Faux Report

Smoke From Wildfires Expected To Cause Thick Haze Across Entire Country

wildfires

CALIFORNIA –

Scorching heat and tinder-dry conditions across the west have contributed to massive wildfires in the past week that have destroyed properties and sent residents to seek shelter and hope for the best. Even those who do not live in areas affected by wildfires will likely still be impacted as the smoke disperses and causes record levels of haze across the United States.

Several large wildfires in the United States are producing smoke that is being transported for hundreds of miles. The National Weather service has posted Red Flag Warnings for areas in California and Wyoming, saying the smoke may be so bad it blocks out the sun in some areas. Residents as far as Utah have seen thick black smoke traveling from California.

According to Bill Gabbert of Wildfire Today, the real problem is the pollution. “Wildfire smoke tends to bind with other smog particles like sulfur oxides, car exhaust, and ozone. This weights the smoke down, making it a slow moving menace.”

Although the haze will be significant, it will be high enough in the atmosphere that people will notice the obscured sun, but not be affected by the pollution.

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Faux Report

Eminem To Record Album Of Country Song Covers

Eminem Gives One Million Dollars To Homeless Man

DETROIT, Michigan

Marshall Mathers, best known by his stage name Eminem, has said that his next album will be entirely compromised of cover songs, with all of them being songs straight out of Nashville.

“I’m one of the biggest selling artists of all time, and the top selling rapper, but there are a lot of other musical genres out there that I haven’t stuck my feet into,” said Eminem. “Country is the most popular music there is. It outsells rap or rock 10 to 1. So it’s time I got in on that action, and my next album will be very country.”

Originally when it was announced, fans and reporters assumed that the album would be rap covers of country songs, but as news has spread, Eminem has clarified that the album would not be rap at all, it would be straight-up country music.

“I don’t know how to write country lyrics, because I haven’t often fucked my sister or sat in the back of a pick-up truck drinking from a red cup, but I know what loss feels like, and I know what it means to be poor white trash, so that’s why I’m going country,” said Eminem. “These will be covers of other popular country songs, and they will be amazing. You’ll see.”

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