Faux Report

Water May Become As Expensive As Oil Soon In Some Parts Of The World

water

The average person does not think twice when he turns on the water for a shower, a drink or to clean his hands. We have all enjoyed access to clean, fresh water for years without a single worry. Unfortunately, this is likely to change in the future. Already in parts of the world like the Middle East and Africa, clean water can be harder to get than oil.

One proposed solution is to mine ice from the icecaps, since they are melting into the oceans anyway, and ship them to places like Saudi Arabia in exchange for it.

This is only going to get worse across the globe, as ecologist Bridget Bishop explains, “If humanity fails to limit population growth, wars will inevitably be fought for access to fresh water just like they were fought over oil in the 20th century. It is not prudent use of massive amounts of water to maintain lush green golf courses throughout the year. If we continue our wasteful ways, water could eventually become even more valuable than oil.”

Politicians, economists, demographers and just about anyone else “in the know” agrees that access to clean and fresh water will soon become humanity’s most important challenge. This is precisely why water will be treated like oil was in the 20th century.

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Symphony

February 11, 2016

Bernie makes bank! (Washington Post)

GOP turnout WAY high (Washington Times)

Clinton’s under the bus (The Nation)

Disney down 5.2% (Yahoo-Reuters)

Viacom disappoints 5th quarter, CEO exchange heated (AP)

Oil down – BECAUSE OF CLIMATE CHANGE LAWS? (Market Watch)

Pictures of the sailors crying, courtesy Iran (Free Beacon)

Profit-wise: Why are Indian gurus selling noodles? | BBC

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Faux Report

First Contact: New Images from Voyager Satellite Prove Alien Existence

aliens

CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida –

Voyager I has made contact with aliens, and they do not seem to have the capacity to understand human affairs. Scientists have analyzed the images and determined the beings are definitely animal-like in nature, although It cannot be confirmed whether they have souls. They sit atop what geologists suspect to be a rich oil deposit, and they hope to relocate the oil to Earth.

World leaders agree that the next step for humanity. is to invest in this venture.

“We’re all going to be rich! Rolexes and expensive cheeses for all!” said scientist George Miller Jr. “I cannot wait. We’ve finally made contact, and we are at this moment planning on a way to rape and pillage these aliens in much the same way that we raped the indigenous peoples here.”

Newly forming special interest groups for the creatures discovered by the Voyager satellite warn that “They’re just going to exploit their resources and drive them off like they did our own indigenous people.”

The daughter of a NASA official leaked the inside information. “They are so on their own little world, no knowledge of interstellar matters. Totally like, clueless. Daddy says we can send rockets there to start drilling, and my baby’s baby will be rich when they come back. I can’t wait.”

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November 24, 2015

US bombs ISIL oil: 280 trucks, dropped warning leaflets first, details (Business Insider)

Pew Research contradicted: census data shows surge in immigration (CR)

Pew Research strangely-worded survey results “lie” about public opinion on immigration, June 2015 (Red Alert)

Pew Research “lied” about immigration waning in 2014, 2012, 2010 (Sweetness & Light) (Yahoo-Reuters)

MINNESOTA—The immigrant the US government doesn’t want to deport (Star Tribune)

Vets patrol border (News 4 Tuscon)

Research: Election Poll Accuracy Over Time (Ispos)  · · · →

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