Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, April 20, 2020

The pneumoniavirus’s biggest casualty is Democratic politics. As the party of ostensibly “helping people”, Democratic governors gambled that “taking action” would sway public opinion in their direction. Michigan, Minnesota, and Virginia governors did not need to create the greatest restrictions among the States. But, their Democratic Party’s moral compass guided them there. They might have added a dose or two of theatrics—especially understandable when one is in the DNC spotlight for the VP candidacy; clear your throat while saying, “Michigan.”

It is a fascinating turn of the usual pendulum: States stepping on Constitutional rights while the Federal government defends them, all the while, States calling for more Federal powers while they object to the Federal powers stopping them.

The other factor is kookery. Since when did young Democratic voters, especially Sanders supporters, trust numbers put out by a Republican-controlled Federal government? Requirements for deciding “cause of death” do not include a diagnosis of disease, yet a disease is being declared the cause of death for many who have not been diagnosed. Those numbers come from a Republican-controlled Federal government, then Democratic voters enshrine those numbers to support Democratic governors’ action.

What numbers are made-up and what is real remains another question that can’t be answered now. The big takeaway is a meltdown in the Democratic voter base. Their justification of numbers doesn’t make sense, nor does their idea that steps toward martial law will be popular. We could be looking at an even greater, greater Republican victory this November. That’s interesting since the reported number of pneumoniavirus deaths hasn’t come close to the number of abortions.

Trump

Roger Stone denied new trial; gag order lifted // CNN

Oh Thank God: Trump Appoints Ivanka and Jared to Council to Reopen America // Vanity Fair

Federal System

U.S. coronavirus crisis takes a sharp political turn // Yahoo News

State & Local

Defiant healthcare workers clash with anti-lockdown protesters in Colorado // Daily Mail

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott says schools to remain closed for rest of academic year but eases some coronavirus restrictions // Dallas Morning News

Michigan manbaby protest: Wait, we thought conservatives were ‘rugged individuals’ // Salon

US in the UN

Trump announces formal freeze on WHO funding, pending an investigation // STAT

What you need to know about Trump’s suspension of WHO funding // Quartz

Global condemnation of Trump’s decision to suspend WHO funding during pandemic // Times of Israel

Trump’s Call To Suspend U.S. Funds For WHO: How Would It Affect Efforts To Fight The Coronavirus? // NPR

Prices, Rates, Oil & Food

Rep. Doug Collins on bringing the supply chain back to the US // YouTube @ Fox Business

Science, Weather & Health

U.S. coronavirus death toll passes 35,000, cases top 700,000 // Yahoo News

Wild animals are reclaiming cities during coronavirus lockdown // NY Post

Stanford study suggests coronavirus is more widespread than realized // The Spectator

Coronavirus began months earlier and not in Wuhan, bombshell UK report claims // Daily Star

No plan in sight: Test troubles cloud Trump recovery effort // AP

 

Standard
Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, April 6, 2020

Conspiracy theories fly. That’s to be expected when the whole world is told to stay home. Some say 5G is the killer. Though suspicious as interesting, that doesn’t explain everything. The more disturbing part is that the video was censored by Facebook and, reportedly, YouTube. Elsewhere, people are reporting empty hospitals around the world, contrary to reports by big news media. Most disturbing of all was the decision for governors to close schools, which runs against common sense. Consider an article published by AAPS in which a doctor from Cadillac, Michigan explains that keeping schools open would have had the best affect on containment.

Public panic and shutting down the economy by closing the schools that would have slowed viral spread aside, look how the greater damage from overreacting is helping in other ways.

Trump only grows in popularity. Michigan’s governor is in the spotlight and will be a likely pick for a typical establishment Democratic VP candidate come November. If she runs, the voters in Michigan she unemployed may vote against her in the general election. If that happens, she would likely be a one-term governor, facing a double loss like Scott Walker did after he lost in the 2016 presidential primaries.

More importantly, unexpected things are shifting. Businesses are forced to reinvent. While the masses go into panic mode, money is moving toward those who keep calm and level heads.

