Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, January 18, 2021

America is primed for a dictatorship. Trust in the legislature is at an all-time low. The proven-larger voter bloc feels disenfranchised. The proven-larger voter bloc has an undue, almost cult-like respect for the executive. In the minds of that voter bloc, once one election is allowed to be stolen, there will be no future elections. To the proven-larger voter bloc, this is a crisis.

The inauguration this week is set to be surrounded by a military under control of a disenfranchised president who will not be there. That’s not exactly a recipe for safety. The president made a major document dump, severely discrediting his opposition. Now, come reports of martial law in the planning. That may be necessary to undo a stolen election, but it is never best and is always dangerous.

Some of the demonstrators who broke into the Capitol now ask for a pardon from Trump—truly believing they were following what he wanted. They stand no chance of receiving a pardon. They allowed themselves to be led like sheep to the slaughter, merely used for political grandstanding. And, that president who won’t pardon them calls for more respect toward police, something else in a recipe for martial law. It would be surprising if we don’t end up there, and it will be dangerous either way.

Democratic voters have been set up for shock if Trump remained in office, no matter how it could happen. They have been told by the media that the election is finished merely on the basis of saying so—despite half of the country not being convinced. Conservatives recognize this recipe for danger; Liberals do not.

The blame for America’s situation falls on all of us. We failed to convince our neighbors that we can listen. If Trump is in the midst of any conspiracy, then both parties in Congress were in on it, along with the media. His own son-in-law doesn’t want him talking to his own supporters on Gab. If anyone is conspiring anything nefarious, it isn’t Trump, but someone close to him. If Biden could get into power, it would take a political miracle. Most importantly, this was all made possible by we, the American people—those of us who respected a fallible man too much, those of us who hated a mere man too much, those of us who thought rules could be broken without backlash, and those of us who failed to teach otherwise. We’ll start to figure it out in the days and months ahead.

President Trump Pardons Himself For Years of Sexual Assaults and Abuse

trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

President Trump pardoned himself this morning for what he says are years of “alleged” sexual assault accusations, as well as rumblings of abuse. Despite the President not being formally charged with any crimes, many women have accused him of sexual misconduct over the years, all of which he has denied.

“In the wake of my good friend, Mister Harvey Weinstein, being viciously attacked by the media over abuse charges, I felt it was time to act in advance of any legal or civil charges being lobbied my way,” said President Trump. “Although I adamantly deny that I have ever been sexually inappropriate with any woman, especially the ugly ones who always accuse me of doing so, I have fully pardoned myself of any and all crimes and charges.”

While it was pointed out to the president that he could neither pardon himself, nor could he pre-pardon someone for crimes they have not been charged with, Trump remained steadfast in his decision that he had been fully pardoned.

Faux Report

President Trump Has Invited O.J. Simpson To Visit The White House Upon His Release – You Won’t Believe Why!

simpsontrump

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

President Trump has said that he plans to have convicted felon O.J. Simpson to the White House upon his release from prison, which should be sometime in October. Simpson, who has been in prison for nearly 9 years, is reportedly a “good friend” of the President, and Trump has said he has a “special job” for the former NFL superstar and comic actor.

“The Juice and I, we go way, way back, and now that he’s getting out, I want to make sure he knows that he will always have a friend here, so I am going to give him a full pardon, and offer him a job on my staff,” said Trump.

The President said he plans to completely wipe away Simpson’s prison record, which means he would not have any sort of parole specifications he has to meet, and would be as free as anyone else.

“I hope to offer O.J. a job as my personal assistant within the White House,” said Trump. “I strongly believe that it is something he would be great at. I have a lot of special assignments for him.”

Faux Report

President Trump ‘Pre-Pardons’ Himself For All Crimes He Plans To Commit While in Office

pardon

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

In a major move by a sitting president, Donald Trump has “pre-pardoned” himself before he commits any crimes while in office.

“There is a good chance, if I continue on the track I’m going, that there are going to be a lot of different crimes happening, and a few of them will be pretty serious,” said Trump in a statement to the press. “So I’ve taken measures to protect myself and my cabinet from prosecution should the crimes happen.”

A sitting president has, for the most part, the legal ability to pardon nearly any criminal they wish, but it is used very sparingly. This is the first time a president has ever pardoned themselves. The ACLU has a team of lawyers confirming the legality of Trump’s pardon.

“We really don’t think this is legal at all,” said ACLU president Carl Grover. “We are looking into it. It’s such a stupid thing, no one has ever done it before, we’re not even sure how well it can hold up. But knowing Trump, he’s probably changed or removed enough other laws to somehow make this legal. He’s clearly the king of the loophole.”

Faux Report

President Obama Arrested For Drunk Driving Returning From New Year’s Eve Party

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

According to police reports, President Barack Obama was arrested for drunk driving on his way back to the White House from a New Year’s Eve party in Baltimore.

The president, who normally is driven by secret service members, apparently become severely intoxicated at the home of a family friend, and snuck away from his bodyguards by climbing out of a bathroom window.

“The President jumped from a second story window after throwing up in the [unnamed friend’s] bathtub, and stole a car from their garage,” said police chief John Wiggin. “When he was pulled over, he had a blood-alcohol level of 2.0, and was driving 95mph down the wrong side of the road. He’s insanely lucky no one was hurt.”

The incident took place at approximately 7pm, and the President was reportedly sleeping it off in a Washington, D.C. jail cell. Police say it is highly likely the Obama will pardon himself of his crimes, as he has done several times during his presidency.

Pacific Daily Times

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Encore of Revival: America, January 18, 2021

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President Trump Pardons Himself For Years of Sexual Assaults and Abuse

President Trump Has Invited O.J. Simpson To Visit The White House Upon His Release – You Won’t Believe Why!

President Trump ‘Pre-Pardons’ Himself For All Crimes He Plans To Commit While in Office

President Obama Arrested For Drunk Driving Returning From New Year’s Eve Party