Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, July 8, 2019

Trump's tanks were unimpressive—that's what Russian pundits think, anyway. Bringing out these old, beat-up, partially-disassembled relics of past victory and sacrifice proves nothing important. Parades should tout the latest, most intimidating, most high-tech muscle the military can muster. By all those standards, Trump's parade flopped. Instead, he celebrated America's heart and heritage—all things unimpressive in the eyes of Russians pining for their old imperial days of glory gone bye.

The Left, on the other hand, thought it was too much. JFK and Clinton celebrating bravery with marches and fly-overs were good, until Trump did it, then they weren't. Perhaps next year's Independence Day could host a bilateral talk between the Left and their recently-estranged Russian comrades.

Russia and America's Left weren't the only ones trying to tell Trump what to do. A leak from Britain's Daily Mail shows disdain from the ambassador of the failed administration. Some suspect an attempt to influence fast-approaching election politics in the UK by painting Trump as the villain. More likely is a rogue, self-appointed hero who doesn't like the manners of movers and shakers, pretending that his experience as an ambassador means his personal value for fecklessness should "trump" the White House, as it were.

Newt was the most out-spoken for Trump. He thinks not invading Iran was smart and that Trump is making all the right decisions on his successful path to re-election 2020.

Some important things happened in Civil Rights. The Republicans missed two great chances on these.

California finally passed a law, more or less, seeming to clarify what kinds of haircuts are natural for Black people. Though it doesn't fit with the conventional Right of 20 years ago—always turning away from "touchy-feely" laws—it's about time. What is wrong with Black people wearing dreads, anyway? Dreads are the easiest way for Black people wear their hair if they don't go to the barber every other day. Why was this political and why was the law needed? The reason is probably because most White people don't know that Black people need an entirely different kind of clippers at the barber shop. Some sad Republican politician who didn't know as much just might complain about Cali, then lose his seat in 2020.

A DA in Philly won't fine people in poverty beyond restitution anymore. Crime will be prosecuted, of course. Damages must be paid, of course. But, there's no point in fining someone $1,000 who can't pay rent and barely affords a car that's worth less. Such a fine would effectively make the sentence an eviction. Current laws might as well say, "This crime is punishable by two weeks income if you're middle class, an afternoon round of golf if you're rich, and eviction if you're poor." Why didn't Republicans make criminal and traffic fines proportional to income already? With the income gap gaping so wide, fines shouldn't be measured in dollars, but in percentages. Some Republican politician probably won't know that either.

Speaking of Republicans, Justin Amash of Grand Rapids' district in Michigan took Independence Day to announce his independence from the RNC. His statement appeared as an Op-Ed in the Washington Post. Maybe he'll be the one to start the People's Party.

Whether it's the communists in Russia and America quibbling about tanks in parades, getting Republicans to get along, being aware that Black and White people have different hair, or considering that flat fine rates aren't fair, America has a lot to learn. We're learning, we've come a long way in 243 years, we're not there yet, but we're inching along alright. We're inching along.

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Faux Report

President Obama Signs Law Making It Illegal To Smoke In Cars With Underage Passengers

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

Starting in October 2016, it will be illegal to smoke in a car (or other vehicles) with anyone under 18 present. The law is being created to protect children and young people from the dangers of secondhand smoke.

Both the driver and the smoker could be fined $80 each. The law applies to every driver in the entire country, and to any private vehicle that is enclosed wholly or partly by a roof. It still applies if people have the windows or sunroof open, have the air conditioning on, or if they sit in the open doorway of the vehicle. The law won’t apply to a convertible car with the roof completely down.

“Children breathe faster than adults so they are much more exposed to the dangers of second-hand smoke. Their airways, lungs and immune systems are still developing so are much more at risk from harm,” said President Obama. “We want children to grow up free from harm and we need parents to understand why smoking in vehicles is so dangerous. 80% of smoke is invisible so even if you think you are being careful you cannot see where the smoke is going.”

Big Tobacco said that they are “not worried” about the law, and that their steady sales will continue.

“People will just smoke in other places now, like in their homes, continually blowing smoke in the faces of their children,” said Marlboro spokesman Mario Luigi. “It’s how I grew up, and I’m totally fine.”

 

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