President Trump announced this morning that he would be taking a 2-month vacation beginning April 1st, returning to Washington in June, after a “stressful” first quarter of 2017.
“There are a lot of things that have come across my desk, and it’s been overwhelming,” said Trump. “I think that it will be a good time to take a break, and let things really setting in my head so I can continue Making America Great Again.”
Trump owns a home in the Bahamas, but will be renting a massive villa instead of using the home he owns.
“I want to see new parts of the area, and so I will be renting some property for the two months I’m gone. This will only put a minor burden on tax payers, as it will fall under Presidential Service.”
President Trump will be bringing his wife and son Barron, as well as 13 members of the Secret Service.
Trump has his “Russian election help” just as Obama had his “fake birth certificate”. While the Democratic base pushes for investigations of an election for which they still can’t accept their loss, there is little to no complaint on Capital Hill about the Clinton Foundation’s involvement in Bernie Sanders’ defeat at the primaries. The so-named “Russian hack” investigation puts all of its hopes on the FBI director whose “investigation” ordered the local Sheriff to enter random passwords into the San Bernardino iPhone until it locked, rather than following Apple’s instructions from the start. This is the same man whose investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails also went nowhere.
The truth doesn’t matter in these outcomes of legitimacy to hold public office. Once in office, the victor stays, the entire investigation is bravado for the base. Some call this “demagoguery”. And, half of America is finding the excuse they need to panic. America is headed toward a face off, not of facts or testimony, but of one opinion versus its opposite.
Take “Repeal and Replace” over Obamacare for instance…
In the first half of the week, headlines were dominated by the unproven accusation that the Obama-governed election was hacked by the Russians, as if that would somehow be a problem for Trump. Then, “Repeal and Replace” neither repealed nor replaced.
Republican leadership puts together a package to phase out Obamacare without harming the few who actually benefit from it. The “Freedom” caucus objects to it not being conspiracy-proof enough, more or less. Trump, author of “The Art of the Deal”, isn’t finished negotiating; it’s smoke screen time.
“Smoke screen time…”
Trump Tweets “Watch Judge Jeanine… tonight.” Judge Jeanine opens her show by saying that House Speaker Paul Ryan should resign. Chief of Staff Reince Priebus tells Sunday show host Chris Wallace that Trump’s Tweet was to help a personal friend promote her show and that the White House doesn’t want Ryan to resign—but, the discussion is now on the table. Suddenly, the White House supporting people in the media is a bad thing because Trump is the one supporting. Suddenly, reaching across the isle is a bad thing because headlines portray that Trump wants to be the one reaching. Like dogs begging for doggie biscuits, talking heads freely advertise that Trump is willing to accept any votes Democrats want to give him—as if that is something new. Now, the investigation into whatever the Russians were allowed to get away with under Obama’s watch is creating questions for Obama officials to draft answers for. What does it all mean?
It all means that players who try to “trump” Trump, are gonna’ end up in a dust storm. Trump’s election didn’t merely metaphorically “blow up” Democrats, or Republicans for that matter, but the entire political landscape with them. That’s what his supporters really wanted, and that’s just what they’re getting. That’s what this is all about: blowing the dust off an archaic stronghold.
Right or wrong, Washington has a new general in town. No more business as usual. No more politics as usual. The games aren’t going to look like the Harlem Globe Trotters vs the Washington Generals anymore.
The upcoming Supreme Court nomination approval will certainly prove important. SCOTUS should likely hear any number of cases involving whether Republican and Democratic presidents must abide by the same laws, immigration and spying not the least.
The cat is out of the bag and it looks like it’s about to have kittens. Obamagate is here.
Multiple sources claim Obama used British Intelligence to spy on Donald Trump. While British surveillance is certainly ahead—with their soon-to-be-released drone ‘robo-cops’—why does the US president need British help? He’s not just attempting to flatter James Bond fans. When a president enters through the back door, too many questions come up. Why would the most powerful politician in the world need to have someone else do his work? Is he not allowed to? Does he want to keep his fingerprints off a smoking gun? Does Obama know something we don’t?
Trump supporters and Trump dissidents will both honker down on their positions. Some former Trump dissidents will flip to support him when they see what he was up against. Obama fans will view Obama as having been in such a desperate predicament that drastic means were necessary. Trump fans will view Trump just the same, in a desperate predicament. No arguments will persuade anyone. Only events will sway a few late bloomers. continue reading
After what President Trump says was an election that was “too close” for his comfort, he has said that his latest executive order, H11, will repeal the 19th amendment, making it so women can no longer vote.
