Lawrence Harrison, said in an interview that the company has been ecstatic on the idea of marketing cannabis, and has been monitoring the market for some time. It was only when the recent legalization initiatives…

READ FULL STORY HERE

Standard
Faux Report

Man Murders Girlfriend Because She ‘Wouldn’t Make Eye Contact With Him’

eyes

As Reported By Empire Herald:

Anthony Jeffries, 29, of Little Rock, was arrested by authorities and charged with first degree murder after authorities found his 24-year-old girlfriend dead in the basement of his home. According to reports, Danica Rebel, the now deceased girlfriend of Jeffries, placed a series of 911 calls, regarding a domestic dispute between the two.

According to reports, Rebel had placed 3 calls to police, reporting that her boyfriend, was becoming violent with…

READ FULL STORY HERE

Standard
Faux Report

Law Professor Says There Is A ‘Very Good Chance’ Trump Can Be Impeached Immediately After Taking Office

trump

As Reported By Empire Herald:

Many voters didn’t expect that Republican candidate Donald Trump to win the election with all of the various fraud lawsuits and sexual assault cases against him, but he somehow managed to become the next President of the United States. As much of America (and the world) collectively voice their concerns regarding Trump’s win, many Americans are turning to Google to find out either how to move out of Canada or how to impeach Trump.

According to one law professor, it may be difficult to impeach President Trump now that the GOP is in control of both the Senate and the House of Representatives – but there is still a strong belief that there’s already enough evidence to impeach…

READ FULL STORY HERE

Standard
Faux Report

Law Professor Says There Is A ‘Very Good Chance’ Trump Can Be Impeached Immediately After Taking Office

trump

As Reported By Empire Herald:

Many voters didn’t expect that Republican candidate Donald Trump to win the election with all of the various fraud lawsuits and sexual assault cases against him, but he somehow managed to become the next President of the United States. As much of America (and the world) collectively voice their concerns regarding Trump’s win, many Americans are turning to Google to find out either how to move out of Canada or how to impeach Trump.

According to one law professor, it may be difficult to impeach President Trump now that the GOP is in control of both the Senate and the House of Representatives – but there is still a strong belief that there’s already enough evidence to impeach…

READ FULL STORY HERE

Standard
Faux Report

Woman Claims She Makes Over $10k A Month By Asking ‘Boyfriends’ For Abortion Money

aborti

As Reported By Huzlers:

A 27-year-old woman was pulled over early morning due to a speeding violation. Natasha Brown, acted in a very suspicious manner officers decided to search her vehicle where they discovered $60,000 in cash. When officers asked her why she had such a large amount of money she replied “I’m getting an abortion” she was taken into custody for further questioning.

She told Baton Rouge investigators that the money was rightfully hers, Investigators asked her for employment information and she told investigators she had no job that she was a “self-employed entrepreneur” she then told investigators she had multiple…

READ FULL STORY HERE

Standard
Faux Report

‘Little Old Lady’ Accused of Making Fur Coats With Neighbors’ Pets She Murdered

a-lady

From World News Daily Report:

An 85-year old Texas woman has been arrested by local law enforcement after being caught on film kidnapping one of her neighbor’s cats with which she is accused of making fur coats.

The recent disappearance of domestic animals in the neighborhood started to arise suspicion from local residents when some people started to notice the old lady’s particular fur coats, some even recognizing their cats in the coat’s furs, a fact the lady vehemently denied before being caught on videotape by a private detective hired by local residents to follow the suspicious lady.

It is believed the old lady started at first to raise her own cats but finally decided to…

READ FULL STORY HERE

Standard
Faux Report

Baby Born In India With Two Brains In Same Body

2minds2

From World News Daily Report:

Doctor Jagadhish Parsa, who assisted yesterday in the birth of a baby born with a rare malformation causing him to have two distinct brains crammed inside his head, claims that the newborn could be a unique case of two separate minds sharing a single head and body. Tamish and Rajiv Mukeherjee were born at 09:10 AM at the Saiffe Hospital, after a long and complicated surgical operation meant to extract them safely from their mother’s womb.

The boys are a unique case of disrosopus, a rare condition in which twins share the same body but have separate faces and brains. In the case of Tamish and Rajiv, the twins share both the same face and the same body, with each of them controlling only one side…

READ FULLY STORY HERE

Standard
Faux Report

Man On Crystal Meth Kills 12 Neighbors, Believes They Are Zombies

meth

As Reported By World News Daily Report:

A 32-year old man went on a killing frenzy last night, after spending 36 hours in a row watching Walkind Dead while doing drugs. According to the police, Kevin Fogarty was so badly intoxicated with crystal meth, that he became convinced his apartment was surrounded by zombies.

He equipped himself with an assault rifle, two pistols, a machette and a hammer, before going outside to “kill undead…”

READ THE FULL STORY HERE

Standard
Faux Report

German Scientists Are Able To Prove That There’s Life After Death

scientists-landing-page-img

As Reported By World News Daily Report:

A team of psychologists and medical doctors associated with the Technische Universität of Berlin, have announced this morning that they had proven by clinical experimentation, the existence of some form of life after death. This astonishing announcement is based on the conclusions of a study using a new type of medically supervised near-death experiences, that allow patients to be clinically dead for almost 20 minutes before being brought back to life.

This controversial process that was repeated on 944 volunteers over that last four years, necessitates a complex mixture of drugs including…

READ THE FULL STORY HERE

Standard