Tag Archives: Trump

Faux Report

Convicted Pedophile and Former Subway Pitchman Jared Fogle Endorses Donald Trump

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LITTLETON, Colorado – 

Donald Trump picked up an endorsement today from former Subway pitchman and convicted pedophile Jared Fogle that the presidential candidate might not have wanted.

Fogle is currently serving a 15-year sentence in the Federal Correctional Institution, Englewood near Littleton, Colorado. Sources say Fogle, a self-described political junkie, has been following the presidential campaign closely from prison and rooting for his dear friend, Donald Trump, to win the Republican nomination.

In 1998, Fogle reached out to Trump as a way to gain money to help start a photography business called Happy Kids Photography. They had allegedly met on an online photography forum and “hit it off.”

After Jared was discovered by Subway, Trump often gave the popular pitchman free advice when it came to negotiating contracts with Subway, and even unofficially helped architect the Jared Foundation.

Trump occasionally vacationed with Fogle, travel records logging trips to places such as Thailand and Cambodia. They also enjoyed spending time together, Trump often spending the weekend at Fogle’s home where the men reportedly “enjoyed talking” and “playing checkers.”

Fogle sent this Trump endorsement letter through his lawyers for public release:

Dear American voters:

Donald Trump is one of the most honorable men I’ve ever known. After I was arrested, he provided much needed emotional support and prayer. He prayed for me to find comfort in my time of emotional chaos, and I believe his prayers worked and got me through the legal hell I was in.

I know he continues to pray that I will not be hurt in prison and I think Don is part of why I’m doing so well. I’m even thriving!

A true man of God is what this country needs, one who isn’t afraid to Make This Country Great Again, and that’s what Donald Trump will do. He cares for us all, even those that society has deemed unworthy. That is what a good man does, and that is what a good president should do.

Please cast your vote for Donald Trump.

With my deepest sincerity,

Jared Fogle

The Trump campaign has not responded to the endorsement.

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, August 22, 2016

Today’s news is that Trump passed Hillary at the LA Times’ poll. This week could be about as evenly divided as America may ever be concerning Trump.

Liberal logic against Trump seems to be generally about as complex as, “He is ridiculous because he just is.” This does not mean that Liberal critics of Trump are not thinking or can’t formulate logical explanations of their ideas. Rather, it seems that, to them, Trump opposes all their ideologies for self-evident reasons. Of course. No one would disagree that Trump “just seems ridiculous” by all Liberal standards. Asking Liberals to provide reasons for their view of Trump would be like asking a fashion expert to deduce the rational for concluding that someone’s clothes don’t match; you either see it or you don’t. The back-and-forth between “Trumpists” and Libs isn’t unusual, though a little more entertaining this election cycle.

But, the unusual critique of Trump comes from closer to his own base: Conservatives.

Symphony cannot find a substance-based explanation from Conservatives who distrust Trump. The only Right Wing explanations seem hypothetical, demographic-based, and inductive. “He walks among the rich. Therefore he will act like a crony capitalist in government,” goes the general reason for suspicion.

Conservatives usually base their beliefs on proven history, not untested ideology. In logic, Conservatives prefer to be deductive, not inductive. Conservatives generally act more understanding of wealthier classes. So, it seems strange for an inductive theory based on class-focused stereotypologies to move Conservatives so. But, it does. They find their reasons for distrusting Trump quite compelling.

Given history, why shouldn’t they?

Americans believe that Hillary’s sale of her country for personal and financial gain is just normal. They look at Obama dumping cash on Iran like a “drug dealer in chief”. They see Bush having willfully played the “Sunday morning” card to get elected; they felt fooled. Accordingly, many people believe that Trump should and will attempt any and all of the same. They believe this without any further evidence than the past has already presented.

But, Trumpists also cite the past, specifically in Trump’s portfolio.

Trump’s track record says he will be good. If he can’t build something, it will be the first time. If he lets someone else’s money control him—even someone who won’t miss a billion dollars—it would be the first time. If the overall treasury he manages ends in sell-off bankruptcy, it will be the first time. If his opponents gain an advantage and defeat him, it will be the first time. If his projects are filled with “$20,000 hammers”, it will be the first time. If he doesn’t fire incompetent people who would make things worse, it will be the first time. If his enemies don’t make some sort of peaceful compromise with him, it will be the first time.

But, his Conservative doubters don’t see those “first times” as well as they see other “first times”…

If a politician isn’t controlled by big money, it will be the first time. If a president makes peace with his enemies, it would be the first time since Reagan and Gorbachev. If government projects don’t see costs bloated by pork cronyism, it will be the first time. If incompetent people get fired swiftly, it will be the first time. If “faith and switch” doesn’t exploit Sunday morning voters, it will be the first time—though Grudem and Dobson may have spoiled that already, but at least it isn’t coming from the candidate himself.