“The reason that we almost had Hillary Clinton as our President is because of women,” said Trump. “Look, I respect women. I do. No one respects women more than me, but the truth is, women are dumb, and they make dumb decisions. They don’t know who to vote for, obviously, and so it’s time we took away that right.”
Trump went on to say that he hopes to eventually also remove the vote from African-Americans and ‘dirty Chinamen.’
“The fact of the matter is, this country had its greatest leaders when the only people who could vote were old, white, landowners. Real men who had real decision making skills,” said Trump. “Today, people would rather scroll through their Facebook feed and post pictures of their dinner on Instagram than actually make a conscious effort to learn anything. Especially minorities. They’re the worst.”
The ACLU has, naturally, filed a motion to dismiss the order as “fucking stupid.”
President Trump signed executive order HS-666 on Friday, completely outlawing fake news. A memorandum to the order outlined specifically outlets that were deemed to be liars, and people who worked for those media stations were immediately taken into police custody.
Top-level executives at CNN, MSNBC, and The Onion were all taken in by police for releasing “fake news stories” to the public, and charged with currently unknown crimes.
“This new order is a disgrace to all of us who write real news, and are being labeled as fake by a bullish president,” said a representative for CNN. “It’s a sad day when we are coupled in with The Onion. No offense to them. They’re kind of funny sometimes. But the fact that anyone thinks that CNN is writing the same kind of news as The Onion? That’s absurd.”
Trump reportedly plans to continue his raids of fake news organizations, and says he is “very pleased” with the initial work that police forces have done to implement his order.
After the rains, flowers in the Southwest are in full bloom. One highlight is purple, the color for The People’s Party. As for the east coast, things are frozen, both in weather and in politics. Lowering taxes could take time. Getting health care laws to lower health care prices and unshackle employers could take more time. The leading political party’s interests are divided and their opposition has no tactic beneath them. Democrats are filibustering every political appointee as Obama appointees persist; Trump fired 46 Obama-appointed prosecutors. Of course, opposition filibusters and firing federal prosecutors for any new, incoming president are both standard practice. Conservatives expected as much and don’t demonstrate any shock, yet Liberals usually think their loss deserves exception. Everything suggests that Republicans will gain ground in the Senate come 2018, thanks to the Democrats refusal on cloture. Therein lies the real danger: supermajority.
A group of professors had a wild idea: What if Trump had been a woman and Hillary had been a man? Surely that would have flipped election results. Actually, after a carefully-rehearsed reenactment of the presidential debates by one skilled actor and one skilled actress, Liberal supporters were in for another surprise. Hillary supporters adored Trump’s words when they came from a woman and hated Hillary’s words when they came from a man. After learning the truth, they didn’t change their political preferences, of course.
People rarely change their opinions, given new information, no matter what political party they are from. While Conservatives will tout the results of this little theatrical-political experiment, they reacted with much of the same blindness over news about Bush family dealings. Note, the term “Trump dissident” is important in describing this presidential term. Most of the people who voted for Hillary didn’t like her, supported Bernie Sanders, and liked Trump least of all, to say the least.
Hillary’s team met with the Russians before the election, according to the Kremlin. That will make the upcoming hearings even more interesting. The game of chairs keeps revolving. No political victory is final. No enemy is ultimate. And no pettiness evades anyone.
President Trump has said that he would like to hire Barack Obama to come back and work in the White House, and be his “co-President,” which he says is different from the Vice President, in that he wants to have someone who has already done the job, and “done it perfectly,” to help him learn the ropes.
“Despite our differences, it is quite obvious that my predecessor was extremely talented in his duties as President,” said Trump. “Obviously, I’m doing great things. I want to keep doing great things. No one wants to do more great things than I do. And I think the best way to do great things, and make America Great, is to hire someone who can be my right-hand man, and help get that done. That man is Barack Obama.”
Trump’s approval rating since taking office has been the lowest in history, and he says that because of this, a drastic change had to occur.
“I’m glad that Donnie has seen how difficult this is, and that he has reached out,” said Obama. “I am extremely grateful that he has shown to be a bigger man than I thought, and has reached out across the aisle, even, to help keep this country great. I’m with him 100%”
President Donald Trump has rung the death toll for the Cable News Network. According to recently filed documents, the once mega-giant news channel will be losing their FCC licenses, forcing them to stop broadcast on April 1. The blow comes after Trump declared the company ‘fake news,’ and blacklisted them from attending White House press conferences.
“CNN is the worst network on television today, and nothing they say about me is true,” said President Trump. “The only network worth watching is Fox News. They are true. They say true things, and they say the best things. CNN is the worst, and everything they say is fake news.”
