Faux Report

Labiaplasty Popular Among Teen Girls Looking To Have ‘Perfect Vagina’

labiaplasty

LOS ANGELES, California – 

Plastic surgeons on the west coast, particularly in ritzy areas like Los Angeles and Beverly Hills, say that they have recently seen a rise in labiaplasty requests from young women; plastic surgery on the vagina so that the girls can have, what they say, is the “perfect pussy.”

“I want it to be tiny, hairless, no extra skin, and everything tucked away, nice and neat,” said Samantha Kenner, 19. “I heard that all the Kardashians had their pussies tucked, and I have been saving for 2 years to get mine done. It’s going to be fabulous.”

In a recent poll, it was discovered that most women are completely dissatisfied by the look of their vagina, especially when it comes to extra skin or puffy labias.

“My vagina was wrecked after having triplets when I was 20,” said Maria Carson, now 31. “So I met with doctors who said they could completely rebuild my vagina from the ground up. I had them tuck away all the extra roast beef that was going on down there, and then they also laser-removed the hair, so I never had to shave or wax again. They also tightened up the actual muscles, so I’ve essentially got the vagina of a 13-year-old virgin again. My husband certainly isn’t complaining.”

Plastic surgery has been on the rise in the US for decades, but this new surgery has only been around for the last 2 or 3 years, say doctors. The costly surgery can range from $3,000 to a simple “meat tuck” to $20,000 for a full reconstruction.

 

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Columns, Devotionals

The Spirit of Gluttony

I don't think I've ever heard anyone talk about the spirit of gluttony in church in all the years I've gone.  I started to write this a couple of days ago but paused, making sure I was in God's timing. Then I read something yesterday that confirmed to me that I was hearing Him.

1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "Whether, therefore, you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."  We are to eat and drink to the glory of God.  How many of us have ever given thought to this verse?  But there's even more to it than that.



When I was about 35 years old, the Lord spoke to me one day and told me, "You have a spirit of gluttony."  I'm about 5'4" and at the time weighed about 110-115 lbs.  So I was surprised, to say the least. I expressed my confusion to the Lord and He began to explain.

The spirit of gluttony is when we find comfort for our flesh in things besides God. Our 'flesh' is the 'old man.' It's our sin nature. The spirit of gluttony is shopping when you're depressed. It's getting a new color and cut when you're feeling down. It's eating comfort foods when you don't want to deal with your emotions.

We might associate the spirit of gluttony with being over-weight, and rightly so, but this demon can manifest in other ways. It can drive a person to work out and be obsessed with their beautiful physique, because in some, it can partner with 'vanity.'

In our culture, the spirit of gluttony is celebrated. All of the celebrities that we see in the media comfort themselves and feed their flesh with every indulgence. We are told constantly to 'treat ourselves' with new makeup, new clothes and shoes and handbags. If our self-worth is low and we don't like the way we look, we can get a little botox or a whole lot of plastic surgery.

We are told constantly that we can make ourselves feel better by these things and that we don't need God. Some have gone to the other extreme and seek to make themselves feel better by starving themselves. But all have the same need - God. All are seeking 'a fix' to solve an inner lack.

One day when we were doing our 40 day Word fast, I was really struggling with exactly this. It was a blizzard outside and so I was staying home.  I was bored, not enjoying winter, and wasn't feeling motivated to work on a project. I wanted nothing more than to lie on the couch, under a warm blanket, fireplace burning, and watch movies all afternoon. Or read a book. I wanted to veg. I wanted an escape from my reality. I wanted to be entertained.

And because of my commitment to this fast, I couldn't. And it made me realize something.

What would Jesus do?

Jesus lived His life serving others. I can't imagine Him spending His afternoon on the couch, can you? Or at the movies. Someone always needed Him and although He used wisdom and followed God's leading completely, He never 'indulged' Himself. His only 'free time' was spent in prayer and fellowship with the Father. Jesus did not have a spirit of gluttony.

One of my sins that I've confessed to God and am asking Him to empower me to overcome is deciding my own schedule. Because I am not employed and our children are grown, I can do whatever I want. I can go out to lunch, go shopping, hang out at home all day, hang out with my daughter and grandchildren...whatever I 'feel' like doing.

But is that what God wants me to?

I continue to work on disciplining myself to have a schedule and to accomplish the things that I know God has set before me. I continue to discipline myself to eat more healthy and to prepare better meals for my family. And I'm continuing to discipline myself to listen to God and to do what He's telling me to do each day...to truly give Him my life, my time, and my goals.

I think the spirit of gluttony is very hard to starve out. And that's what we have to do. By not feeding this spirit, and for some that's literal, we dethrone it in our lives.

And as with everything else, we can't do this without our Saviour's help.

love and blessings~


photo credit: themost10.com




Standard
Columns, Devotionals

The Spirit of Gluttony

I don't think I've ever heard anyone talk about the spirit of gluttony in church in all the years I've gone.  I started to write this a couple of days ago but paused, making sure I was in God's timing. Then I read something yesterday that confirmed to me that I was hearing Him.

1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "Whether, therefore, you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."  We are to eat and drink to the glory of God.  How many of us have ever given thought to this verse?  But there's even more to it than that.



When I was about 35 years old, the Lord spoke to me one day and told me, "You have a spirit of gluttony."  I'm about 5'4" and at the time weighed about 110-115 lbs.  So I was surprised, to say the least. I expressed my confusion to the Lord and He began to explain.

The spirit of gluttony is when we find comfort for our flesh in things besides God. Our 'flesh' is the 'old man.' It's our sin nature. The spirit of gluttony is shopping when you're depressed. It's getting a new color and cut when you're feeling down. It's eating comfort foods when you don't want to deal with your emotions.

