Tag Archives: clothes

Faux Report

Shocking Photos Surface Of Miley Cyrus With Her Clothes On

 

miley

LOS ANGELES, California – 

After a series of business-as-usual nude photo shoots for magazines such as Plastik, as well as extremely erotic costumes during her performances and tours, a slew of shocking photos have surfaced that are making Miley Cyrus fans take to social media in a vile and violent outrage.

“I cannot believe the photos that she gets away with sometimes, but this new set of pictures that is all over the web is disgusting, and it’s sickening,” said Marc Jacobs, 24. “I am a Miley Cyrus fan from way back, and I’ve stuck with her as a fan through a lot of scandals, but I just don’t think I can deal with these new pictures of her with her clothes on.”

According to her publicist, Marsha Williams, Cyrus’ new pictures were something that were never intended to see the light of day, but were leaked by a freelance photographer.

“Miley has a very unique and very specific kind of persona, and we have worked very hard to develop that,” said Williams. “These photos of her with her clothes on were never meant to be seen. They were taken in a weak moment, and Miley had ordered them destroyed. We are extremely upset that anyone has viewed these completely safe-for-work, totally boring photos. We are currently considering taking legal action against the photographer who leaked the photos.”

According to Williams, a new series of extremely graphic photos of Miley posing nude will more than likely hit the web soon in an effort to erase the “boring photos” from the minds of anyone who has seen them.

 

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Faux Report

Sexy Woman Makes Fortune Bottling Her Sweat, Selling It To Lonely Men

sweat

JAMAICA PLAIN, Massachusetts – 

A former aerobics instructor, Jasmine Smith, says she has made over $1 million dollars after she started a business bottling her own sweat and selling it online.

“To be honest, I don’t know what the people who purchase it are using it for, and I don’t really ask,” said Smith, 24. “It all started after a private workout lesson I was giving a few years ago. The guy who paid for the lesson pulled me aside after, and asked if he could take my sweaty towels and clothes. I was super hesitant at first, but he paid me $400 for them, so I let it go.”

Smith says after that, the man visited several more times, and began paying higher figures.

“After that, I just sort of took to the internet to see if this was something I could do all the time. Turns out, there’s a big market for the sweat of sexy young women,” says Smith.

Reportedly starting her ‘business’ on the website Reddit, Smith says that she has about 300 “very dedicated” customers who buy her bottled sweat, old towels, workout clothes, and underwear.

“I will keep doing this as long as I can, as long as the men think I’m sexy enough to buy my sweat,” said Smith. “At this rate, I’ve already paid off my college loans, my car, and put down a large payment on a new house. The sweat has really been sweet.”

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