Tag Archives: gun control

Faux Report

President Trump Signs Order Placing Ban on AR-15 Rifles

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

Caving to pressure from teachers’ groups and anti-gun advocates, President Trump signed an immediate order banning the sale, trade, or possession of AR-15 rifles. The ban is effective immediately, with owners required to turn their firearms over to local law enforcement.

“At this time, AR-15 owners are asked to turn in their rifles to either a local police station or at a local FBI affiliate office,” said a White House representative. “The weapons will be taken and in exchange, the owner will be provided a $50 voucher to a local restaurant, generously donated by chains such as Applebee’s and Carl’s Jr.’s.”

Despite the extreme backlash that was expected by the Trump administration, most gun owners have been completely understanding and very passive about the ordeal since it was announced early this morning.

“Frankly, I don’t really need to own an AR-15, I just wanted to have it,” said gun owner Chris Hopkins in Maine. “It’s not a big deal. I wouldn’t mind a gift certificate for a dinner, anyway. Come to think of it, I am pretty hungry.”

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Faux Report

Police Calling For Stricter Gun Control After Woman Shoots Intruder

gun cotrol

PORTLAND, Oregon –

Politicians say a recent incident where a woman shot an intruder in self defense is a case-in-point example of why there needs to be stricter gun control laws. A woman who returned to her Portland, Ore., home with her two children early Sunday morning shot and killed an intruder who was in the home, police said.

The woman, 33, found a stranger in the bedroom of one of her children about 1:45 a.m. PT Sunday. Police said the victim came home with her children ages 5 and 10, and armed with a handgun, she shot and killed the unknown 59-year-old man.

Police said the woman is cooperating with investigators and was not arrested. The investigation will determine whether she acted in self-defense and whether she will face charges.

Authorities say once the investigation is complete, it will be presented to the Multnomah County District Attorney’s Office for review.

An autopsy will be conducted Monday. The name of the man will not be released until his family is notified, police said.

Chief Luke Barkley says ordinary citizens should not take the law in their own hands. “The proper protocol would be to call 911 and wait for police to arrive. Don’t try to be a hero. This tragedy could have likely been avoided.”

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