Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, May 23, 2016

Trees of our national parks, apparently, are a reminder of racism. Though the first National Park, Jellystone, was instituted over a decade after slavery ended, the trees in national parks are offensive. Nonetheless, no effort has been made to either cut down the trees or shut down the National Parks where the offending trees grow.

A poll has confirmed the obvious: The name “Redskins” does not offend Redskins. If the name of the DC baseball team, “the Washington Redskins” were to be made less offensive, it should drop the truly offensive word, just being called “the Redskins”.

A Muslim group has executed 25 people by lowering them into a vat of nitric acid. While it sounds like a high school science experiment gone bad, we should look on the bright side: At least there were no reports of referring to anyone as a “Redskin”, no trees migrated from US National Parks, and certainly no reports of telling people which bathrooms they should use.

The homosexual pastor confessed to fabricating the writing on the cake. This brings up many other issues. After his very convincing emotional performance, he gave everyone outside the Transgender-Homosexual Rights movement permission to suspect and disbelieve anyone who claims to be offended. But there is an even bigger problem: Heterosexual parents already recognize those kinds of emotional outbursts as phony—because their own children perform with those phony emotional outbursts all the time. Homosexuals don’t have biologically natural children by definition. Accordingly, very few of them would know how to recognize that “gay” (though unhappy) lying pastor looks like just another whining child who didn’t grow up and is willing to tell any fib and shed any amount of phony tears to get his way. He and those like him don’t have the personal life experience to know how obvious their phony performance is to the rest of us.

To quote Laura Ingraham on Congress’ response to the 2005 “build a fence” complaints from the public, “Perhaps they fell in love with their own rhetoric and forgot how it sounds to everyone else.”

Why would anyone lie about an injury? He raised questions about whether his cause is legitimate in the first place. And, now, that “crying, sobbing, ‘bloody-murder'” trump card can’t ever be played again. Whenever people that performance, they will be reminded of “the birthday cake”. By lying about an offense, he gave more power to his opposition than he knows.

At this rate, how can revival not return to America!?

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Faux Report

Target To Add ‘Gender Fluid’ Bathrooms To All Stores

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CARSON, Georgia –

Target has announced that they plan to add a gender-fluid bathroom to every store in the United States, after a boycott cost the company over $14 million in sales in only a week’s time. The company says that making it public that they allowed transgender people to use whatever bathroom they were most comfortable with while shopping in Target stores caused an outrage, and a new change had to be made.

“Despite the fact that there has never, ever been a law about who can use what bathroom when out in public, we thought were were doing the right thing when we announced that we wanted every shopper to use the bathroom the identified with. Boy, were we wrong,” said Target spokesman George Michaels. “You see, a man can go into a ladies room if he wants, or vice-versa. There is literally no law anywhere in the country that says that they can’t. It’s societal norms that dictate this stuff, not laws. We just wanted to make a point, and we lost millions because of it.”

As such, the company says they will now be adding “gender fluid” or “gender neutral” bathrooms to all stores, so that a person – no matter how they identify – can use the bathroom in piece. All the bathrooms will be single-use only, allowing only one person in at a time.

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Faux Report

Transgender People Not Allowed To Use Any Public Restroom In Georgia Thanks To New Laws

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ATLANTA, Georgia – 

Following a very divisive ruling in North Carolina that makes it so that a person’s birth gender is the one they must identify with when using public restrooms, Georgia has created their own new laws, which make it so that people who are transgender are not allowed to use public restrooms at all.

“Trannies are nasty, and we don’t want them to use either bathroom when they are in public,” said Georgia state senator Luke Davidson. “If you are a tranny, you must use your own bathroom, or a bathroom in another private establishment. In public, you are not allowed to use a bathroom, because we don’t trust you not to molest our kids or rape someone.”

Davidson says that the North Carolina ruling made it “very easy” for Georgia to create their own laws, and that it is a major step in the right direction, but transgender people in the state say that the law is too discriminatory.

“I have no desire to molest your children, and I am definitely not a rapist,” said transgender man Ricky Law. “I just have to take a shit sometimes, like anyone else, and I need a bathroom to do it. This law is outrageous, and there are a lot of us that will fight it all the way to the damn White House if we have to.”

“I don’t care what some nasty dickless man says, it’s not right for someone to use a bathroom if they can’t even decide what sex they are,” said Davidson. “Obviously everyone within the state agrees, or we never would have gotten these laws to pass. Sorry trannies, just stop being weird, and you can start going again like the rest of us.”

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