Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, March 23, 2020

https://youtu.be/jIIGZZOx0b0

Revival has returned. It's not in the streets yet and evil hasn't fled. But, revival has landed and is making its way across the country. Chicago rings church bells five times a day. Everywhere, Americans look up and ask whether God is trying to get our attention.

Duh.

As they were once called in the 80s, the "Kansas City Prophets" always said that God's judgments are merely intended to help us love more. Pain removes everything that limits our capacity to love and receive love. When crisis hits, we examine our priorities and look deep inside, hoping to have the one thing that matters most. And, we find it in our hearts. Of all the things we gain and lose in the world, the one thing we hope to have when everything else is shaken is our ability to still love. Once we find that we still have that ability, no matter how small, we feel like the richest in the world, having remembered that truly, all that matters is love.

Revival has returned.

The Communist Chinese thought that by refusing to supply America with pharmaceutical ingredients, panic would spread across America. But, they were as wrong as the Grinch who thought he could steal Christmas from Whoville.

As crisis rises, not from a virus as much as our overreaction to it, America is returning in full swing to its core. Maybe we'll learn to ditch our drama. Maybe we'll learn a happy medium between our two favorite poles of fear and apathy. Even as we decide, small companies and neighbors are helping each other. We're seeing America at its best, just as it is during any time of crisis. We return to God, revival returns in return, and, like a giant rousing from its sleep once again, the American machine of love-in-crisis is in full swing.

Revival has returned.

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Faux Report

20 Million Gallons of Fresh Water Accidentally Spilled Into Flint, Michigan River

flintwater

FLINT, Michigan – 

According to the EPA, an accidental spill of over 20 million gallons of fresh, clean, filtered drinking water was spilled into the Flint, Michigan river, where the town’s horrendous drinking water comes from.

Thousands of citizens rushed to their kitchen faucets, and were extremely pleased to find that a lot of the yellow and brown color was fading away, and that almost all of the smell was removed from the water.

“It’s a miracle, really. A true miracle that this happened,” said Flint resident Michael Moore. “Normally I go to my tap, and I mostly get piss-colored swill water, but now it’s almost clean! You pray and pray for accidents like this to happen, and then my God, dreams come true.”

According to the Flint chapter of the EPA, a railroad car filled with over 20 million gallons of water derailed last week, spilling into the town’s drinking supply.

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Faux Report

Flint Residents Urged To Boil And Drink Their Own Urine During Michigan Water Crisis

water

FLINT, Michigan – 

The small town of Flint, Michigan has had a serious problem with polluted drinking water for the last few years, but the problem has recent reached epic proportions after national news outlets picked up the story, making people aware of the lead-filled river water that residents have been drinking.

Diseases and sickness have caused multiple hospitalizations and even several deaths since the city’s government began telling people that the water was safe to drink, despite its brown and yellow color when straight from the tap. Because of the national media attention, the city officials have decided to recant their statements about the water’s safety, and instead suggests that residents boil and drink their own urine.

“It is much, much safer for you to urinate into jars, bottles, or jugs, boil it, and then drink that,” said Flint city council member Roger Lewis. “You can drink your own urine up to three times before it becomes poisonous, but that is still safer to drink than the river water we’ve been saying was safe for the last few years.”

Residents are currently being given water from other states by the US government, but they must show a valid Michigan license with a Flint address on it to qualify, as well as provide a social security number. Flint city council members say that the water crisis may not end for some time, and that they will continue to research methods for residents to obtain water, including saving saliva and sweat for possible use.

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