We might associate the spirit of gluttony with being over-weight, and rightly so, but this demon can manifest in other ways. It can drive a person to work out and be obsessed with their beautiful physique, because in some, it can partner with 'vanity.'

In our culture, the spirit of gluttony is celebrated. All of the celebrities that we see in the media comfort themselves and feed their flesh with every indulgence. We are told constantly to 'treat ourselves' with new makeup, new clothes and shoes and handbags. If our self-worth is low and we don't like the way we look, we can get a little botox or a whole lot of plastic surgery.

We are told constantly that we can make ourselves feel better by these things and that we don't need God. Some have gone to the other extreme and seek to make themselves feel better by starving themselves. But all have the same need - God. All are seeking 'a fix' to solve an inner lack.

One day when we were doing our 40 day Word fast, I was really struggling with exactly this. It was a blizzard outside and so I was staying home.  I was bored, not enjoying winter, and wasn't feeling motivated to work on a project. I wanted nothing more than to lie on the couch, under a warm blanket, fireplace burning, and watch movies all afternoon. Or read a book. I wanted to veg. I wanted an escape from my reality. I wanted to be entertained.

And because of my commitment to this fast, I couldn't. And it made me realize something.

What would Jesus do?

Jesus lived His life serving others. I can't imagine Him spending His afternoon on the couch, can you? Or at the movies. Someone always needed Him and although He used wisdom and followed God's leading completely, He never 'indulged' Himself. His only 'free time' was spent in prayer and fellowship with the Father. Jesus did not have a spirit of gluttony.

One of my sins that I've confessed to God and am asking Him to empower me to overcome is deciding my own schedule. Because I am not employed and our children are grown, I can do whatever I want. I can go out to lunch, go shopping, hang out at home all day, hang out with my daughter and grandchildren...whatever I 'feel' like doing.

But is that what God wants me to?

I continue to work on disciplining myself to have a schedule and to accomplish the things that I know God has set before me. I continue to discipline myself to eat more healthy and to prepare better meals for my family. And I'm continuing to discipline myself to listen to God and to do what He's telling me to do each day...to truly give Him my life, my time, and my goals.

I think the spirit of gluttony is very hard to starve out. And that's what we have to do. By not feeding this spirit, and for some that's literal, we dethrone it in our lives.

And as with everything else, we can't do this without our Saviour's help.

love and blessings~


photo credit: themost10.com




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Faux Report

Man With Teeth On Outside Of Face Says ‘At Least I Don’t Have Cavities’

teeth

PEIKING, China – 

Pang Wok has a rare condition that has caused his teeth to grow outwards, through his lips and gums, appearing on the outside of his face. Although doctors say that with plastic surgery and careful extraction they could fix most of Mr. Wok’s issues, he seems completely un-phased by his condition.

“I have always been like this, so no need to change anything now,” said Wok, 52. “I do not have cavities, I can still chew, so there’s not much to complain about. I am who I am and that all that I am.”

Wok says that many doctors from all over the world have offered to correct his tooth issues free of charge, but even then, Wok claims that he’s not interested.

“What’s the point? Everyone I know has seen me, they’ve grown used to it,” said Wok. “If I changed the way I look now, what would my family say? What would my wife say? They know me in this way. I am happy enough, even if I look strange. Besides, all of my patients think it’s hilarious.”

Wok has been a practicing dentist for over 20 years.

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Faux Report

Woman Spends Over $200k On Plastic Surgery To Look Like Her Dog

dog

BRIARVILLE, Georgia – 

A Georgia woman, Samantha Kenner, has reportedly spend nearly a quarter of a million dollars on plastic surgery in an attempt to look like her dog, Ben.

“Ben and I have been together since I was 14,” said Kenner, now 30. “He’s an old dog, but he’s loyal, and I love him to death. I wanted to look more like him to show my support and appreciation for how loving he’s been.”

Kenner says she first got the idea to have the surgeries after she watched a TV show about a man who had spent his life savings on trying to look like Superman.

“I figured that if he could do that, I could look like a dog,” said Kenner. “It started out small – a tuck here, a snip there, some fur added and other hair removed, but in the end, I think I look beautiful. And now, when Ben sees me after I come home from a long day at work, it’s way less awkward when he humps my leg, because even though I may still be mostly human, I feel way more like his bitch.”

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Faux Report

Young Boy Obsessed With Kardashians Has Lip Injections To Look Like His Heroes

lips2

LOS ANGELES, California – 

A 9-year-old boy who is obsessed with the Kardashian family has undergone surgery to have injections placed in his lips so he can more resemble the family who he calls his “heroes.”

“The Kardashians are so pretty, and they’re so liked and they’re on TV,” said Jimmy Moyer, 9. “I love them. I like to watch them get into fights and do silly things. But mostly, I love how pretty their faces are, and their lips. They’re so big!”

Jimmy’s mother, Marie, 30, says that he has been bugging her to get lip injections ever since he saw an ad on TV for plastic surgery.

“He’d run up to me at 6 or 7 years old, yelling ‘Mommy, I want Kardy lips! I want Kardy lips!’ That’s what he said before he could say Kardashian,” said Marie. “He’s been itching for big, blowjob-style lips for years. Finally, I relented.”

It was reportedly a difficult task to find a plastic surgeon willing to inject a child’s lips with collagen, so Marie resorted to a Mexican surgeon who she says “barely spoke a word of English, but was very grateful to take American money.”

Now, she says, Jimmy is happier than he’s ever been.

“Oh man, I love my big lips. All my friends at school think I’m so cool. Everyone wants to kiss me,” said Jimmy. “I let them. For twenty-five cents, I will let anyone kiss me, boys or girls!”

“He’s definitely on the right track to becoming a Kardashian,” said Marie.

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