Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, January 25, 2021

Whew! That was an intense week. We have no idea how close we came to martial law, which Trump did not declare because he is not the monster some think him to be. In the future, we may discover just how close we came, but those facts will hide from the history books for a little while longer.

Now, we see things much more important.

For all his flaws, Trump saved the world, and America itself, from America’s messiah complex, which compels us to “help” the rest of the world—even before helping ourselves survive—even when our so-called “help” only injures. Thanks to Trump alone, we stopped wasting so much money on so much uninvited meddling. But, Republicans and Democrats throughout government could not allow Trump to continue because saving the world meant saving the world from them.

Now, Trump faces a Senate trial to remove him from an office he no longer holds, as a shepherd brought before before a judge and jury of wolves.

So much for Washington hating witch hunts! His opposition criticized him for his tone—something they regard as more important than being the first president to get out of other countries’ business. But, when the so-called “moderates” don’t get their way, they become more angry than they blame Trump and everyone else of being. Frank Luntz gave us a perfect demonstration when he harshly scolded his own focus group. What would Luntz have said if Trump even once used half the critical tone Luntz did? These self-appointed ambassadors of bipartisanship can no longer lecture the nation about how to create peace which they themselves sabotage.

America is spiraling toward a long-awaited chaos. It’s well-deserved. Even if Trump had tried to handle the pneumonia virus as Taiwan did, his own base would have revolted. Everyone either over-reacted or acted like there was no outbreak at all. The Taiwanese did neither, yet Americans blame Trump for riding a pendulum Americans themselves won’t get off of.

Ending wars was nice while it lasted. But, just enough people found their excuse to get back to nasty business as usual.

No less than five state legislatures held all-day hearings, receiving evidence and testimony of voter fraud like we have never seen before. Elections don’t need to be proven fraudulent; they need to be proven trustworthy, and this one can’t be. Nonetheless, those same legislatures approved a more-than-reasonably doubtful election of their opposition, as did the US Senate. They constitutionally and lawfully ignored the people and according to rules installed a president statistically proven to be against the will of the people. We saw further evidence of this in the overwhelming dislikes on White House YouTube videos. Though he is the legitimate president under the Constitution, such a president cannot govern. And, such a feckless opposition party cannot remain solvent.

While martial law came close during Trump’s final days, it is a certainty under Biden. That is the only way he could remain in an office he legally and allowably stole with the aid of a treacherous Republican Party. While Republican loyalists would have tolerated martial law in Trump’s situation, Democratic loyalists already doubt both parties and refuse to vote, which is probably why Biden needed the election fraud network he boasted about on TV. The Democratic base quietly left their party before this election. The Republican base loudly left their party after.

If things go as planned—which they won’t—the shadow running the Democratic machine won’t seek to remove Biden until his third year. That way Obama’s vicar Harris can enjoy ten years as president through a political machine of future fake elections. Others may speculate an attempt to remove Biden within weeks. Either way, Biden may have to declare martial law sooner than planned. Then, both parties will have loudly lost solvency. Third party, here we come.

Trump

Members are quitting ‘sad’ Mar-a-Lago after Trump loses // CNN

Last speech from White House
President Trump gives a farewell address to the American people // YouTube @ Fox News

Trump’s farewell speech has warning on Biden tax hikes // Fox Business

Donald Trump delivers his last speech as U.S. President // YouTube @ WION

Can Trump Issue Secret Pocket Pardons for self, family? // Mediaite

Donald Trump pardons: Steve Bannon, Elliott Broidy, Kwame Kilpatrick // USA Today

Trump’s last-minute pardons include Bannon, Lil Wayne and scores of others // CNN

Donald Trump plans to end his presidency at Mar-a-Lago in Florida // USA Today

Farewell address: Trump stresses record, condemns Capitol riot, does not name Biden // USA Today

Poll: Republican support for convicting Trump in Senate growing // Politico

Trump to issue around 100 pardons and commutations Tuesday, sources say // CNN

Obama Biden Harris

3x dislikes
President Biden Swears In Day One Presidential Appointees in a Virtual Ceremony // YouTube @ The White House

4x dislikes
The Inauguration of the 46th President of the United States // YouTube @ The White House

Already critical
Joe Biden’s proposed stimulus checks are a lousy way to fix the economy // CNN

Biden to sign executive orders rejoining Paris climate accord and rescinding travel ban on first day // CNN

