Tag Archives: Donald Trump

Faux Report

Ku Klux Klan Makes Formal Endorsement For Donald Trump Campaign

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HUNTSVILLE, Alabama –

The Ku Klux Klan, America’s favorite hate group, has formally announced their endorsement for Donald Trump as he runs for president of the United States.

“He says what we are all feeling in our hearts and in our heads,” said Klan leader Joe Smith of the Huntsville chapter. “He’s a man who is ready to speak up and fix this country. He wants to build a wall to keep the spics out, and if we can have our way, we’ll get the niggers and the Jews out, too. Put ’em all behind a wall. Trump is the kind of man who can get that done, and we respect that.”

Normally not vocal about their candidate of choice, this is the first time in several decades that the group has spoken out in favor of one particular candidate during a presidential race.

“In 2008, we were adimant on getting anyone into the White House except for Obama, but we failed in our mission,” said Smith. “We didn’t think that that White House should be tarnished by being filled with a dirty black man from Kenya. This time, we will double our efforts in making sure that Trump is elected over anyone else – especially Hillary Clinton.”

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, February 1, 2016

Donald keeps making headlines. Just ahead of the Hawkeye Cauci, two polls report Trump and Cruz in a dead heat, the rest give Trump a 9-ish point lead. But only Iowans know how Iowans will caucus. Corn could a problem for Cruz. He may have gotten his message out too late. Or, perhaps too may Iowans like government subsidies for Cruz to ever win. Or, maybe ethanol doesn’t matter at all.

We’ll see. So will Microsoft. And so will Bernie see whether Microsoft sees clearly. This is the first time the election results are being calculated by the tech giant, inviting watchdogs. There are a lot of firsts in this election.

Trump’s absence at the Fox debate didn’t seem to matter to anyone but Fox—before the debate. And it didn’t seem to matter to anyone else before, not even Fox during or after. Debates themselves are being tested as to their worth, other than profitability. Thought-to-be campaign rules are being set on end so much, it is as if the Andrew Jackson campaign were making a comeback. Strategy books will write about these times, placing Trump alongside Drew, Abe, and Theo.

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Faux Report

Donald Trump Says JK Rowling Will ‘Never Work In This Country Again’

Donald Trump to Give All His Money to Cancer Research

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

An offensive tweet, posted by Trump’s aid Katrina Pierson, surfaced and has attracted attention from around the world. Katrina Pierson’s 2012 tweet referred to the two popular presidential candidates, asking, “Perfect Obama’s dad born in Africa, Mitt Romney’s dad born in Mexico. Any pure breeds left?”

Author JK Rowling was quick to respond, with “Death Eaters Walk Amongst Us.” In Harry Potter, Death Eaters are followers of evil Lord Voldemort, who were of “pure blood.” As Trump is a known racist, none were surprised that he was being called out as a Death Eater.

Although he did not understand the comment, Trump took offense, ensuring his cohorts that action would be taken against Rowling. “Neil Murray needs to rein in his wife. Rowling did not even take his name. We can see she’s the one who wants to wear the pants in this family. Well, she’s not in control in my house, and I can assure you, JK Rowling will never work in the United States again.”

Analysts consider this to be an unwise move by Trump, considering the millions of Harry Potter fans in the country ready to base their vote on Rowling’s tweets. Trump also seemed to be confused when he was informed that Rowling was not, in fact, an American citizen.

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Encore of Revival: America, January 19, 2016

The democratic awakening from Taiwan won’t stop with China. Though the ramifications may stay more in the government, they will reach America. The Pentagon and White House, in their own ongoing feuds, will be forced to recognize their miscalculations. The people are fed up. And if 20 million Taiwanese aren’t afraid of China’s 2,000 missiles and are willing to tear down annoying establishments anyway, then 300 million Americans can’t be contained by any means—by the press or the barrel of a gun.

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Encore of Revival: America, January 5, 2016

Obama’s speech was quite long-winded as he rebutted strong arguments he knows are coming against him. He also used the old Harvard debate tactic of claiming that his opponents agree with him, but of course not giving them the microphone. He is using executive order to make laws that Congress has already rejected. He is trying to make guns traceable through technology.

Individual ability to sell guns is in question and may not hold up in court. Imagine not being able to sell a car without a dealer license. There must be another way. Among those “better” ways includes enforcing laws already on the books, which he apparently hasn’t been doing. If Obama enforces his own executive orders as well as he enforces gun control laws already on the books, then there won’t be anything for gun advocates to worry about.

The bigger problem with restricting guns is China. No one is happier than Beijing. Not even the most radical Democrats and Liberals are as pleased with Obama’s gun laws as the Chinese Communists. Perhaps being in the direct line of sight for China’s attack has some bearing on why Oregonians have taken over a federal building.

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Faux Report

Donald Trump Makes Decision To Leave Republican Party, Run Under Nazi Party

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

Donald Trump has reportedly made a switch of parties, but it’s something that most of his supporters say they didn’t see coming: the billionaire mogul has left the Republican party in favor of the New Nazi Party.

“Heil Hitler,” said Trump, greeting a slew of guests and supporters at a rally on Saturday evening with a one-handed salute. “After careful consideration, I have decided that a better party for me would be the Nazi party, and plan to remove myself from the running on the Republican ticket in favor of this new, slightly less inclusive party.”

Trump says that the Republicans seem to have “lost their way” over time, and too many Mexicans, illegals, and even African Americans are ruining the GOP.

“When I was a boy, a Mexican was sight to be afraid of, and a black guy on the street meant trouble,” said Trump. “The republicans, they seem to have forgotten what it means to be a part of the GOP – strict regulation and hating anyone not rich, white, and racist. The New Nazi Party is more my style – less trusting of new ways, and far less trusting of illegals. It’s the way things should be.”

Trump’s supporters say that they really don’t care what party he runs under, because he “speaks his mind,” so idiots that appreciate his candor plan to continue their support.

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Encore of Revival: America, October 19, 2015

Registration, registration. Changes, changes. Dr. Ben Carson was registered in a small, sideline political party until almost one year ago. It will probably help him since most Republican voters vote Republican under protest. He could be the last viable RNC candidate, if the trend continues, and would be a more viable candidate on account of his former membership.

Homosexuals are announcing their status to the world, finding more and more creative ways to do it. Arguably, “coming out” on Facebook is more of a mating call than a warning to heterosexuals to keep away. “Coming out” is no longer as bold and courageous as it once was.

The courts won’t be able to be fair while differentiating the “Church of the Sword” foam sword fights from the tax-exempt Christian coffee-doughnut meetings on Sunday morning. The New Hampshire Church of the Sword will likely have copycats. The non-necessity of the Sunday morning method of Bible education and Christian friendship has been exposed.  · · · →

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Encore of Revival: America, August 31

Trump is the father America never had. More every day, slams and smears resemble an angry 16 year old trying to get back the keys to the car. Trump answers like a dad who says, “If you want to drive the car, you have to wash it and change the oil.” Americans who grew up in single-family homes and with disrespected fathers don’t know how to respond.

The spy who hacked the Clinton’s is found dead. The Clinton’s are almost as angry about the hacking as MI6—which raises its own questions. When did the Clinton’s and MI6 agree about anything? Not to worry, the British government is investigating whether the spy was able to lock himself in the bag he was found in. A yoga expert was brought in to try, though he failed. Does this foreshadow that Hillary’s ability to lock-in her own election has been hacked?

Ben Carson closes-in, but not against Trump; against the other hopefuls.  · · · →

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