Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, February 3, 2020

https://youtu.be/E44m2Pbm5Ds

After hearing from the house managers and then the Trump defense team, it sounds more like the one who may have committed "high crimes and misdemeanors" would be Joe Biden. Maxim Waters claimed that impeachment is not governed by law, only whatever whim Congress decides—a statement that simply isn't true.

This level of lawlessness expected of the government suggests a nation doomed. A growing portion of the electorate actually believe that government should take whatever drastic action it wants—because they feel comfortable with the current action proposed. But, they so quickly forget that the tables were only recently reversed, and being lawful in the very way they hold in contempt now was the only thing protecting them from the government doing likewise to them just a few years ago.

The biggest danger Trump always posed was that he would do too good of a job, that he would be too successful, and that the Republicans would thus earn great power that they neither deserved nor understood. These past few months, Republicans have announced that they would back a president they abhorred just a few years ago. They do this because they enjoy the success they didn't expect him to create because they had failed to create that success at anytime in their careers. Hateful yesterday, grateful today, what will tomorrow hold for Republicans?

Last week, as expected, Republicans turned down Democrats' call for more witnesses—after House Democrats could have called the same witnesses, but didn't. Though having Biden on record would have played well in Republican politics, the disgruntled, disenfranchised, dejected, and shamed former National Security Advisor John Bolton was never going to be given a soapbox. He is a war monger and a neo-Conservative, still angry that Trump pulled out of Syria and Afghanistan. Democrats wanted him as a witness, but Republicans knew he would only yield opinion and tainted facts at best, understandably contrary to the president who fired him. That was never going to happen and Democrats knew it; that's why Democrats asked for it. Getting rejected often rallies the voter base.

As Democrats push their case for impeachment because of "feelings rather than law", Republican voters are rallying around their president. Trump will likely win by an even greater margin in 2020 than he did in 2016, all thanks to the support for impeachment. This is not only because of Democrats on Capitol Hill. In coffee shops, offices, and homes, Republican voters are listening to Democrat voters give their reasons to support impeachment and that scares them just as much, if not more, than what Democrats in Washington say. Thus, in 2020, the Senate stands to gain even more seats, inching ever closer to a supermajority in the Senate. Once that happens, our liberties will be at the greatest risk since the founding because nothing is as dangerous as a party not held in check. Republicans in Washington pose a supermajority danger to all voters, and it was Democratic voters who helped it all happen—because their parents never taught them why government must not be lawless.

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Faux Report

Inmate Sues Prison System After Saying Multiple Assaults ‘Turned Him Gay’

gay

CARSON CITY, Nevada – 

Johnny “Rebel” Wilson, 30, is an inmate in the Carson City prison system in Nevada, and has been since he was 19. Wilson was convicted of slaughtering his entire family in 2004, and is serving a life sentence. Wilson claims now, though, that the last decade of rapes and attacks he has been inflicted with has “turned him gay,” and he is suing the prison system.

“I weren’t no faggot when I came into jail, but I been getting raped so long and so hard, that now all I can do is think about sweet, fat cock,” said Wilson. “I don’t wanna be no queer, and this shit ain’t right. It’s the prison’s fault for making me a gay. Hell they don’t even give these guys no condoms, so I have to take it raw. That’s probably why I’m so gay now. If they at least had condoms, I probably wouldn’t have gotten the gay this bad.”

Lawyers for Wilson say that he doesn’t have much of case, but that his homies on the outside are coercing them into taking the job.

“Obviously Mr. Wilson was gay before he came to prison, as it’s pretty common knowledge that you’re either born gay, or you’re not, but no matter what we tell him, Mr. Wilson insists that the prison is to blame,” said attorney Joseph A. Goldsmith. “We can’t talk him out of this lawsuit, so we’re moving forward at his request.”

Goldsmith says that his client is seeking monetary damages of $15 million for his sudden “gayness,” and says that the strain and stress has been so bad, that he deserves to be let out of prison with a full pardon.

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Faux Report

Bodybuilder Accused Of Murder Found ‘Too Fit’ To Stand Trial

bodybuilder

SAN DIEGO, California – 

Carl Jones, a professional bodybuilder from San Diego was found too fit to stand trial after he was accused of murdering his former lover, Cindy Mays.

A grand jury of his peers found that Jones was in too good of shape to be put through the harrowing legal proceedings that would have ensued in a murder case. A person being ‘too fit’ to stand trial is rare, but not unheard of.

“Oftentimes, as is the case with the law, things work out very oddly,” said lawyer Jackson Pooler. “Many times, a person is declared unfit to stand trial. This is usually because they are mentally unstable or unsound. In the case of Mr. Jones, my client, the grand jury found that he was too fit – a long, drawn-out court case would be detrimental to his health.”

Jones says that he works out over 9 hours a day, and eats in excess of 20,000 calories.

“There is no way that I’d be able to maintain this physique and, in essence, my health, if I had to stand trial,” said Jones. “In this case, the jury has made the correct decision, and I am just overjoyed that I can now continue making sure that I live as clean and healthy a life as possible.”

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