Election

Sidney Powell withdraws ‘kraken’ lawsuit in Georgia // The Hill

Biden Transition Approval Remains High at 68% // Gallup

Congress

Your next stimulus check — for $1,400 — will move closer this week // Yahoo News

White House

Biden signs executive orders on stimulus checks, food stamps and minimum wage // CBS News

Washington as Usual

Third Party Politics

What are the chances of a ‘Patriot’ party emerging? | Newsmax TV panel // YouTube @ Newsmax TV

WSJ: Trump Has Talked of Forming ‘Patriot’ Party // Newsmax

Republican Party Implosion

Fauci credits Biden for letting ‘the science speak’ as new administration puts focus on virus // Yahoo News

World Loves Biden But Is Losing Faith in the U.S., Survey Says // MSN News

Ex-GOP pollster Frank Luntz says ‘I don’t want to do this anymore’ after ‘unity’ themed focus group goes off the rails // MSN News

THE SWAMP: McCarthy Defends Liz Cheney After She Votes To Impeach Trump, Says She’ll Keep Conference Chair // National File

Ga. Republican files articles of impeachment against Pres. Biden // WMTV NBC 15 Madison, WI

‘A total failure’: The Proud Boys now mock Trump // Seattle Times

News Media, Journalism & Free speech

At Voice of America, a sweeping ouster of Trump officials on Biden’s first full day // NewsTimes

Security & Public Safety

Blocked from social media, extremists discuss turning to radios to plan attacks, FCC warns // CNN

Soc Media, Cybersecurity & Tech

Twitter Embroiled in New Child Porn Scandal as Lawsuit Claims They Defend Sick Content, Says It Doesn’t ‘Violate Policies’ // National File

Prices, Rates, Oil & Food

Bill Gates’ 20,000 acres in Nebraska help make him the top farmland owner in the U.S. // omaha.com

Gold Steadies Above December Low With Focus on Stimulus, Dollar // Bloomberg

Markets, Economy & GDP

Legendary investor Jeremy Grantham says Biden’s $1.9 trillion stimulus plan will make the stock market bubble even worse // Markets Insider

Pandemic

Biden requires international travelers to quarantine upon arrival to US // The Hill

Music & Entertainment

1.2 million people watch Eminem’s new video in two hours // Geo News

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, November 19, 2018

John Kelly's failure to book seats for the first lady on Airforce One, thereby creating security snafus and other logistic problems, was no mere oversight. A military man made White House chief of staff doesn't make security-logistic mistakes. Getting along with the first lady personally, then giving her a smaller staff than previous first ladies, refusing to promote her staff while promoting his own—all these were indications of something deeper.

Pacific Daily Times' Symphony suggested on September 10 that the "mole" who wrote the infamous, and since forgotten, "New York Times essay" fit the profile of someone like John Kelly. The clashes leading up to his rumored replacement fit the profile even more. Similarly, is a DHS chief performing poorly—another non-accident—, then Kelly clashing with security adviser John Bolton when Bolton criticized the poor performance. Try this hypothetical scenario: The essay author was in cahoots with other saboteurs; when a fellow saboteur was called-out, the saboteur naturally got defensive. Such a saboteur probably didn't storm out of the White House on October 18 from mere rage, but to perform apparently-needed damage control since his plans for sabotage were at risk. That scenario may not be true, but it would explain a lot. Does it seem all that strange that Kelly and the DHS chief he was so defensive of would both be on the radar for replacement?

Theories to fit the pieces together, however, are no more than theories. All we know from here is that a theory made Kelly's departure all too predictable and that, to know the rest, we'll just have to wait and see. Replacing a cabinet member should be easier with Governor Rick Scott having secured the fifty-second Republican seat in the Senate.

With rules of conduct in place for the White House press, it will be easier for reporters to have fair access to questions and easier for the White House to kick out reporters who want to take mic time from others. For suing the woman who worked at the White House who tried to take away the White House microphone from Jim Acosta—on camera—with no injury—when he wouldn't yield the floor to his peers—CNN and Acosta should be ashamed.

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, January 15, 2018

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSL7TIAeph0

This was the week of rouses and houses. Trump called a bipartisan meeting from Congress at the White House and, to the surprise of many, much of the meeting showed on video. Everyone seemed to get along. Viewers could see real, actual video of leaders in real, normal conversation. It was somewhat unusual and not the least bit jarring.

