Editor’s Note: This opinion piece was penned by a longtime Empire News reader, and submitted to our op-ed department.

In 2020 when our nation’s savior, Donald Trump, had the election stolen from him by ol’ Sleepy Joe, I was incensed. I voted for Trump. Everyone I know voted for Trump. It was clear that nobody had voted for Joe “Older than Dirt” Biden, and that this entire election process was a farce, and the nation was having the wool pulled over its eyes by a demonic Democratic left.

With that in mind, I did what any patriotic American nationalist would do, and I started an online business selling Anti-Biden merchandise. My best seller has always been the “F— Joe Biden” t-shirts with a picture of Biden’s ghost-like face being slapped by the mighty hand of President Donald J. Trump. But that’s not the only item I had in my store, not by a long shot. We sold “F— Biden” mugs, “F— Biden” hats, and even had a pretty decent seller in “F— Biden” teddy bears for the kids. I was really raking it in.

Had Biden continued his bid for re-election, I could have easily expected another 6 months of sales, at a minimum. When Trump takes office after this election, I could have even gotten another few months post-transfer of power, if Trump had beaten Biden. Now that is all thrown out the window. He’s not beating Biden anymore, and with his announcement about dropping from the race my sales have gone from over $175 a day down to literally zero. I’m sick over this.

I’ve already sunk tens of thousands of dollars into my “F— Biden” merchandise, and it’s not even possible for me to return it to the Chinese manufacturer who produced it for me. My simpleton of a wife suggested I just cross off Biden and write Harris, but that would be dumber than my decision to marry that bitch in the first place. If I wasn’t busy trying to find a lawyer to sue Joe Biden over dropping out and ruining my livelihood, I’d be looking for a good divorce attorney. But I digress…

Whenever someone says to me that Joe “The Jerk” Biden has helped build the economy up since Trump left office, I seethe to the point of drooling all over myself with anger. Yeah, Biden has done so much for the economy that he has literally killed my business. Good job, Joe, you piece of wrinkly old paper.

There’s clearly only one thing to do this November, and that’s not vote at all. No, that’s not a mistake. I mean I can’t vote for Trump again – he’s the oldest candidate in the history of the country, and he’s already been shot once. He’s not making it four years, and then we’d be stuck with that absolute bell-end of a baby, J.D. Vance as our president, and I’d rather slice open my own testicles and eat the innards than have that happen. We know I can’t vote for Harris, because she’s a black woman and even if her policies make sense in almost every instance, that goes against everything I stand for as a mostly-racist, white, Sunday Christian who works a blue collar job while wearing a red hat in middle America.

So thank, Joe Biden, you old ass bitch. You ruined my business, you ruined my country, and most of all, you’ve left me with $135,000 worth of “F— Joe Biden” teddy bears.