Russianewsgategate

FISA court orders DOJ to review flawed surveillance applications and provide names of targets // WA Examiner

Trump fires intelligence community watchdog who told Congress about whistleblower complaint that led to impeachment // CNN

DOJ’s FISA report contradicts claims by Dems, media figures that surveillance rules were strictly observed // Fox News

Election

Next failed VP candidate?
Michigan Gov. Whitmer slammed by home state paper for allegedly playing politics in middle of coronavirus crisis // Fox News

Biden confirms he’s considering Whitmer for VP // The Hill

White House

IRS Gives Stimulus Check Distribution Details, Says Payments To Begin Within Three Weeks // Forbes

Washington as Usual

State & Local

Why these 8 Republican governors are holding out on statewide stay-at-home orders // CNN

Here are the states restricting travel from within the US // CNN

News Media, Journalism & Free speech

MSNBC treads water during jam-packed news quarter, fails to add viewers // Fox News

Prices, Rates, Oil & Food

U.S. dairy farmers dump milk as pandemic upends food markets // Yahoo News

Feds direct airlines to refund passengers for canceled flights // CNN

Science, Weather & Health

Censored: nCoV caused by 5G – Truth or Lie? // BitChute

Hoax? If not, what?
Citizen reporters go out and do what the media won’t! (empty hospitals) // YouTube @ Didi Vanh

Sobriety from a doctor
Coronavirus COVID-19: Public Health Apocalypse or Panic and Anti-American? // AAPS

Put your own mask on first
3M is selling lifesaving PPE to foreign countries over US: Florida Official // YouTube @ Fox News

US freezes shipments of protective gear overseas // CNN

Coronavirus: US ‘considers cloth face masks for public’ // BBC News

Why People Aren’t Listening to Experts About Face Masks // TIME

 

Standard
Letters

My Family’s Current Plan

“How do I get my body working better without spending much?”

I AM NOT A DOCTOR.

I AM NOT FINANCIALLY COMPENSATED FOR ANY OF THE FOLLOWING.

I have created an Amazon Wishlist for you to easily find the products I recommend so you can get them into your home as soon as possible. I’m convinced these items should help us clean our bodies of old, settled problem contaminants, while decreasing the daily amount we consume/inhale/absorb.

AMAZON WISHLIST CLICK BELOW LINK

http://a.co/0VYY0dc        <--- CLICK

AMAZON WISHLIST CLICK ABOVE LINK

I created an Amazon Wishlist with three purposes (I make NO MONEY from purchases made):
First; an easy reference of items I highly recommend for those looking to make a purchase for personal use.

Second; for those generous enough to donate, so I can more easily help people in the community (without it becoming a financial burdon on my family). I love helping people. I'm obsessed with helping people. My unique life story has placed me in this place in time where I am able to help. I'd love to have a few of these items stored at my home to hand over to the folks wanting to make changes, but are too negatively altered by the toxins, which has led them to a point in life when they aren't able to help themselves (mentally and/or financially). Sometimes one person showing they care is all an ill person needs to begin healing. If you donate, that will be at least two of us (and I'll be sure to let them know). I'd love to be able offer more than information and a shoulder to cry on as the realizations sweep over their faces. If you can only afford yourself, please do not financially burdon yourself to add to my giveaway pile. Care for you. The whole, "Put your face mask on before you try to help another" applies here. Continue choosing your health first and your bank account will eventually follow suit... then I'd love a donation. Pass on the goodness only when/if you're able.

Third; to continue my education on the topic, including reference material, monitors, testing kits, etc. I would use the testing kits and monitors around the local area and teach based on what I find. I always do my best to find the best deal. Often the items I've added here cost 3-4 times LESS what I find on typical sites (or what is first suggested). Thanks for your time, either way! I appreciate your interest in my passion project. (I do not make any percentage profit from these purchases.)

 

  

This is the product I think is worth the most bang for your buck.
Installation takes a few minutes.
Results our house has noticed in the 12 hours since installation:
Water flow NOT slowed.
My 6 year old’s hair has never been so soft (after ONE bath!).
Brushing went from rat nests to a couple of tangles.
All of our hair lightened a full shade (similar to natural sun bleaching)

Update: It's been six weeks and all of the above is still going great!!! Water pressure has NOT SLOWED. I am beginning to notice some bronzing in my hair (NOTHING LIKE BEFORE THE FILTER), which tells me it's not working at full capacity anymore, so I will likely replace in the next week or two and then move the used filter to our washing machine inlet.

The filter says it should be replaced every 6 months. At this price, that’s no problem here!!!

We will also put one on the end of the hose this summer (small pool and vegetable gardens). Both of these non-showerhead options will likely need a simple/cheap metal adaptor piece, but neither of those would cost more than $10.

