Faux Report

Water May Become As Expensive As Oil Soon In Some Parts Of The World

water

The average person does not think twice when he turns on the water for a shower, a drink or to clean his hands. We have all enjoyed access to clean, fresh water for years without a single worry. Unfortunately, this is likely to change in the future. Already in parts of the world like the Middle East and Africa, clean water can be harder to get than oil.

One proposed solution is to mine ice from the icecaps, since they are melting into the oceans anyway, and ship them to places like Saudi Arabia in exchange for it.

This is only going to get worse across the globe, as ecologist Bridget Bishop explains, “If humanity fails to limit population growth, wars will inevitably be fought for access to fresh water just like they were fought over oil in the 20th century. It is not prudent use of massive amounts of water to maintain lush green golf courses throughout the year. If we continue our wasteful ways, water could eventually become even more valuable than oil.”

Politicians, economists, demographers and just about anyone else “in the know” agrees that access to clean and fresh water will soon become humanity’s most important challenge. This is precisely why water will be treated like oil was in the 20th century.

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Faux Report

Glacéau SmartWater Plans To Mine Antarctic Ice Caps For Fresh, Colder Water

smartwater

NEW YORK CITY, New York – 

SmartWater, everyone’s favorite overpriced bottled beverage, say that they now have plans to mine into the melting antarctic ice caps so that they can get water that is more fresh, and always ice cold.

“The ice caps in Antarctica are melting, thanks mostly to global warming,” says Glacéau CEO June Hastings. “Because of this, we are able to get up there, and get some of the coldest, most refreshing water on the face of the planet, and it will become our next level of SmartWater brands.”

The company says that they are “overjoyed” with the effects of global warming, because it has led them to be able to get this water that would otherwise be unattainable.

“Currently, you’re paying $2 or $3 a bottle for our product, and it’s basically filtered tap water,” said Hastings. “With this new colder water, which is more expensive to mine, expect for that price to rise substantially, but for it to be totally worth it.”

 

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