Faux Report

Hottest Summer On Record To Hit By May, Buy Your A/C Units Now

temperature

PHOENIX, Arizona –

Meteorologists are predicting the hottest summer in the history of recorded temperatures, with most of the United States expected to be steadily in the 100+ degree range by the middle of May, with temperatures topping nearly 150 in some areas by August.

“If you don’t have several new, good, working air conditioning units in your home, then I’d go out and buy them immediately,” said meteorologist Joel Simmons, who works for WMUX TV out of Phoenix. “We are already seeing temperatures in the 80s. By next month, you’re going to be melting, and I’m almost being literal.”

As global warming reaches new heights, the weather is expected to stay steadily dry, which will add to the warm feeling.

“Even as temperatures hit over 100 degrees, it’s going to feel even hotter. You do not want to get stuck not having air conditioning, no matter where you live in the country,” said Simmons. “A normal pricing for an air conditioning unit is anywhere from $100 to $300 dollars. You can bet those prices will be triple or more this year.”

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