Then began the rouse and purported fake news. The Wall Street Journal is accused of reporting that Trump claims a good relationship with Kim Jong Un rather than that he would have a good relationship with Kim Jong Un. This was one of the more obvious misreports. Another included Trump speaking vulgarly about unfortunate nations in his bipartisan meeting at the White House.

While there is no recording of his comments to members of Congress, there is a recording of what Trump said to the Wall Street Journal, which so far has refused to change the disputed quote.

Whether Trump actually spoke the dirty word as reported is left up to a whosaidhesaidit argument on Capital Hill. The big change: Republicans actually spoke in Trump's defense, that he didn't use such words. That should be notoriety enough, when someone receives support from his own enemies.

Then, there was the rouse in Hawaii with a false invasion alarm. Don't worry, Hawaii will think through what any Product Manager worth half of his salt would have drawn-up for a product roadmap well in advance. They will make it harder to press the "panic" button and equip their system with a "cancel" button to turn off the panic. Of course, it was all an accident and a big misunderstanding, nothing anyone needs to lose a job over.

In fact, the slew of rouses that trailed after the video of the president getting along with leaders in Washington was all a complete and coincidental "aligning of the planets", such a celestial event that does happen in nature, such as blue moons and Halley's Comet, except that the unusual string of rouses itself doesn't seem to be worth covering in the press—at least not elsewhere.

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Faux Report

Trump’s Secret Addiction EXPOSED! How The President Has Gone BANKRUPT Over Secret Purchases

trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

President Trump has made a big deal about not showing his taxes, trying desperately to hide his actual income and net worth from the public. The reason why, many have speculated, is that he not only has cheated on his taxes, but that the forms would reveal how little he actually has in income. As it turns out, that is partially correct.

Although Trump has made a fortune selling his name and branding buildings, it was also recently discovered that the world’s most powerful leader is completely and totally flat broke.

“The President has a rather extreme, but somewhat relatable addiction to buying and collecting movies,” said a source from inside the White House. “I know that seems kind of bizarre, but Trump is like a big man-child, and his love of movies is vast. He has dedicated an entire wing of the White House to his DVD and Blu-ray collection. He has approximately 89,000 movies. It’s a full time job for a team of 3 people to organize and alphabetize his collection.”

According to the source, Trump spends nearly $30 million a year on his movie collection, and lately that number has increased, as he spends more and more on high-priced, out of print collectible copies, and on newer and more expensive titles, such as those that are being released in 4K high definition. For someone who was reportedly worth billions only a decade ago, the collection has slowly killed his net worth.

“The President has a problem, and it’s coming to a point where someone needs to have an intervention with him, but no one knows how,” said the source. “He’s out of control. On Black Friday, where sales are at their best, he went out and bought almost 100 new movies in one day. Then, just because that kick-started the buying bug, he ordered another 270 movies on Cyber Monday. The guy has a problem, and it’s killing us all.”

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Faux Report

Trump Welcomes Ku Klux Klan to White House, Burns Cross in Back Yard

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

President Trump welcomed a dozen members of the notorious white-power group, the Ku Klux Klan, to the White House on Sunday night.

The group reportedly were invited so that President Trump could “discuss the future” with them. They were also all treated to a tour of the White House, a gourmet dinner, and a cross burning in the back lawn area of the White House.

“You know, this house was built using slave labor, which to me, is the best kind of labor, because it’s free,” said Trump to the laughing klansman.

According to reports, the group partied late into the evening, and Trump had a private escort drive the Klan members to a private airfield at around 4 a.m. Monday morning.

When asked what the “future” might hold for the KKK, Trump simply said that he was trying to offer a friendly hand to open discussions.

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, August 7, 2017

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DZSR0RJ1uQ

Smoke is clearing and the lines are being drawn. First Sessions is in, then he's out, then back in again. Democrats quickly supported Trump's nominee, FBI Director Christopher Wray. Yet, Trump is always about to be "finished this time", oops, wait, not this time, but "next time for sure". The DOJ is going after the press to crackdown on leakers, or well, not quite exactly. Greenspan finally figured out how to have an opinion on the economy, or maybe not; it was just "irrational exuberance", again. Would he be surprised if the market cracked? No. Would he be surprised if the market didn't crack for a while? No. The stories change, or not, all depending on the day of the week.

Sheriff Joe could be in trouble for profiling illegals before he caught them, but expect a pardon from Trump if Joe Arpaio only detained illegal immigrants. A pardon for Sheriff Joe could even lead to renewed popular support for mild profiling as a way of "softening" security screening in many venues, not just with immigration, but also with airport security and others. If Joe Arpaio hit his mark, there is no way the Trump administration would turn a blind eye.

