Tag Archives: Zika

Faux Report

Florida High School Shut Down After Zika Outbreak Infects Hundreds

MIAMI, Florida – 

In the most intense infection of any recent epidemic, a Miami high school has had to shut its doors after a student who was infected with Zika spread the virus to over 100 students.

“It’s crazy how fast it happened, and there wasn’t anything anyone could do,” said Principal Jack Miller. “The student didn’t know he was infected. Apparently he got it from his family’s illegal maid. Once he came in sick, the place was destroyed faster than Europe during the plague.”

The local Miami chapter of the CDC was called in last Monday to evacuate and quarantine the building. All the students are being forced to stay home for their own safety. Of the 107 confirmed cases of the infection, 32 of the kids and teens were hospitalized. So far, none of the teachers or staff have shown any signs of infection.

The school says they may not be able to open for several months, and that many of the students will have to repeat the school year.

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Faux Report

Zika Virus Spreading Through United States Via Mosquitos

virus

UNITED STATES – 

The mosquito-born Zika virus is rapidly spreading throughout the Americas and is expected to soon reach the Southern United States.

CDC representative James Levine, M.D. warns, “This virus is like a combination of malaria and Lyme disease. Symptoms include fever, rash, fatigue, joint pain, conjunctivitis, and temporary paralysis. We also suspect a relationship between the Zika infection and malformations and neurological birth defects. We recommend that any that suspect they may have been afflicted with the virus delay pregnancy for at least two years.

“Although the disease has been around since 1947, it is suspected that God Almighty caused a mutation which makes transmission easier and the effects more severe.”

Residents of Florida and Georgia are advised to be on alert as early as April 2016. Since the Zika virus is spreading so rapidly through mosquito populations, the CDC warns there is a chance the virus will have reached each side of the country, from Oregon to Maine, by August.

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