Faux Report

Stephen King Says That His Next Book Will Be A Romantic Comedy

Stephen King To Revolutionize Book Industry; New Novel To Published Exclusively On Live Horses

BANGOR, Maine – 

Stephen King is one of the best-selling writers of all time, with every single one of his 57 novels becoming #1 New York Times best sellers. The author has said, though, that his next book will be a huge change from his normal dark, scary, and personal stories. His next novel will be a romantic comedy.

“I’ve been writing horror and drama for so long, that I really feel like I need to change things up,” said King from his home in Bangor, Maine. “I’ve been the master of the macabre for as long as I can remember, and I think with my next outing, I want to become the King of the Kissing, or something.”

King, who is best known for his horror stories including It, Misery, and Pet Sematary, says that some of his all-time favorite movies are romance or comedies, and that trying his hand at writing a “different” kind of novel will hopefully stretch his imagination to places it hasn’t gone before.

“I love all types of media, and I love all kinds of genres,” said King. “Comedies, romance, horror, sci-fi, action – I read them all, I go to see movies of all of them, and I watch TV shows in every genre. The one thing I’ve never done is try to take my love of multiple genres and really release something I can honestly say is not personal piece. This next book will be that piece.”

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Faux Report

Kanye Reportedly Leaves Kim Kardashian For Caitlyn Jenner

kanye

LOS ANGELES, California – 

In an extremely bizarre turn of events, hip hop mogul and the internet’s favorite punching bag Kanye West has reportedly left his wife, Kim Kardashian, for her former step-father Caitlyn Jenner. According to reports, West and Jenner met during the filming of Jenner’s reality show, I Am Caitlyn, last year, and have been secretly meeting ever since.

Insiders report that Jenner and West have been secretly meeting in between her tapings of the latest episodes of her series, and that over time they have “fallen in love.”

“I am absolutely obsessed with Kanye, and with good reason. He’s gorgeous, talented, and he’s the only person in the world who I could honestly say is more self-absorbed than I am,” said Caitlyn Jenner. “It’s a shame; I never meant to wreck Kim’s marriage, but sometimes, love just blossoms.”

The usually mouthy West has remained mum on the subject of his new relationship, but his wife, Kim Kardashian, has reportedly been extremely vocal of her husband’s “misguided feelings.”

“Clearly it’s been awhile since he’s seen me naked, or else this wouldn’t be happening,” said Kardashian. “I don’t know how that is, since I literally just tweeted a nudie the other day. Hell, it was Facebook trending. How could he have missed it? I don’t understand. What does Caitlyn have that I don’t ha–…Oh, never mind.”

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