Tag Archives: vaping

Faux Report

Teens Who Vape More Likely To Be Made Fun Of Than Those That Don’t, Study Finds

vaping

BOSTON, Massachusetts – 

A new study conducted by Harvard University shows that teens who “vape” are more likely to be made fun of than kids who do not. The study was performed over the last year, and monitored a group of 200 teens aged 15 to 19.

“Of the group, 100 of the kids were vapers, or kids who smoke using vape pens, etc.,” said that study chairman, Mick Horn. “Those kids were asked to vape in front of the other 100 kids, who proceeded, of course, to call the vape kids a slew of names, including ‘faggot,’ ‘tool,’ ‘loser,’ and ‘asshole,’ among others. When the study was flipped, the vape kids really had nothing to say about the non-vapers.”

According to his findings, Horn says that kids should decidedly not take up vaping, unless they like being made fun of.

“There’s really no point to vaping, short of smoking while looking like an extra douche bag,” said Horn. “I think that my study conclusively proves that.”

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Faux Report

Vaping May Save Your Lungs, But E-Juice Shown To Cause Diabetes

vaping

GERALD, Florida – 

Over the last few years, many people have turned to vaping, or smoking e-cigarettes to help them quit smoking, or to ween of regular cigarettes. Although many people have said that vaping has help them to stop smoking, new studies are showing that instead of lung cancer, people who vape are more likely to contract type-2 diabetes.

“Do people even look at what is in the e-juice that they fill their vape machines with?” asked Dr. Emmett Brown of Harvard Medical College. “I mean, the ingredients in almost every single type we tested was nicotine and sugar. If it happened to be the nicotine free type of juice, then the ingredients were listed as sucralose and water – sugar water.”

Vaping has become increasingly popular in the last few years, but as more and more people take up the habit, the rate of type-2 diabetes in smokers has gone through the roof.

“Last year, in my clinic, we studied 200 people who were interested in quitting smoking. They began vaping, and all of them got of cigarettes,” said Dr. Brown. “Although this is a marvelous thing, every single one of them is also now a diabetic, and have to go on insulin and a special diet.”

Major vape companies, such as CoolVapesNow.com, have said that there is “no way” that their product causes any illnesses in its users.

“It’s just water vapor, man. I don’t know why everyone is getting so worked up about it,” said CoolVapes owner Myles Jones. “Vape on, that’s what I say. Vape on, bros.”

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