Faux Report

China Creates Ministry Dedicated to Reminding the World That Japan Is Bad

NANJING — To commemorate the 77th anniversary of the Nanjing Massacre, China’s State Council has established an entirely new ministry dedicated to reminding the world that Japan is bad.

Aptly named the Ministry of Japan Is Bad, the organ is responsible for constantly reminding the world about Japanese atrocities during World War II, releasing daily reports about whether Japan as apologized sufficiently for said atrocities, and tracking which Japanese politicians have visited or are planning to visit the Yasukuni Shrine.

“We must not forget the atrocities committed by the Japanese government any more than we should remember those committed by our own.”

“Too long has Japan suppressed the truth regarding its involvement in World War II,” said newly appointed Japan Is Bad Minister Wang Hongwen. “Since the Japanese will not, the task of vouchsafing the historical truth for future generations falls to us.”

Though the ministry was only established two days ago, it has hit the ground running.

According to a preliminary budget, the ministry intends to construct a Nanjing Massacre memorial in every country, encourage primary schools around the world to reenact the massacre on its anniversary, and ensure the availability of Japanese flags in China for burning, impromptu protests or other anti-Japanese activities.

In related news, the State Council established another ministry over the weekend dedicated to suppressing the knowledge of the Tiananmen Square protests.

When asked about the apparent hypocrisy, Wang said, “We must not forget the atrocities committed by the Japanese government any more than we should remember those committed by our own.”

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