CONCORD, New Hampshire – 

The state law board in New Hampshire has ruled that no retail store will be able to open their doors on the day after Thanksgiving, the shopping ‘holiday’ known as Black Friday. According to state representatives, the number of massive injury or deaths has steadily increased over the last 10 years, and they are trying to “lower the possibility” of anything happening.

“Last year, we had 2,000 injuries and 178 deaths statewide in relation to Black Friday shopping,” said NH State Representative Dan Miller. “We had no choice but to shut it down for this year.”

Miller says that the plan is to make sure that all stores are closed from midnight on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving until 7AM on the Saturday following.

“This way, people will not get trampled in dangerous stampedes just to get their hands on a $199 TV or some such nonsense,” said Miller.

When asked if he thought that the “Black Friday” madness would just get pushed to Saturday, causing the injuries or deaths later in the weekend, Miller responded that they “hadn’t thought of that,” and just encouraged more people to stay home and shop online.