Perhaps things have just been too bad and too difficult for just too long. If Trump wins, no matter what happens, there will be a lot of “first times”. And, in these times of so many firsts, a lot of people don’t know what they should think.

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, August 8, 2016

The world is buckling down on everything.

Palin postulates that Paul Ryan wants to run in 2020, which makes everything everywhere make sense in the entire world.

Obama gives $400M to Iran, despite what it will do to his post career.

Americans are buying more guns than ever having bought more guns than ever before—15 months in a row of new record months.

Trump continues to creep up on Hillary in the polls, likely to have a higher victory margin than polls the day before the election.

And, a John Hopkins University researcher more or less says that transgender issues should be treated, not enabled.

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, August 1, 2016

Russia steps it up with subs, naval cooperation with China, and—hurting Hillary’s election chances? Jeff Bezos is now advising the Pentagon.  And, NATO “has no chance”. What’s happening in America?—the clefting of revival.

The DNC convention saw a former president while the RNC convention saw none. Similarly to Obama, Trump campaigned against the Bush dynasty, which apparently is not the Republican party. A lot of things don’t seem to be the Republican party.

Clinton’s polls continue to slide. Trump sabotaged the DNC convention with his own press conference. Things are changing one way or another. The next president will likely serve two terms and will be the last president from the DNC or the RNC, ever.

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, July 25, 2016

Americans got to know Trump a little better this week. Many young Democrats will also get to know him at the debates when they watch him unedited for the first time, as predicted here many times. Some people still think a losing third party is not just another tool of the two-party system.

Some people were not surprised by Trump “appearing more presidential” in his speech. Some people see smoke on the horizon before others; some people never see the smoke no matter how close they are. The stats of who blooms late and early will predict Trump’s election. You have read it here already many times because it was all predictable to those who understand the times.

After Monday’s failed coup on rules, Cruz permanently removed himself from politics Wednesday night. Cruz’s so-called “values” demonstrably include: If someone finds your secret pet peeve and pushes the button, then you are obligated to sabotage your own career and lose whatever you stood to gain for your loyal supporters. It’s better to know sooner than later: he probably won’t make it to the Supreme Court as he might have after all.

Why did Ailes leave Fox? Throw into the mix the main viewing audience’s political party’s nomination for president: consider parallel timing of events, factor enemies and allies, then it all makes plausible sense without explanation.

Islamic attacks are no longer worthy of headlines. How many people saw that coming?

Donald J Trump Jr’s. speech writer, FH Buckley, was accused of plagiarizing the speech he himself wrote from an article he himself wrote—before the critics knew he was a speech writer. How many people saw that coming?

Numbers don’t lie. Trends do indicate. Read the times. Know the signs of the seasons. And remember what the papa tomato said to the baby tomato while crossing the street: Ketchup.

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, July 4, 2016

There is a threshold of tolerance that every human has for the number of rules that can be understood and obeyed. There is also a threshold of chaos that a human can tolerate. Rules exist to keep the chaos from crossing that threshold. But, once the number of rules crosses that threshold, the rules and the chaos are no longer distinguishable. It’s all just oppression. Humans can only take so much.

America’s Declaration of Independence was not only over having too many rules, it was also based on an excess of unchecked chaos. England had imposed too many rules than could be obeyed, but those rules did not prevent chaos; they arguably created more. Rules are not always bad or good. They must created neither liberally or conservatively. Rules must be minimally used for maximum prevention of chaos.

Once the people realize that number of rules and chaos have crossed the threshold of tolerance, the rule makers and rule enforcers are instantly seen in a different light. This programming is hardwired into the human psyche. It requires no organization and no marketing. It is every bit as innate as sleeping when tired. Humans arrive at the point of exhaustion without propaganda.

Ending tyranny and raising leaders is pure human instinct. People will do these on autopilot. They only need to think of “how” once nature has begun its course.

Beginning with the W administration, the number of tolerable rules in America skyrocketed. With Obama, that number increase and chaos simultaneously skyrocketed. Today, we are just crossing the threshold. So, only about half of the people have any concern, the other half label the first half as “alarmists” and blame propaganda.

Right now, the infatuation with Trump and Sanders stem from the “how” question that the people in the United States are asking after leader-tyrant instincts automatically kicked-in. People view Trump and Sanders as the most healthy, peaceful way people see to exercise that instinct. But, the calm-obsessed elites, trying to control people rather than understand them, believe that the Trump phenomenon is a result of propaganda. They may have miscalculated.

