AUGUSTA, Maine –

“We want him kicked out of office!” A recent poll showed that 95% of Maine citizens think impeachment means to kick a politician out of office, while in actuality it means to charge with misconduct, treason, or crimes against the state.

Protester Ashely Poulot says, “He’s a douche. We should impeach him. It’s as simple as that.”

Governor Lepage says of that this movement is a result of the tougher welfare laws he helped put into place in Maine.

“Almost a third of the people in this state are on welfare. Guess what? They’re too lazy to work, and they’re certainly are not going to make an effort to get off the couch to vote or do anything!” claimed LePage. “Sure, there are a few loonies freezing their tail feathers off outside the capital, but in the words of the great Bernie Mac, ‘I ain’t scared.’ Those retards standing there protesting in 2 degree weather are the exception, not the rule.”

LePage is currently on the campaign trail in support of Chris Christie for some reason.