WASHINGTON, D.C. –
Ted Cruz was arrested Thursday morning at his home in Washington after what police are calling a “massive” investigation that has spanned nearly a year.
According to reports, the FBI and local law enforcement have been investigating a huge sex ring in the D.C. area, and on Thursday they arrest nearly 200 people involved in the operation, from bookkeepers to prostitutes to their pimps.
One of the names of the arrested stands out more than others, as it appears Ted Cruz was arrested along with the rest of the lowlifes, allegedly for pimping girls for the last several years.
“Oh man, Daddy Cruz, Big Daddy Cruz he likes us to call ’em, ohh, he’s a good daddy to me and my girls,” said bottom bitch Diamond Glitter. “I been working for Mr. Daddy Cruz for about 10 monfs, and he just always been da best. He don’t hit me, nothing like that. I ax him for something, he usually give it. No other pimp treat me dis good before.”
According to Diamond, Cruz was bringing in an estimated $45,000 a month in his cut from the massive number of women he pimped, with a lot of politicians being clients.
“I aint’ allowed to talk about who my mouf been on, but it’s pretty damn near much all them politician guys in the White House,” said Diamond. “They pay a lot, tip big. Business been good as hell to me. This really damn sucks we all going to jail.”
Cruz was arrested and released on $100,000 bail. Neither he nor his lawyers could be reached for comment.