The feds and the States are clashing over procedures. Democratic-controlled States are learning to assert "States rights", a position usually reserved for Conservatives. Still sanctuary cities aren't as easy to pull off as they once were.

New Chief of Staff Kelly is laying down the law, implementing procedures that should be expected in any White House. Reince Priebus not having implemented such rules restricting Oval Office access begs questions about Republican Party infighting, that as RNC Chairman he may have caught a contagious "smile and ignore the chaos" bug.

The economy is up, for now. Bible studies are starting at the White House. Hannity is making a "Christian" movie. MSNBC is pounding Fox News in ratings. Apple gave in to China's demands to remove VPN support apps; some think this will have "capitulation" backlash and hurt Apple's business in its second-largest market to the US. Maryland is thinking about letting non-citizens vote in local elections, but not national or State. Then, there's the transgender issue...

Trump never said the US military would not protect transgenders; he said, mostly, that they were too burdensome to do the protecting. People oppose Trump's decision, arguing it is a violation of their "rights". Usually people who serve their countries in uniform seek to lay down their rights to preserve the rights of others. Transgenders will still be protected by the US Armed Services, along with everyone else on the shores of America. The US situation is certainly better than in Thailand, where all transgenders are expected to appear for military draft physical exams. Perhaps transgenders could start the "trans-corps", as minorities overlooked for military service in the past have. But, putting anything high-maintenance in the military isn't an option for lean-steam Trump. If transgenders force the issue, they could alienate themselves further and lose ground.

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Faux Report

President Trump Has Invited O.J. Simpson To Visit The White House Upon His Release – You Won’t Believe Why!

simpsontrump

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

President Trump has said that he plans to have convicted felon O.J. Simpson to the White House upon his release from prison, which should be sometime in October. Simpson, who has been in prison for nearly 9 years, is reportedly a “good friend” of the President, and Trump has said he has a “special job” for the former NFL superstar and comic actor.

“The Juice and I, we go way, way back, and now that he’s getting out, I want to make sure he knows that he will always have a friend here, so I am going to give him a full pardon, and offer him a job on my staff,” said Trump.

The President said he plans to completely wipe away Simpson’s prison record, which means he would not have any sort of parole specifications he has to meet, and would be as free as anyone else.

“I hope to offer O.J. a job as my personal assistant within the White House,” said Trump. “I strongly believe that it is something he would be great at. I have a lot of special assignments for him.”

 

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Faux Report

President Trump To Move White House to Las Vegas

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

Donald Trump has made plans to officially move the White House from Washington, D.C. to Las Vegas, where he owns property and says that the taxes are “much more manageable.”

“Moving the White House to Las Vegas will save tax payers an estimated $20 million a year, as the land values are much lower in the desert,” said Trump. “I am working with the best planners, the best men out there, to move the White House safely and securely.”

There is no word on whether Las Vegas will become our nation’s capital after the White House is relocated, but Trump did say that he wouldn’t personally have any problem with that.

“There’s a lot of money in Las Vegas, and a lot of beautiful women. We’d be lucky to have Las Vegas be our nation’s capital. It’s a beautiful, fun, fast-paced city, and everyone who goes there loves it. I love it. I own plenty of property there. It’s great. Plus, what happens there stays there, so we could get away with a lot more there than we could here in D.C.”

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, February 27, 2017

Because haters are allowed to hate, certain things need to be said.

This is not any endorsement of pedophilia nor any recommendation that pedophilia laws be loosened.

This is a prediction.

Anything bad will increase when it is confronted with hate. Secretary Flynn’s conversations were reported to Trump the wrong way, by both Flynn and the press. He lost his job, some major networks were uninvited to an unofficial press “gaggle”, the same work continued, and unified complaints of the press and the dissidents backfired into more support for Trump and Flynn’s work. This week, the same media sought to make headlines concerning Milo Yiannopoulos.

The video version going viral (seen on The Providence,  but also others) makes accusations about “protecting” a criminal by not giving a name. The same presumption—in the video, in the media’s response, and in what happened with Flynn—is that “telling the press” is how to report a crime. Actually, “protecting a criminal” involves withholding names when asked by police. Informing the public through the press before informing the proper authorities of a crime could suggest defamation or even interference with police work. Milo can’t accuse anyone of a crime without proof. A small press interview is not the place to ask for a criminal to be named—unless the interviewer wants to obstruct the due process of law.

