Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, May 23, 2016

Trees of our national parks, apparently, are a reminder of racism. Though the first National Park, Jellystone, was instituted over a decade after slavery ended, the trees in national parks are offensive. Nonetheless, no effort has been made to either cut down the trees or shut down the National Parks where the offending trees grow.

A poll has confirmed the obvious: The name “Redskins” does not offend Redskins. If the name of the DC baseball team, “the Washington Redskins” were to be made less offensive, it should drop the truly offensive word, just being called “the Redskins”.

A Muslim group has executed 25 people by lowering them into a vat of nitric acid. While it sounds like a high school science experiment gone bad, we should look on the bright side: At least there were no reports of referring to anyone as a “Redskin”, no trees migrated from US National Parks, and certainly no reports of telling people which bathrooms they should use.

The homosexual pastor confessed to fabricating the writing on the cake. This brings up many other issues. After his very convincing emotional performance, he gave everyone outside the Transgender-Homosexual Rights movement permission to suspect and disbelieve anyone who claims to be offended. But there is an even bigger problem: Heterosexual parents already recognize those kinds of emotional outbursts as phony—because their own children perform with those phony emotional outbursts all the time. Homosexuals don’t have biologically natural children by definition. Accordingly, very few of them would know how to recognize that “gay” (though unhappy) lying pastor looks like just another whining child who didn’t grow up and is willing to tell any fib and shed any amount of phony tears to get his way. He and those like him don’t have the personal life experience to know how obvious their phony performance is to the rest of us.

To quote Laura Ingraham on Congress’ response to the 2005 “build a fence” complaints from the public, “Perhaps they fell in love with their own rhetoric and forgot how it sounds to everyone else.”

Why would anyone lie about an injury? He raised questions about whether his cause is legitimate in the first place. And, now, that “crying, sobbing, ‘bloody-murder'” trump card can’t ever be played again. Whenever people that performance, they will be reminded of “the birthday cake”. By lying about an offense, he gave more power to his opposition than he knows.

At this rate, how can revival not return to America!?

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Faux Report

Tree That Resembles Nude Woman Will Reportedly Get You Pregnant If You Touch It

tree

BILLINGS, North Carolina – 

A tree that has stood in the Westfield Park in Billings, North Carolina for over 80 years is reportedly one of the most incredible trees in the world. While most trees just give life through oxygen, this specific tree can apparently give a completely different kind of life, as women who have visited and touched the tree have reported immediate instance of pregnancy.

“It was the strangest thing, honestly,” said Marsha Smith, 22. “My boyfriend and I visited the tree, and we were sitting underneath. He commented how crazy it was that it looked like a nude woman, and that he was strangely turned on by it. One thing lead to another, and we went at it right there under the tree. Anyway, before we left, I walked over and put my hand on the tree, and a few weeks later I found out I was pregnant!”

Other women have also reported that they too were impregnated by the tree, which locals have dubbed “The Tree of Life.”

“I went up to the Tree of Life, and I touched her and said a silent prayer that maybe I could get pregnant,” said Eileen Dover, 24. “My husband and I had been trying for over a year, and no go. I went home that day and felt a little ill, so I took a pregnancy test, and it was positive. My husband and I hadn’t had sex in like a week, so I know it wasn’t him that got me pregnant. Sperm doesn’t last that long in your body, so it was truly a miracle!”

Researchers say that the tree itself is probably not magical in any way, and that women just need to better understand how babies are made.

 

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