After Trump declared the channel to be fake news, their ratings plummeted to the lowest in cable television history, with only around 100 to 150 people even tuning into the channel on a daily basis.
“We are saddened that Trump has chosen our network to the be the scapegoat for his War on Truth,” said CNN head Carl Nelson. “Because of his lies about our network, we have lost our licenses, and lost our ability to broadcast. Effective April 1st, we will no longer be on the air.”
Nelson says they are trying to convince the FCC that they should be allowed to continue broadcasting, but the FCC says that they are “not interested” in listening to any fake news, either.
“President Trump has informed us that CNN should not be listened to, so we’re not going to,” said FCC chairman Joel Winters. “We’re a government agency. We do what we’re told. I’m not losing my job over this shit.”
Corruption reports are in and still coming. Some include the EPA functioning as a laundering screen and Obama organizing post-presidential politics. It’s a machine, as much as reports go.
Now the public has multiple reports, just coming in, that six agencies under presidential control wire tapped Donald Trump as a candidate and president-elect. This has two important ramifications, among others. Firstly, with so many court orders that Obama’s subordinates pushed for even after warrant requests were rejected, few stones have been left unturned, still with no evidence of fowl play and clearly that Russians did not decide America’s election outcome. While this begs the question as to why six agencies went after the president’s political opposition leader without finding any inditing evidence, the stronger implication is vindicating: the accused is best proven innocent when proven innocent by his own accusers. The second ramification is that Obama must have either known what was going on or was too incompetent to know what every president should know—six agencies under his control were going after the same political opponent.
Now, we have reports of the Obama administration continuing to grasp for political influence, something that ex-presidents just don’t do.
Weigh the game of powers. If Obama didn’t have the controls to remain in office, efforts to control after leaving office won’t work either. Supporters secretly adore the idea of an Obama coup. But, it can’t happen. History’s uprisings favor the small and new, not the old and retired. Take Hillary for example. Making her Secretary of State was the perfect way to make sure she would tire and fumble and make herself susceptible, whether Obama intended that or not.
Like Jesse Jackson and those who trailed Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., once a movement peaks it can’t return. Obama’s best days in America are over. But, he’s still kicking and squirming. He didn’t quit while he was ahead. People will tire of him as they did of Napoleon. And, that means more political power will shift to the Republican establishment; then, pray that Heaven may help us all. Few things are more dangerous than one-party power. While we may not get there, the country is headed for Republican tyranny, thanks to the Obama years of over-reach.
For the first time since 2012, Chicago went six days without a shooting that results in a death. Shootings continue, but almost a week with no “homicides” is a record. Some people will care; other people won’t.
Americans love flags. The over-sized flag, the “Star Spangled Banner”, was a strategic tool of Fort McHenry at the Battle of Baltimore and the US national anthem itself is named after the flag. If the United States ever truly intended to communicate that it believes Beijing seats the rightful government over the island of Taiwan, then Washington DC would have demanded that Taiwan fly the Chinese Communist flag over its own flag, like Hong Kong does. But, it didn’t and they didn’t ask. The test of what Donald Trump thinks about China is not a question of how many times he sees the word “China” on his globe at home, but what flags he accepts flown where.
Is China wise to what’s going on? Perhaps money is making all the difference. China’s PLA Navy is headed for an increased budget. If money was China’s answer, perhaps money tipped-off Beijing in the first place.
According to Obama Treasury rules, China is only 1/3 of a “currency manipulator”, exceeding a $20B trade deficit with the States. The other two rules relate inflation to GDP and official currency purchases to GDP—two things where China plays by a different set of rules than American economics. China “declares” its own currency value, it is not determined by the markets, making what the US refers to as “inflation” irrelevant to China. The second irrelevant Obama rule relates to “official” currency purchases. If only economics were only affected by “official” purchases, many other economic problems would be solved. But, economies are affected by “actual” purchasing, not merely whatever we happen to label as “official” this decade. The Chinese, especially, are experts at looking good “officially” while doing the bulk of their work under the table. Why else would Asians be so focused on cram schools and testing?
Then, there is the task of calculating “GDP” in a heavy back-and-forth trade economy. In 2011, the US slapped tariffs on China-made solar panels, which were made with materials imported from the US, which China also slapped a tariff on. Not only is actual “domestic” product difficult to measure in a “Venn diagram” of overlapping markets, there is also the problem that China’s government behaves like a company itself—benefiting from tariff revenue, thereby triggering another slew of investing and purchasing opportunities. If economics were a pair of glasses, China operates in ultraviolet light that no pair of US lenses can detect.
