Tag Archives: running

Faux Report

Kanye West Announces Plans To Run For President

Kanye West Doesn’t Believe Black People Exist

LOS ANGELES, California –

Kanye West has reportedly just thrown his hat into a very diverse ring of candidates for the presidential elections. According to West, he couldn’t find a candidate in the field who was “deserving” or “cool” enough to become the next president, and that running himself was the only viable option.

“I backed Obama, because he’s my boy. He’s black, he’s a great speaker, and he’s black,” said West. “This year, there are no candidates who move me in the same way that Obama moved me. No one to get behind. No one black. That’s why I’m running myself.”

According to West, he will be running as an independent, although at this time he doesn’t have much of a platform.

“I don’t know much about the world, or the things happening in it, but I know that I can change all the bad things and make them good, just like I did to the music industry, just like I’ll keep doing with my family,” said West. When asked why he wasn’t just backing Ben Carson, who is an African-American candidate, West seemed confused. “I have no idea who you’re talking about. Is he the guy who used to cut open babies or something? Yeah, he’s a joke.”

West will make an official announcement of his candidacy on Tuesday.

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Faux Report

Kanye West Announces Plans To Run For President

Kanye West Doesn’t Believe Black People Exist

LOS ANGELES, California –

Kanye West has reportedly just thrown his hat into a very diverse ring of candidates for the presidential elections. According to West, he couldn’t find a candidate in the field who was “deserving” or “cool” enough to become the next president, and that running himself was the only viable option.

“I backed Obama, because he’s my boy. He’s black, he’s a great speaker, and he’s black,” said West. “This year, there are no candidates who move me in the same way that Obama moved me. No one to get behind. No one black. That’s why I’m running myself.”

According to West, he will be running as an independent, although at this time he doesn’t have much of a platform.

“I don’t know much about the world, or the things happening in it, but I know that I can change all the bad things and make them good, just like I did to the music industry, just like I’ll keep doing with my family,” said West. When asked why he wasn’t just backing Ben Carson, who is an African-American candidate, West seemed confused. “I have no idea who you’re talking about. Is he the guy who used to cut open babies or something? Yeah, he’s a joke.”

West will make an official announcement of his candidacy on Tuesday.

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Faux Report

Hillary Clinton Plans To Make Bill Clinton Her Running Mate If She Wins In Primary

clintons2

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

Although he has already served a full two terms as president, nothing is stopping Hillary Clinton from making her husband, Bill Cinton, her vice-presidential running mate should she win during the primary elections; an act she says she is planning on doing.

“Bill has already been there, and he’s already seen what a presidential seat can do to a person, and there is no one better to join me at my side, and in my cabinet, than him,” said Hillary Clinton. “I am officially planning to recognize my husband, Bill, as my running mate if I am to take the primaries.”

Members of Congress say that there is no reason that Bill Clinton cannot serve as vice president, but there are issues were something to happen to Hillary if she were elected, such as a death, or a scandal or other measure that forces her to resign.

“If she were to be elected with Bill Clinton as her vice president, we are unsure, at this time, if he would be able to take over the roll of president as would normally be the case,” said congressional member Richard Doorer (R-Iowa). “As he has already fulfilled his duty as president, and completed two full terms, he is not eligible to run again, but that doesn’t necessarily negate that he could be president again in that sort of situation. We’ll take it as it comes, if it does indeed arise.”

According to an anonymous source inside the Clinton campaign, the entire race has just been one big ploy to get Bill Clinton back into the oval office, with Hillary planning on winning, and immediately stepping down, allowing for her husband to take over.

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