Many sex crime cases are difficult to prove in court, even with evidence. And, even with evidence, telling the press can lead to a mistrial. Telling anyone about a crime without evidence can lead to defamation charges. Milo wasn’t “protecting criminals” merely on account of not giving names to a curious podcast host, no matter how many podcast hosts might like to think so.

Over the last few weeks, the press has demonstrated a flamboyantly inflated view of itself, even in other areas. Mainstream voices in the news media think they are the authorities on anything they talk about. Take Chris Wallace’ interview with Reince Priebus for instance. No one is trying to tell the media what to do, but the media consistently tries to tell the country what to do—they try to boss everyone, from the voters to the president. When the president turns away press agencies with declining viewership, at unofficial meetings, the press cries about the country being under assault. The country is under assault, the question is, “From whom?”. The problem runs far deeper than a red-blue color pallet can render.

Back to Milo and pedophilia—exploiting Milo’s bad remarks in this way will ripple a dangerous effect. He did make overly-sexualized remarks, as he often does. He did come across as if his story motivates his attention-grabbing manner. As a journalist and senior editor attempting to explain many sides of a big problemMilo dispassionately attempts to introduce the complex problems of sexual relations—a topic that encyclopedias couldn’t contain; there is no way that can’t sound like an endorsement to people who are largely unfamiliar with the horrid things that happen behind closed doors. He was careless, crass, and should have been more aware of how people would react. But far more importantly than the right or wrong of Milo’s character assassination, as we saw in this past election, all press is positive press.

Shock-value reporting of sex outside marriage preceded rampant sex outside marriage. Shock-value reporting of homosexuals preceded legalization of homosexual marriage. This time, the press is reporting with shock-value a discussion on “endorsing pedophilia”. Guess what is going to eventually happen anyway, no matter what is said about what is said anyway.

“Coming out of the closet” as a homosexual has nearly reached its peak of headline-power. Now, when people announce that they are homosexual, the presses don’t stop anymore. But, the press loves to stop for the capital “P” word almost as much as people love to hate to read it in headlines. Thanks to this “whatever-we-call-it” gaggle episode with Milo and CPAC and resigning from Breitbart, the new thing to talk about won’t start with an “H” or an “L” or a “G” or a “B” or a “T” or a “Q”, it will start with a “P”.

Many people will identify with Milo, in both his past and how he is a spicy-sweet blend that can never be perfectly understood. His support will grow. His new media group will take off. His re-negotiated book, with likely extra chapter, will sell more copies. Many people will announce that they have secretly had the same thing happen to them, but were afraid to speak out, until now. Children will learn another new word at an early age. And, eventually as unfortunately, from the topic getting such attention in the press, pedophilia will unfortunately increase to a point where, unfortunately, sex laws could be changed by a popular vote.

And, the press’ hunt for hate didn’t help to stop the spread. The remaining question is whether the press is just ignorant of its unbiased power to endorse everything it reports as good or bad, or if the eventual outcome was what agents of the press wanted from the beginning. Changing laws about sex sure has sold a lot of newspapers. But, only God knows the intentions of the heart. That’s true of the press, just as it is true of us all.

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Faux Report

Hillary Clinton Calls Bernie Sanders A ‘Fag Lover’ During NY Debate

sandersclinton

NEW YORK CITY, New York – 

During a heated debate in New York, democratic front-runners Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders had few things to say to each other that were pleasant, with Sanders being voted as the ‘winner’ of the debate in online polls, and Clinton being called the victor by TV talking heads.

What the talking heads seem to ignore, but what the internet is in a firestorm over, is Clinton’s use of a sarcastic, vile slur that was hurled at Sanders when she thought the mics were not on. According to people sitting in the front row of the debate, during a commercial break, Clinton leaned over to Sanders, and whispered that she would never let a “socialist fag-lover” like him win the election.

“If you think that I’m going to let a socialist fag-lover like you win this election, you’re out of your mind,” said Clinton allegedly, according to those in attendance.

Sanders, true to form as a gentleman and the more secure candidate, has refused to comment or confirm that Clinton said anything negative towards him, or used any sort of slur during the debates.

“Hillary Clinton is a fine woman who would make a great leader of this country if she had more experience,” said Sanders. “I am proud to love all people, of all races, creed, color, or orientation. That’s who I am, and that’s what I’m taking to the White House.”

