Tag Archives: neighbors

Faux Report

Boy Attacks Neighbor with Drone

drone

DALLAS, Texas – 

Neighbors, Pat and Marsha Stuart called him Dennis the Menace.

The harassment allegedly started with petty theft and the boy throwing rocks at the house and cat. He was also accused of coming out in the night and leaving marbles around for them to slip on.

According to the Stuarts, the neighbor boy was given a Storm Racing Drone for Christmas by his parents, and now he is being accused of using it to terrorize his neighbors. After the drone “accidentally” collided with Marsha’s head, the neighbors then told police they boy had been using it “to spy and snap pictures of us in the buff.” Pat Stuart says he boy is lucky he did not get shot for these type of antics.

Although the 9-year-old boy’s name has not been released, it has been confirmed he was diagnosed with oppositional defiance disorder, which basically meant, according to doctors, that “he is a little shit.” His parents do not think his antics are cute and plan to have him sent to reform school as soon as he is released from juvenile hall.

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Faux Report

Man Arrested After Shooting At Ceiling, Injuring Toddler In Upstairs Apartment

shooter

BRIAR, North Dakota – 

Loud upstairs neighbors beware. North Dakota resident Phillip Davis tells police that his neighbors were thrashing around on purpose, terrorizing him with loud noises and thumping. Racking up over 50 noise complaints in a matter of months, Davis reportedly told police the family just wanted to drive him insane.

“I ask you – what kind of mother lets their kids run around till 11 o’clock at night? That kid would run from one end of the apartment to the other, jump on the bed, and then back again,” said Davis. “If I was able to go to bed at a reasonable hour and get a proper night’s sleep, this accident would never have happened.”

According to Davis, he was so distressed and angry after not being able to sleep, he grabbed his gun – which he keeps on a bedside table – and claims he intended to only “mockingly” shoot at the ceiling where his neighbors were again slamming and thrashing around.

“I didn’t mean to actually pull the trigger, it was just an automatic response,” said Davis. “You know, anyone would make the same kind of motion, that whole ‘I’m gonna shoot these people!’ kind of thing. I didn’t mean to actually shoot anyone.”

The unidentified two-year-old child was fortunate enough to only receive minor injuries after the bullet from Davis’ gun went through his ceiling and punctured the mother’s foot, causing the extremely obese woman to fall on the poor child.

“I used to work second shift,” Georgette Hamilton says. “I like to sleep in. Baby would be getting up way too early if I put her to bed before 11. In a way, this is a blessing in disguise. Laid up as I am from my foot, my disability will surely go through this time!”

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