I recommend this to you IF you currently live in the areas from the Mackinac Bridge to Kalamazoo and your home is drawing water from a ground source. The city/town water treatment plants do so much, I have no idea if the chemicals already added would be okay in this filter. Some day I may look into this, but for now, definitely on the back burner. However, I have some non-water recommendations too. Future posts will still be of interest to you. Don't leave me just because you drink city water.

The ingredients most important to me in this purchase were KFD 55 and Activated Charcoal. The other sections were a bonus.

 

Aztec Healing Clay $10

 

 

It removes toxins on the surface of your skin, or just near the surface. The uses are many, though.

 

 

 

I’m using it as a mask after mixing with apple cider vinegar (for best results). My 6 year old uses water to mix (also recommended on the directions) because she can't stand the apple cider vinegar smell. She loves the foot massages I give her with it.
Physical changes I notice:  My skin is tighter and wrinkles aren’t so pronounced.
Help's "draw out" infections/toxins in wounds that won’t heal without assistance. Surprisingly, the vinegar doesn't burn even in wounds (I avoid antibiotics at all costs, so I try this before ever going to the doctor).
I use it dry, in tiny amounts on my roots/scalp as a dry shampoo.

 

 

 

Lifestyle Options
Remain active (I know the struggle is real)  or the funky water that makes us so sick will settle in your lymph nodes, creating havoc. The key is to keep what’s in our bodies on the move so they can leave our bodies (pee and poop).
Drink the water you’ve filtered out of glass jars. Plastic puts many of the nasty chemicals back in our beverages when the plastic starts to degrade. This degradation happens easily. Simply because big companies bottle in plastic, that does not mean it’s safe for us. It means it’s cost effective and accepted by the consumer. Accept it no more!
Eat fresh cilantro. The lipids in it bind to those nasty chemicals, and then we poop it out! The key is to be active and hydrated if you’d like to remove the old built up stuff. Eating cilantro, without proper activity and hydration is still going to help remove whatever stuff it runs into along your digestive path.
Visit Clinton Zimmerman, CTN, and owner of Red Fox in Big Rapids, MI. A few months ago I was at a point in my research when I couldn’t find anybody who understood what I was talking about. He was the VERY FIRST person who understood why I see this as something vital for our community to understand. Thankfully, he has a health store, where he takes appointments. He does not accept insurance and charges $100 for an hour of his time. During that time, it’s up to you and him about what will best help you. The services he offers seem endless. He is an amazing person for you to follow up with beyond the simple, huge impact solutions I’ve recommended above. I am confident in his comprehension of the problem and was relieved he had more solutions than “filter your water.” The solutions he recommends for almost everybody in this area will cost you under $30. We’re beyond lucky to have such an amazing resource in our community. continue reading

Standard
Letters

PBB Contamination 101

The Walking Dead has opened my eyes to what happened to America’s culture in a way I never expected.
“The decision was made a long time ago. Before any of us knew each other. We were all strangers who would have just passed each other on the street before the world ended. But now we mean everything to each other. You were in trouble. You were trapped. Glenn didn’t know you but he helped you. He put himself in danger for you. And that started it all.” From Atlanta, to my daddy’s farm, to the prison, to here. To this moment now - not as strangers; as family - because Glenn chose to be there for you, that day a long time ago - that was the decision that changed everything. It started with both of you and it just grew, all of this: to sacrifice for each other, to suffer and stand, to grieve, to give, to love, to live, to fight for each other. Glenn made the decision, Rick. I was just following his lead.” - Maggie at the hilltop

So, here it starts, with me and you (you’re reading this, aren’t you!?). The movement of getting back to good can begin now. We’re all desperate for answers and to wake in the morning without limping from joint pain. I think I have figured it out and I am beyond excited to share with all of you. I will not profit from you all getting better. This is not a business I’m creating. This is not a pyramid thing. This is me, using my chemistry background, to dig through the articles full of technical lingo, to simplify it, so you can begin healing, mentally and physically.
I may not know you as well as I did in second grade, but I remember the joy you brought me. You are good. No person is born “misbehaving.” For at least the past twenty years, we have only had to reach out to one another on occasion; school gatherings, weddings, funerals, fundraiser event for those who couldn’t pay their hospital bills, and the subsequent decrease in pay from whatever caused them to visit the hospital in the first place. Oh… and at our jobs. I see you at yours. You see me at mine. There are many who come to me looking for advice, but I feel like a failure. At so many things. I look up to every person I come across. We all fight our own battles, and I thank you for showing up in mine, whether you were a protagonist or antagonist. I am here. I am happy. I am confident. I love. I am loved. I am a mother. There is no better love. I use it as a gauge of how to treat myself; with the same patience I show my daughter.