Look at Brexit: People can only take so much. Leaders who push the threshold are always surprised when they cross it.

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Faux Report

Facebook Releasing Option To Block Foreigners From Friend Requesting You

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SILICON VALLEY, California – 

People should be careful about unusual friend requests on Facebook because most of them are scams, according to an expert. University of South Florida information systems professor Brandon Gill said that people should be cautious when getting requests from others they don’t know.

“In many cases, the reason these persons are friend requesting people are scams, including trying to steal people’s identities. Often though, they are just foreigners who want to practice their English, and that can be even worse.”

Although Facebook has options in the privacy settings to block people from friend requesting a user, many want to make new friends, but not filter through people with names like Миша Петров, Arablife Mike, and Sarkar Deepankar.

Facebook user Jessie Rose is excited about the new options. “I used a picture of a hot chick as my profile pic so I get a lot of friend requests. I am so tired of weeding through the Sayeeds and Aashrafs. Sometimes I accidentally click accept, and it’s annoying to have to go through and delete these guys. I only want to get hit on by people in the United States.”

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Faux Report

Facebook Releasing Option To Block Foreigners From Friend Requesting You

facebook

SILICON VALLEY, California – 

People should be careful about unusual friend requests on Facebook because most of them are scams, according to an expert. University of South Florida information systems professor Brandon Gill said that people should be cautious when getting requests from others they don’t know.

“In many cases, the reason these persons are friend requesting people are scams, including trying to steal people’s identities. Often though, they are just foreigners who want to practice their English, and that can be even worse.”

Although Facebook has options in the privacy settings to block people from friend requesting a user, many want to make new friends, but not filter through people with names like Миша Петров, Arablife Mike, and Sarkar Deepankar.

Facebook user Jessie Rose is excited about the new options. “I used a picture of a hot chick as my profile pic so I get a lot of friend requests. I am so tired of weeding through the Sayeeds and Aashrafs. Sometimes I accidentally click accept, and it’s annoying to have to go through and delete these guys. I only want to get hit on by people in the United States.”

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Faux Report

Trump Promises To Release Sex Tape Of Melania If Elected

melania

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

Losing points in the polls has caused Donald Trump to get creative. Trump has promised that if he gets elected, not only will he build a wall between the US and Mexico, and create new jobs, but he will release a pornographic tape featuring his wife.

Unlike most first ladies, Melania Trump is a former model known for posing and looking pretty. Previous first ladies have been known for standing by their presidential hubbies while working with the public on projects important to them. Melania has previously said that she see’s herself as more of supportive role to her husband and more hands off in the politics realm.

“I’m totally fine with it. I don’t want to actually do any of the drab first lady duties, Consider this my civic duty, after which I will return to my New York City Penthouse,” said Melania. “Whatever Donnie-Don wants me to do.”

Since she has a past rooted in modeling, Melania has several racy photos circulating the internet including a photo of her in a gold bathing suit while 7 months pregnant with her only child back in the early 2000’s. She even posed mostly nude for GQ before being married to Trump.

As the years go by, and new first ladies are introduced, they grow in their modern style. Though Melania Trump is an ex model, she says that her current First Lady style will be aligned with classic first ladies like Jackie Onassis – with a little bit of Marilyn Monroe thrown in.

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Faux Report

Trump Superfan Gets Portrait Tattoo Inside Her Anus

assholelips

LAS VEGAS, Nevada – 

A Donald Trump superfan has gone to great lengths to both show – and hide – her support for Making America Great Again. Mark Rogers, a tattoo artist in Las Vegas, Nevada, has confirmed that he did tattoo a portrait of the Republican nominee inside the anus of a 29-year-old woman.

“She doesn’t want her name out there, because her family doesn’t know she’s a Trump supporter, so she doesn’t want me to mention her, but I can confirm that I did give her the tattoo, yes,” said Rogers. “I was surprised that a supporter would want his tattoo in their asshole; that seems more like something that someone who hates him would get – at least placement wise, but she said she wanted to keep it a secret.”

Rogers says that in his 20 years of tattooing, it’s not the first time he’s tattooed someone’s anus, but it is the first time he’s done a portrait there.

“It was a long, slow process, but we got a really good likeness, I think,” said Rogers. “For my money, though, I wish I could have done a Clinton portrait instead.”

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Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, June 20, 2016

In tragic aftermath, Americans blame each other. Government agencies are not allowed to use the obvious as cause for suspicion. America’s president blames Americans for hatred of America, yet he can’t figure out why his popularity isn’t only sinking. Obama is becoming permanently infamous.

