Tag Archives: grosses

Faux Report

Ryan Reynolds Says He Won’t Return For Deadpool Sequel

Ryan Reynolds Hit By Car While Filming 'Deadpool,' Destroys Car With Bare Hands

LOS ANGELES, California –

Ryan Reynolds was born to play Deadpool, in the way the Robert Downey Jr. perfectly encompasses the role of Tony Stark in Iron Man. With the new Deadpool movie bringing in a record-breaking quarter of a billion dollars in its worldwide opening weekend, Fox was keen on quickly green-lighting a sequel, but sadly, there is one person who won’t be returning.

Ryan Reynolds says that he will not be singing on for a second Deadpool film, after realizing that the part was going to put way too much pressure on his everyday life.

“I’ve been an actor for years, and I’ve always had a good time with it,” said Reynolds. “Problem is, not that I’ve played a character in a movie people have actually seen, I haven’t had a moment to rest, and it’s frustrating.”

Reynolds had been personally trying to get a Deadpool film made for years, and it took over a decade for Fox to agree to not only make the film, but make it geared towards adults, letting it receive the MPAA’s R-rating. Reynolds says that he’s glad the movie is doing so well, but he can’t be part of another one.

“Someone else can easily take over, because most of the film I’m in a suit, and when I’m not, my face is covered in burn makeup,” said Reynolds. “I really want to go back to just being an actor that people sort of recognize, but pass by on the street without having to stop and take a selfie with.”

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Faux Report

‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ Becomes First Film To Make $100 Billion Dollars At Box Office

star wars

HOLLYWOOD, California – 

Star Wars fever has hit the world hard, after the latest installment, The Force Awakens, has crossed the $100 billion dollar mark in worldwide grosses, blowing away the previous box office champ, Avatar, which grossed only about $2.5 billion.

“Honestly, I’m shocked that the movie did so well,” said the director, JJ Abrams. “No one seemed to care too much when I reinvigorated Star Trek, so I didn’t have super high hopes for Force. Plus, all we really did was remake the first film, so seriously, it’s crazy that people are plopping down money to see it 15 or 20 times.”

Based on worldwide grosses, the studio behind the film, Disney, says that they estimate that every single human being currently alive on the planet has seen the film at least once, and that several babies – who won’t even be born until the new year – may have already seen it as well.

“It’s really the only way the film could have done so much money,” said Disney CEO Mike Laird. “I mean, think about it like this. Titanic was the number one film at the box office for almost a dozen years, at just over 2 billion dollars. Then Avatar knocks that out with just under 3 billion. And now, here comes Force, which brings in a whopping $100 billion? I mean, that’s insane, right? There are 8 billion people in the world, and with average ticket prices at around $12, that means everyone, everywhere has seen the movie.”

Although those numbers add up, that’s likely not the case, according to box office analysts.

“More likely, it’s the same handful of nerds who’ve gone and see the movie 40 or 50 times in IMAX, which have ticket prices closer to the $20 range,” said Box Office Mojo writer Gil Morrison. “I can honestly say I haven’t seen it, and probably never will. I mean shit, who cares?”

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