Take in a breath.
We don’t have to agree about EVERYTHING.
It can’t be about my opinion.
It can’t be about me.
It can’t be about you.
It can’t be about religion.
It’s not about politics.
It is about humanity.
How do we move forward now that we are so separated?
I imagine when “America was great” and I think of unity.
I think of both of my grandparents’ farms and their neighbors.
There was one school house and a handful of families sending their children.
The tightly knit farming community all wanted their kids to get an education.
Education. Education. Education.
This was the path to our common goal.
Learn all you can from your family and community,
then fly the coop, but always stay in contact.
There’s a reason we need to stay in contact.
You can only learn from the past if you know it.
Know better, do better.
We need to get healthy.
We no longer need to blame ourselves.
It was never our fault.
It was never a lack of self control.
The data was lost or ignored.
The info is now available.
Thank you, internet.

So, I put myself in danger, simply publicizing my findings. There are certainly going to be people upset with what I expose. There are going to be a lot of feelings of guilt trying to come to the top; for not knowing sooner and then feeding our children things that were making them sick. For making ourselves sicker and sicker by having no idea what’s happening around us. Let that blame ALL go from your thought process. This information has been suppressed on purpose. I will post articles where those trying to control the “hysteria” claimed the side effects we would experience in the future were completely unknown. The side effects were known in the 1880s. I’m going to start my reporting in 1970, Michigan. Eventually, I will move back in time and expose more reasons for why we have experienced life as we have… but for now, I focus on 1973’s PBB Feed Contamination.

I will do my best, to remain focused on Mid-Michigan. Otherwise, the info will overwhelm us both and you’ll feel desperate and like there’s no end in sight.... but there is an end in sight and we can all get back to good.

Lesson #1 - What was the PBB Feed Contamination?
There is no need for me to rewrite about the PBB Feed Contamination. I’m not the first to realize the catastrophe this caused, across ALL of Michigan. The media on it is everywhere, though each one comes from a different angle, and exposes different information. You don’t need to know it all to get better, so choose your favorite/easiest method from the list below so you can “know better.” Know better. Do better.

Movie

Bitter Harvest ((1981) available on Amazon)

Non-Technical Articles

http://michiganradio.org/post/michigans-toxic-1973-pbb-food-contamination-associated-more-health-effects

http://www2.michfb.com/about/fbs_summary

Book

PBB: An American Tragedy, by Edwin Chen

 

  continue reading

Standard
Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, February 5, 2018

Machines are trying to take over. They aren't winning. And, they aren't mechanical machines made of steel and iron alloys—or in GM's case also aluminum. These are machines of "big money". Some of them are political, some of them are from the entertainment industry, others are in the business world.

Ultimately, the machines run round and round by creating problems, then solving them.

Nestle has been taking water from Springhill in Osceola County, Michigan for nearly two decades. Locals have battled with the water-relocating giant almost as long; the State often comes to Nestle's defense. We'll see how much longer that lasts. The current battle seems to include no third-party scientific research, only claims by locals that water levels are lowering vs claims by Nestle that Nestle isn't hurting anything and that local water costs would rise without Nestle—which is at the same time accused of causing the water shortage in the first place. It's almost a self-inditing argument in Nestle's defense. Now, Nestle wants to take more water.

Then, there's Uma. Perhaps "Kill Bill" should have been renamed to include something about a guy named "Harvey", at least if the title reflected the emotions of "what the movie advertisements called a 'roaring rampage of revenge'" from what happened on set and behind the scenes. To this point, Symphony has not focused on Weinstein stories because, so far, they didn't seem to include news. Uma's story in the New York Times, however, introduces the video of her injury during a stunt she was intimidated into doing. After 15 years, she finally got her hands on the video. Uma just might mark the beginning of Vol. 2 in brining down scandal-filled Hollywood.

