Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, January 2, 2017

Carrie Fisher died over the Holidays, may she rest in peace. She was best known for Leia in “Star Wars” and second-best known for her wit. Having finished filming for Episode VIII due in 2017, Episode IX for 2019 is still in on the drafting board, though she was intended to play a substantial role. There has been no official comment on what Leia’s role will be.

When anyone dies, our natural response is to discuss their work. It seems cold, but is its own form of respect. People want to know how her life’s work will end up, a question about justice to her and her work. People ask what will become of her unfinished work because they love her. They’ll make it good. They always do.

But, deeper meaning surfaces for all of us. Han Solo’s death, his speculated return, the runaway son, and the complexity of Leia and Han’s family opened one of the deep problems in America: broken families. Any runaway child should come home quickly because parents don’t live forever. Carrie’s mother passed away the next day.

Carrie Fisher left us with many messages, both in life and in death, both good and bad, both filial and professional, both pithy and elaborate, and always poetic.

A team that works in web security dug into claims about the so-called (and now seemingly mislabeled) “Russian hack” and they made some reports. In sum, it likely wasn’t Russia in particular. The hack seemed to use out-of-date Ukrainian hacker tools, had multiple origins and targets, and, as usual with hacks, the main vulnerability was: compromised user accounts—something easily prevented by using Ubuntu rather than Windows for a desktop operating system and knowing a few basics about hyperlinks, apps, and websites.

If Russia did have anything to do with the [non-]Russian hack, it would have been to get Democrats to merely cast the recent and unnecessary doubt on the perfectly-in-tact election system itself.

Obama continues to work diligently—between golf trips—to smack someone on the wrist in his remaining less-than-three-weeks. Israel may be stalling too much to receive a good slap; instead, he went after the adversary who outsmarted him time and again, including this time: Putin.

In life, many of us know what we have lost, but few of us ever learn to know when we have lost.

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Faux Report

Carrie Fisher’s Ghost Reportedly Spotted On Hollywood Boulevard

fisher

LOS ANGELES, California – 

Star Wars fans have been hanging around Hollywood Boulevard for the last two days, after a man says he saw Carrie Fisher’s ghost hanging around downtown.

“It was the craziest thing I’ve ever seen,” said Mario Lewis, who is on vacation from Idaho. “There was this gorgeous woman, and she was dressed as Princess Leia from the Star Wars movies. I walked over to her and my eyes just bugged out. It was Princess Leia! It was the ghost of Carrie Fisher, and it made my life seeing that.”

Although so far no one else has seen Ms. Fisher’s ghost appear in Hollywood – or anywhere else – a rabid fanbase of Star Wars nerds have been wandering all over Hollywood, hoping to catch a glimpse.

A homeless woman, Marlene Simmons, who has lived in Hollywood her whole life, says that the tourist is just an idiot.

“There’s no damn ghost here. Never was of any other celebrity, sure as shit wouldn’t be of Carrie Fisher, neither,” said Simmons. “That damn fool just got confused because there are always people out here on the Boulevard, dressed up as characters from movies and what not. Dumbass saw a woman dressed like Princess whoever, got himself all riled up. Now get yo’ ass out my face. You’re standing in my bathroom.”

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