Tag Archives: terrorists

Faux Report

Terrorists Sending People Infected With ‘Black Death’ To U.S. As Form of Chemical Warfare

blackdetah

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

The CDC has released a warning for doctors to screen patients with flu-like symptoms for the pneumonic plague, after ISIS has threatened biological warfare.

The disease, caused by a bacterium called Yersinia pestis, most often is transmitted to humans through rodent flea bites or by handling infected animals. Pneumonic plague differs from bubonic plague in its symptoms and the fact that it can be spread through the air rather than just by contact.

Unlike bubonic plague, pneumonic plague can be spread from person to person. According to the CDC, “Pneumonic plague affects the lungs and is transmitted when a person breathes in Y. pestis particles in the air.”

Usually associated with the massive waves of “black death” that swept across Europe during the Middle Ages, the plague still occurs occasionally in the United States, though it is treatable with modern antibiotics.

Although the disease is treatable, terrorists may try to catch people off guard. Pneumonic plague is one of the most pathogenic microbes in the world. Symptoms are sudden and similar to a violent flu, followed by lessions in the groin, armpit, and neck lessons. Eventually the fingers and toes turn black from lack of circulation followed by uncontrollable seizures and death within 36 hours. The CDC advises anyone with these symptoms insist they are tested for pneumonic plague.

Standard
Faux Report

Post-Terrorist Attack, Brussels Still Officially #SaferThanATrumpRally

trumprally

BRUSSELS, Belgium – 

Social media has been abuzz the last few weeks with the hashtag #SaferThanATrumpRally, with many folks listing some absurd and dark places that are safer to be than at a Donald Trump rally.

After the attack in Brussels, Belgium, most would assume that they’d rather be anywhere else, but according to social media, even the terrorist-attacked city would be a better place to be than with any view of Donald Trump.

“I’d rather be in Brussels with a shirt with a target on it that says ‘fuck you, Muslim scum’ than ever set foot at a Trump rally,” said New York resident Joel Miller. “I was downtown during 9/11. Scariest time of my life. I’d rather live that all over again, too, than ever be at a Trump rally. The man, and his minions, are mindless, soulless villains.”

As with all tragedies, everyone is standing with Brussels, and an onslaught of support has appeared from all corners of the globe, with many users on social media changing their pictures to a photo of the flag of Belgium in solidarity.

“Donald Trump is a nightmare. I’ve seen people get punched in the face while simply standing still, peacefully, at one of his rallys,” said Maryanne Lewis of Detroit, Michigan. “I’d sooner throw beer and ham at a Muslim holding an AK-47 with TNT strapped to his ass than be at a Trump rally. These are terrifying times, both in the US and abroad.”

Standard