Then, there's the machine that's after Trump. According to the president, it's a disgrace, people should be ashamed, and Congress will do what Congress will do, which is fine. Bias against Trump is "yuge". In one man-on-the-street video by Campus Reform, people react negatively to State of the Union comments—until they realize they were made by Obama. Democrats and the mainstream media can't halt the assault against Trump as long as that widespread bias against Trump exists in such a large segment of the voting population. But, that bias is driving the anti-Trump machine to uncover more and more dirt—not on Trump, but dirt—on Democrats.

While Nestle seems to solve problems it causes, the Left caused the problems it's solving. As for Hollywood, the movies describe it best.

continue reading

Standard
Faux Report

Michigan Welfare Changes Start in January – No More Soda, Chips, Candy, or Junk Food

michigan

DETROIT, Michigan – 

As of January 1st, major changes to the Michigan State Welfare Program will take effect, and the largest difference will be what people are allowed to buy with their food stamps.

According to changes in the welfare laws, Michigan residents will no longer be allowed to buy junk food, candy, soda, or anything the state has deemed to have “less than regular” nutritional value. The changes come after a study found that the number one purchase using food stamps were 2-liter bottles of Mountain Dew, followed closely by Doritos.

“The people of Michigan are fat, lazy, and useless. Most of them are living off the state as it is, and these welfare leeches need a drastic wakeup call,” said Michigan Senator Marc Collins. “These changes are for the good of the state. Health will improve, and people can stop draining our society and get back to work. They’re going to have to if they want Mountain Dew and potato chips.”

“This is some serious, extremely lame bullshit,” said welfare recipient Gary Gross. “I ain’t living off the welfare. I got a job. I work 11 hours a week, and that’s all they can give me. I bust my ass them 11 hours, too, but I need them food stamps to live. If I ain’t getting them, or ain’t able to buy soda and chips, then what’s the point of getting them? Am I supposed to buy steaks or something? Shit, you gotta cook those!”

Officially, the changes to the Welfare restrictions will take place January 14th, 2018, but state representatives are telling people to start buying healthier options as of January 1st.

Standard
Faux Report

Flint, Michigan Begins Having Tap Water Imported From Mexico

mexico

FLINT, Michigan – 

Residents of Flint, Michigan have begun having been having their water imported from other states for quite some time, as the situation of their own water has been disasterous. But now, some residents have begun looking even further away, and are having their water imported from across the border in Tijuana.

“Our water is so bad, that Mexican tap water looks like crystal-clear spring water in comparison,” said Flint resident Mario Jones. “I can get about 50 gallons of Mexican tap water for about $5, which is a lot cheaper than here. Sure, it still gives me the shits, but that’s par for the course now. At least it doesn’t look like sewage.”

Mexico has been grateful for the business, with several companies across the border saying that they thought they would NEVER have use for tap water.

“Our water, it was muy disgustingo,” said Pedro Martinez. “But when I heard about the hydro crisis in Flint, I thought it was a good idea to start up a new company, and get them the water that they need. So I fill up about 200 gallon bottles a week, and I drive them into Arizona, where it can be shipped much cheaper. It’s a great deal for me. My family has lots of extra pesos now.”

Standard
Faux Report

Flint, Michigan Begins Having Tap Water Imported From Mexico

mexico

FLINT, Michigan – 

Residents of Flint, Michigan have begun having been having their water imported from other states for quite some time, as the situation of their own water has been disasterous. But now, some residents have begun looking even further away, and are having their water imported from across the border in Tijuana.

“Our water is so bad, that Mexican tap water looks like crystal-clear spring water in comparison,” said Flint resident Mario Jones. “I can get about 50 gallons of Mexican tap water for about $5, which is a lot cheaper than here. Sure, it still gives me the shits, but that’s par for the course now. At least it doesn’t look like sewage.”

Mexico has been grateful for the business, with several companies across the border saying that they thought they would NEVER have use for tap water.

“Our water, it was muy disgustingo,” said Pedro Martinez. “But when I heard about the hydro crisis in Flint, I thought it was a good idea to start up a new company, and get them the water that they need. So I fill up about 200 gallon bottles a week, and I drive them into Arizona, where it can be shipped much cheaper. It’s a great deal for me. My family has lots of extra pesos now.”

Standard
Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, November 28, 2016

Hillary’s involvement in a bid to recount the election results will lead to her indictment. Before, her indictment was in question. Perhaps Trump would be “magnanimous” and not persecute his political opponent. That would make sense since political retribution is a can of worms that few want to open—except perhaps Hillary. Then again, no one is sure what she wants from this post-concession recount.

