Tag Archives: mask

Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, August 2, 2021

Fear. Pandemic protests are global. News narratives frustrate the White House. Germans and Aussies detest prevention measures. 600 were detained in Berlin. Meanwhile, Taiwan is down from a whopping 500 new cases in one day to 12. They wear masks, and check in at stores by either scribbling a name and phone number on a scrap of paper or sending a QR-code text message, then using a body-temperature hand-sanitizer combo machine. While the West divides in two paranoid groups, each calling the other paranoid, Taiwan re-opens dine-in restaurants.

Elections have consequences. They are coming, sooner for California, where a Democratic governor may have fallen out of favor and faces a recall vote. Trump raised lots of money—after losing in an election to many documented rule-breaking and suspicious-resulting precincts, in concert with Republicans who certified the rule-breaking precincts. Why would anyone suspect that Republicans helped voter fraud steal an election from one of the most popular and war-ending presidents of all time? It’s not like their party made $100M from his fundraising after he lost. No wait, they did.

That’s the problem with conspiracy theories. Most of them blame the wrong guy. If masks and other virus measures were part of a conspiracy theory, the theory should include the absolute necessity of public panic from both kinds of kooks. Without the vaxxers and anti-maskers fearing each other, America might have its numbers down to where Taiwan has. And, any election conspiracy theory should include that the RNC saw a profit in losing—just as they have for many decades.

It only grows more evident—the answers to America’s problems aren’t in any flavor of kookery, but in dropping fear and division so as to see the bigger picture.

Trump

Pelosi: Access to former President Trump’s tax returns is a matter of national security.
IRS must turn over Trump tax returns to Congress, DoJ says // Guardian

Election

Will Trump be spoiler as California GOP seeks Newsom recall? // AP

Trump Has Built War Chest of More Than $100 Million // MSN News

Pandemic

COVID-19: CECC reports 12 cases, two deaths // Taipei Times

Because everyone should keep wearing masks, right?
‘President Biden absolutely declared a victory too soon,’ Leana Wen says // Yahoo News

Australia deploys helicopters & soldiers to order people to GO HOME in one world’s strictest Covid lockdowns // The Sun

‘So why the panic? Why new mask mandates? Why no common sense?’
Cover: INSANITY! These squares equal 161M vaxxed US residents… .0007% died (July 30, 2021) // NY Post

Berlin protesters decry coronavirus measures; 600 detained // AP

Delta variant: White House frustrated with ‘hyperbolic’ and ‘irresponsible’ coverage // CNN

Florida coronavirus cases jump 50 percent in one week // The Hill

Sports, Hip Hop & Olympics

Olympic Medal Count: See Who Has Won the Most Gold and Overall // NBC New York

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Faux Report

Donald Trump Halloween Mask Is Biggest Selling Item In History

LAS VEGAS, Nevada – 

Nevada Halloween Company, located just outside of Las Vegas, began producing a new mask this year that they dubbed “Dummy Politician.” Of course, it’s clearly a likeness of Donald Trump, even if they’re not specifically saying so. Regardless of the gag, though, the mask has shocked the world, going viral, and becoming the number one biggest selling item of all time – of and item.

“It’s not just the biggest selling Halloween mask,” said Derek Jones, president of Nevada Halloween. “We’ve sold more masks than Apple has iPhones. More than Budweiser has sold beer. We’ve sold more of these masks than anyone has ever sold of anything…ever. It’s truly a triumph for our little company.”

According to Jones, the company has sold over 7 billion of the masks, almost enough for every man, woman, and child in the world to go as a “dummy politician” for Halloween.

“It’s really astounding how many we’ve sold, but what’s more astounding is that a lot of people write in to thank us for selling such an ‘American’ product, and that they’re happy we’re doing our part to ‘Make America Great Again,'” said Jones. “I don’t get it. For one, America is already great. Saying we need to make it great again would imply it’s not currently, and that’s not true at all. And two, the mask is called ‘dummy politician.’ How stupid are these voters?”

 

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Faux Report

‘World’s Ugliest Woman’ Married To Man Who Wore Mask ‘To Make Wife Feel Pretty’

mask

JASMINE, Florida – 

The world’s ugliest woman, Joanne Jones, 32, was married last week to a man who obviously has no desire to be named publicly, but who spoke to Empire News about their lavish wedding.

“I married Joanne because although she may have the most hideous face in the world, she has a rockin’ body and she sucks like a champ,” said Jones’ new husband. “I wore a mask because I wanted her to feel pretty for just one day, at least. I mean frankly, it didn’t work. I still looked better in that mask that she did, but you know, she was happy. And because she was happy, I had one hell of a wedding night.”

“I was pretty sad when I was named Guinness’ ‘World’s Ugliest Person,’ but you know, it’s not that bad, really,” said Jones. “I do lots of speaking engagements. Public appearances. I make decent money doing that. And now I have true love. He definitely loves me, more than anyone ever has. He even wore that mask just to make me feel pretty. And that’s pretty awesome.”

“Make no mistake, I’m only with her because she’s a hell of a screw and makes good money and lives in a nice house,” said Joanne’s husband. “I went out with her on a bet, went to bed with her on a bet, shit I married her on a bet. The mask is, really, so no one knows who I am. I don’t want to be outed.”

“I love him so much,” said Joanne. “He’s the best.”

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