So, not only were the Obama Treasury “currency manipulator” rules an attempt to measure the light with a wind sensor, Trump gets what Trump wants. If China is destined for the “currency manipulator” list, it will get on that list one way or another, and there is a laundry list of ways that can happen.
But, then, there is North Korea.
While the “experts” lecture the world about how “trade wars” always backfire, China harbors its own trade war with the government in Northern Korea. Kim Jong Un isn’t happy with Beijing and Beijing wants to talk about it with the US.
In a new statement from the White House, President Trump has said that he plans to work with states to help tackle harsh drug addiction by doing what he did to quit smoking nearly 30 years ago.
“I used to smoke, and it disgusted even me,” said President Trump. “The only way I was able to quit was to smoke until I puked I smoked about 9 packs in a matter of an hour. I never wanted to smoke again. I strongly believe that the best way to kick a habit is to overdo it. If you want to kick heroin or meth or cocaine, you just have to do an obscene amount of it. Legalizing drugs will help.”
Despite Trump’s health advisors explaining the drastic consequences this could have, Trump is reportedly undeterred.
“I also used to do a lot of cocaine. The only way I kicked that habit was by flying to Colombia and doing lines of pure white off the back of a hooker,” said Trump. “Sometimes, abundance is the only way to really flush something out of your system.”
Although Trump plans to sign an executive order later this week legalizing non-prescription drugs for use by anyone over the age of 18, there is bound to be an extreme backlash from anti-drug groups.
After Donald Trump was elected President, a group of researchers at the Pentagon set into motion a study unlike any other – they wanted to find out the average IQ of a group that would elect such an unqualified person into office.
Working with over 10,000 confirmed Trump voters and 10,000 confirmed non-Trump voters, researchers gave standardized intelligence quotient tests to each group. There was no time limit to complete the test, and it was given twice over a week-long period.
“The results of the testing, while not at all surprising, prove that Trump voters are drastically behind liberals and non-Trump voters on an intellectual basis,” said Dr. Carl Brewner, who headed the study. “The test was 200 questions, and each completed test gave us an average IQ score based on answers. On average, a Trump voter would score in the 30th percentile, or have an average intelligence level of about 71, far below the 90 to 110 that is considered ‘normal.’ A non-Trump voter would score an average of approximately 96.”
The research team claims that their test is ‘fairly conclusive,’ and they feel that even if they tested every single one of the millions of Trump voters, they’d come up with similar results.
“It was quite obvious to everyone that anyone who would vote for Donald Trump must be pretty stupid,” said Brewner. “Just look at the stupid things they say and do in your timeline on Facebook every single day. Now, though, we don’t even have to rely on just physical evidence of their stupidity via comments and posts and memes – we have the actual scientific data to back up how dumb they really are.”
The “Finger-Chop Challenge” has begun to spread across social media, with teens and college students reportedly cutting off their fingers in an effort to raise awareness about the “evils of Donald Trump” as President.
“Trump is a disgusting, sick, orange bigot,” said Maria Lambert, 19, a college sophomore at Dartmouth. “I chopped off all of my fingers on a livestream on Facebook. I left just the middle finger on one hand, because fuck Trump, that’s why.”
Following in a dangerous trend of challenges like the cinnamon or milk gallon challenges, the new finger-chop challenge opens up an entire new world of issues for parents, as well as the teens stooping to such ignorant levels.
“My son has done the challenge 4 times, and each time, he’s cut off a new finger. He’s down to just the pinky on his left hand,” said Carl Lunger of his son, Mario Lunger, 17. “Frankly, though, I’m proud of him. He’s taking a stand against Trump, and he’s also raised a lot of awareness about Trump. Last I knew, he had over 300 views on his YouTube video.”
Health officials are warning parents, though, of the dangers of their children cutting off their own fingers for internet notoriety.
Donald Trump signed his latest order on Wednesday morning, which will allow for an extra $1000 to be sent out with the tax refunds of ‘deserving Americans.’ According to Trump, the money will not be coming from within the tax system, and will instead come out of his own pocket.
Trump says that he plans to spend approximately $15 million to hand out extra cash to police, fireman, doctors and nurses, and veterans, among others.
“There are a lot of people who do a lot of good for others, and these people are the most deserving Americans I know,” said Trump. “And because they do so much good, I think they deserve a little good in return. This year, I will send out over 15000 checks for an extra $1000 each to those people who are deserving of a little extra help, and a little more appreciation.”
Trump says that the 15000 people will be chosen at random, from a database curated by the National Census Bureau, which has information on the employment of over 6 million Americans.