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Faux Report

Donald Trump’s Wife Melania Is Revealed To Be Sex Robot

melania

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

Technology has advanced well beyond what most of us would have ever dreamed up. Between the supercomputers in our pockets to Google’s self-driving cars, we live in an age of wonder. Japan has been at the forefront of another technology for many years in the form of sex robots, or uber-realistic robots that can be used for sexual pleasure and, frankly, not much else.

It has recently been discovered that Donald Trump’s wife, Melania Trump, to whom the Donald has been married for the last 10 years, is actually a lab-created robot who was built for the Republican candidate on special order.

“She is beautiful, charming, and she’s an amazing lay,” said The Donald to a group of supporters, recently. “No woman in her right mind would be with me with those atributes. Not even with my wealth and power. I know that – I’m not as dumb as the media makes me out to be. No, instead, I had the best engineers in Japan build Melania for me in a lab. She is 100% to my specifications.”

Trump says that the best part about having a sex robot for a wife is that they “always give it up” when you want it, and it’s not even rape, because they’re not people.

“They also can’t get pregnant, which is fantastic, because no one likes pulling out, that’s for sure,” said Donald. “This model will be good on these batteries until long after I’m dead. It’s truly a marvel of modern technology.”

If Trump wins the presidency, then Melania will be the first sex robot to become the first lady, as well as the first straight sex-machine to sleep in the Lincoln bedroom since Marilyn Monroe had her affair with JFK.

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Faux Report

Jeb Bush Says He Will Use Remaining Campaign Contributions To Buy Yacht, Sail Around The World

Jeb Bush Touted to Launch Presidential Bid; Expected to Release Video for Public to Mock

DALLAS, Texas – 

Former presidential candidate Jeb Bush has dropped out of the campaign race this year, after finally coming to the realization that he didn’t have a chance in hell of winning even the part nomination, let alone a seat in the White House.

Bush says that he will use the remaining money in his campaign fund, approximately $4 million, and buy a yacht, with plans to sail around the world.

“Normally I wouldn’t waste campaign money on something so frivolous,” said Bush. “I appreciate every person and company who, for some reason, had the bad foresight to donate to my campaign. Instead of using that money to support another candidate or give back, what I’ve decided is that I need a nice, long cruise around the world on a new yacht. I’ve already picked it out, and I’ve named it Queen Barbara, after my momma.”

Bush says that he plans to set sail in August, with hopes of “missing the end of the election completely.”

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Faux Report

Obama Breaks Tradition, Removes Menorah From White House During Hanukkah

obama christmas

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

For over 200 years, a Menorah has been lit each night of the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah in the White House, despite no president ever being Jewish. This year, though, President Obama has ordered that the Menorah be removed, and that none be brought in throughout the building’s many offices.

“This is a joyous time for families, and a time to remember the love and faith we all share by celebrating with gift giving and togetherness,” said Obama from inside the White House. “We have a Christmas tree in the White House, and that is enough. We are an all inclusive country, but let’s not forget, that this is also my home, and I celebrate Christmas.”

Many people have protested the president’s decision, although he says that there is no reason to change now.

“Hanukkah has already started, and we didn’t light any candles, so there’s no reason to get all up in arms over it,” said Obama. “Next year, you’ll have a new president at this time, and he can have the Hanukkah traditions or not, I really don’t care. Since it will probably be Trump, and he’s a full-blown racist, you probably won’t get anything in the White House.”

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Faux Report

Obama’s White House Thanksgiving Dinner Reportedly Only Allowed Black Guests, Only White Servers

white house dinner

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

According to reports from the White House, the president’s annual Thanksgiving dinner was serviced entirely but white waiters and waitresses, and invitations were sent only to African-Americans, calling some to cry reverse racism.

“I don’t see the problem here,” said President Obama. “All the wait staff were paid incredible wages. They all got to take home the leftovers. All the guests paid to be here, with all the money going to charity. No one seemed hurt by the fact that it was all my black homies at the dinner being served by a bunch of crackers, lease of all the whiteys themselves.”

Republicans who are critical of Obama say that having such a sordid event in the White House only seemed to further the President’s bad name.

“If he had included a couple Mexicans or something at the dinner, then it might not have been so obvious and so brash,” said white Republican Jon Smith. “But, making the dinner an exclusively black affair and then forcing white people to slave away like that? It’s disgusting.”

For his part, Obama said that it really wasn’t done on purpose, it’s just that white people were the only one cleared to be allowed to work in the White House.

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