He is already on a down-hill train to being the “anti-president”—everything that a president should not be. He is a disgrace to the talented, brilliant Black community. Perhaps Carson’s run will serve to prove Obama’s term wrong: Black people certainly can be good leaders after all. In every other way, Obama has provided Americans with every reason to hate him.

When his policies fail, he condescends the very people who warned him. When America is attacked, he blames the victims. He has supported the LGBT community, yet freely welcomed members of a religious sect that want to kill them. Now, a sizable chunk of LGBT community members have joined Trump and taken an interest in owning firearms.

Obama failed to retain his own supporters—a large number of the very people his policies tried to “help” have turned against him.

More than that, Obama’s biggest failure is that he has not stopped the avalance of his own failure. When he becomes unpopular, he has proven incapable of doing anything to gain that popularity back.

Obama doesn’t know when he is losing, he just keeps playing his losing tactics. That makes him the biggest loser of all. His non-unpopular days are numbered and, soon, he could seal his own eternal place in the Hall of Failing.

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Encore of Revival: America, June 13, 2016

As predicted: Sanders lost to the Clinton machine, Trump reached out to unite all disgruntled voters disenfranchised by a “rigged” system.

Trump says that a judge’s association with professional organizations, specifically La Raza reportedly have made anti-Trump statements, has demonstrated a recusable conflict of interest. Then, Conservatives and Liberals discuss whether Trump should make “Anti-Mexican” statements. There are so many red herrings in this election that one could start a fishing business and so many straw men that a farmer could stock his barn for the next eight years.

So, Trump continues to be attacked by the old boys club for not speaking more peacefully. Interestingly, there was another attack from a member of a religion the Bush family called “peaceful”, this time, also interestingly, in Florida.

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Encore of Revival: America, May 30, 2016

Trump, Trump, Trump. It’s the new onomatopoeia for motorcycles and politics. But there is also other news, believe it or not. US flag sales are up, helping the Chinese manufacturing industry. It’s a start at patriotism, anyway. Soon enough, Americans will learn that being patriotic means keeping jobs in the country, which means not complaining about prices so much.

You read it here first, Trump going head-to-head against the Clinton’s will show an unseen game and tip the polls. There is a lot from the Clinton years that Trump will go after as no RINO has, making the anit-Clinton crowd not only stronger, but much, much larger. Prediction fulfilled this week.

Then, there’s bathrooms. Texas and a few others filed a lawsuit against the idea that gender identity choice was intended to be part of the Civil Rights law governing the bodies we are born with. They filed in a Conservative-friendly court. The DC circuit has been inclined to hear Conservative-Texan cases, which means that SCOTUS could hear the case—which means that SCOTUS could tie the case and bump it back to a lower Conservative ruling if a new Conservative justice isn’t appointed first.

In the unlikely event that the Congressional RINOs capitulate as their broken promises show, Trump would become the last Republican to be elected as a President before a third party replaces the GOP. Though typical, it would be unlikely this time because the scenario is all too obvious to the party. And it should be obvious to Obama.

He should have known that his transgender executive orders would be met with unbeatable opposition. So, what’s his end game? Is he merely trying to stir discussion—that’s all he’ll end up accomplishing, unless he knows something the public doesn’t. As Limbaugh has pointed out, simple one-person bathrooms would solve the entire problem—and refusing that option shows that solving the problem is not anyone’s goal. The public has yet to discuss any connection to the conspiracy theories surrounding Michelle Obama. Those conspiracy theories seem more plausible in lieu of Barack’s policies as Barack’s policies would have a clear motive if the conspiracy theories were true. While no one in the mainstream press has suggested the connection, the sharks and ravens are already circling, the sun is setting on the Obama policy season, and revival has already dawned.

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Faux Report

Donald Trump Declines Debate With Sanders, Suggests Fistfight Instead

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

Donald Trump on Friday said he would not debate Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders because it would be “inappropriate” to square off against the candidate who currently trails Hillary Clinton in the Democratic primary fight. Trump initially agreed to do the interview, and then changed his mind numerous times in the span of a few days.

Sanders calls Trump a liar. Trump responded by saying, “Oh, Crazy Ol’ Bernie, don’t listen to him and his so called logic.” Trump went on to say, “I did not decide to debate with Bernie because as a business man I don’t agree to a deal where I don’t come out ahead. My supporters don’t care about things like debates. What speaks to my supporters is good old fashioned blood, and I’d knock that old Jew into next week.”

Political analyst Eugune Scott told CNN, “I didn’t think he’d [Trump] fare very well in a fight with Sanders. Plus, do we really need anymore proof what a barbaric ignoramus Trump is?”

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