BETONVILLE, Arkansas – 

Walmart Stores, Inc. has reportedly filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy as of the first of January, after announcing that they would be closing over 100 stores nationwide, with over 10,000 employees being laid off. The bankruptcy comes as the company, the world’s largest employer, has steadily lost sales over the years to online retailers like Amazon.

“We can’t compete with Amazon, we’re not even close to their pricing on nearly anything,” said Walmart spokesman George Glass. “These online stores, they’re killing us. I work for the world’s largest company, and I only made $92,000 last year. How am I supposed to feed my family on that? We have filed for bankruptcy in hopes of restructuring the company and regaining the stranglehold – excuse me, I mean foothold – that we’ve had in the marketplace for the last 4 decades.”

Walmart employees say that they are the ones who are going to be hardest hit by this restructuring, which will more than likely include closing of several hundred more stores, leaving thousands more out of work.

“It’s just like when I worked for Ames. Then I worked for Circuit City. Then RadioShack. All these companies are becoming more and more obsolete every day,” said Walmart store manager Phil Angel. “At this point, I think the only thing really to do would be go and work at Amazon. Give it another 5 years, and there won’t be physical stores anymore for anything. Shit, I even do my grocery shopping on Amazon, and I work in a Walmart store with a grocery department – Amazon has better deals, even with my 6% employee discount!”