Chris Wallace proved his dated journalism nose once again; he asked the wrong candidate about accepting election results. He really expected the tables to be reversed. He questioned Trump based on his speculation of the vote rather than on the character of the candidates.

Of course Hillary would contest the results after she conceded to them. From her retributive, venomous, retaliatory mode of operation—even with every indication of magnanimity from Trump—she thought surely she would be indicted because that’s what she would do. While some speculate that Hillary hopes to sow doubt about Trump’s legitimacy and stir chaos in the nation, she’s just a wolf trapped in a corner who doesn’t seem to know that she is driving nails into her own political coffin.

Michigan and Wisconsin both could see intervention from their own legislatures and State Supreme Courts. The States could determine that the request for a recount came too late to be completed before the electoral college meets. The US Supreme Court would be divided and bounce decisions back to the States. Other speculations include Congress choosing the President and Vice President, but it is doubtful to even get that far. The States are about to display their power. America’s adversaries will quietly watch and that will make them respect America more than anything we will read in the headlines over the next eight years.

Fidel Castro died at 90 years old. He even said goodbye at the most recent Communist Party Congress. Cubans celebrated in the streets of Miami while Black Lives Matter mourned.

continue reading

Standard
Symphony

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

UT: Cruz 69% 40/40 Kasich 17% Trump 14%

AZ: Trump 47% 58/58 Cruz 25% Rubio 14% Kasich 10% Carson 3%

Politico Election

Fox Election

CNN Election

Michigan Board of Ed denies parents, doctors: Children choose own gender (Daily Caller)

Pediatricians: ‘Gender Identity’ choice = harm, child abuse (ACPEDS)

Video: Good Samaritan on LA Subway (Daily Caller)

Brussels, photos (Daily Mail)

Brussels was warned, 2 Senators a new miss (Bloomberg)

Pallet: No one could “see” blue color in ancient times | Facebook – Tech Insider

continue reading

Standard
Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, March 7, 2016

Wait… Did a former GOP nominee urge voters to not vote for someone who was asked to sign a pledge of party loyalty? If ears and eyes dost not deceive, then the GOP thinks loyalty is a one-way street.

Bernie supporters think that he has a chance. They have a “be positive, we can” attitude. They don’t seem to understand the mafia-style, backroom deal, secret money exchanges that affect elections. They really think that elections are about the best ideas and honest effort.

Trump continues to be misunderstood by journalists and establishment bosses. With Kansas and Maine taking the turn they did, with Ohio leaning for Kasich a strong 2nd, and with Michigan polls still settling, GOP primaries are far from over. With Trump not having Texas, and probably not Ohio, July will likely be a brokered convention. The best power choice would be to keep Cruz in the Senate with a Trump-Kasich ticket. The strong-vote choice would be a Trump-Cruz ticket, seating the failed 2012 VP behind Trump at the 2017 State of the Union next to the man who put him there. The establishment-game, if left unchanged, would deny both Trump and Cruz the ticket, leading to a likely four or five candidate election—if Trump goes third party, Cruz would probably also have been dejected, and Bernie would have another chance. America will get a front-row view of the wheeling and dealing of party politics, just as the party bosses get a balcony ticket to the response of the masses who won’t have it anymore.

It’s already time to grab a popcorn, a cup of coffee, and start thinking about 2024.

continue reading

Standard
Faux Report

20 Million Gallons of Fresh Water Accidentally Spilled Into Flint, Michigan River

flintwater

FLINT, Michigan – 

According to the EPA, an accidental spill of over 20 million gallons of fresh, clean, filtered drinking water was spilled into the Flint, Michigan river, where the town’s horrendous drinking water comes from.

Thousands of citizens rushed to their kitchen faucets, and were extremely pleased to find that a lot of the yellow and brown color was fading away, and that almost all of the smell was removed from the water.

“It’s a miracle, really. A true miracle that this happened,” said Flint resident Michael Moore. “Normally I go to my tap, and I mostly get piss-colored swill water, but now it’s almost clean! You pray and pray for accidents like this to happen, and then my God, dreams come true.”

According to the Flint chapter of the EPA, a railroad car filled with over 20 million gallons of water derailed last week, spilling into the town’s drinking supply.

Standard