Faux Report

Johnson And Johnson May Go Bankrupt With Lawsuits

ATLANTA, Georgia –

Johnson and Johnson is expected to go bankrupt once they are forced to settle the multiple class action suits have been brought against them. The company is accused of continuing to sell baby powder even after finding out talc causes cancer.

While talcum powder is widely used to help keep skin dry and prevent rashes, when used on the genitals or buttocks, talc particles can travel up the vagina or rectum and remain trapped for years. These particles can cause inflammation and lead to the growth of prostate or ovarian cancer cells.

Families are urged to stop using baby powder now and lawyer up, as their child has a ten percent change of developing prostate or ovarian cancer.

“Prostate and ovarian cancer would not be nearly as prevalent if it wasn’t put on nearly every baby’s bottom for the last fifty years,” says Gabriel Evans, an attorney representing the victims. “They knew it was killing people and did nothing about it. It’s just another instance of the big-baby industry caring more and bout profit than human lives.”

Johnson & Johnson Company Group Chairman, Alex Gorsky declined to comment on the lawsuits, but is rumored to have stopped powdering his balls.

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