Faux Report

Mother Of Baby Mocked By Internet Memes Says She Would ‘Kill Internet Bullies’

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HENDERSONVILLE, Texas – 

Ann Meyer’s says she is wants to kill the internet bullies who are being cruel to her 4-year-old son, Jameson. He has a rare genetic disorder, causing wide set eyes and a smushed face similar to internet meme Grumpy Cat. His face was used by the internet in a cruel meme making fun of his appearance. It continues to circulate throughout social media, although Meyer has some success in getting it taken down on several occasions.

Jameson was diagnosed with Pfeiffer syndrome, also referred to as craniofacial syndrome, when he was still a baby. The rare genetic disorder impacts growth of the bones in the skull, hands and feet, and sometimes causes neurological defects. Jameson is intellectually normal, but trapped behind a face only a mother could love.

“I told Jameson, ‘we’ll kill them with kindness.’ What else can I do?” says Meyer. “Sure I’d like to whack those cruel bastards in the face with a shovel, but the internet is filled with hateful people like that. Where would I even start?”

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Faux Report

Teen Blinded After Taking Advice From Gag Meme On Facebook

blind

BRIDGTON, Maine –

Tanya Herson, 17, has reportedly blinded herself after putting jalapeño slices directly over her eyes in a misguided beauty technique. A meme she had seen on Facebook said it would get rid of puffy eyes. Although it started to burn almost immediately, she assumed that was a sign that it was working.

Her mother, Deanna, says she “heard Tanya screaming bloody murder,” but at first did not know what had happened.

“Tanya couldn’t tell me what happened. Her eyes were red and swollen. I thought it was an allergic reaction to some kind of makeup, so I had her flush out her eyes in the shower and called 911,” said Deanna.

By the time paramedics arrived, Tanya had completely lost sight in both eyes. Later she told her mother she had seen it in a meme.

“There needs to be someone monitoring the internet,” says Tasha’s mother. “We can’t continue to allow our fake news to hurt our impressionable children.” Deanna says she is looking into suing Mark Zuckerberg for her daughter’s medical bills, as well as pain and suffering. “He owns the website, and the website let someone post this horrible information. If he’s not to blame, I don’t know who is.”

 

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