Devotionals, Letters

The Fighter’s Regrets

Have you ever woken up with a song floating through the fog in your mind? Sometimes I think that’s just an echo of a dream or a memory, particularly if it’s a song I’ve heard or sung recently.

How about a song from your ancient history in your mind as you woke? I actually pay more attention to these; there’s less chance that it’s just my subconscious expressing itself.

I’d like to share one of these with you. You may find the process interesting, but I believe the lesson might apply to several of us.

Recently, I woke up with a song from my youth playing in my mind, and trust me, that’s from a long time ago. The song had nothing to do with the dream as far as I could tell, and I could only remember snippets of it – really only one phrase.

But that phrase kept replaying in my mind: that caught my attention. And as it replayed, my memory of the lyrics grew. This also suggested to me that this might be from God. So I spoke with Father about it, acknowledging that I thought he might be up to something; I asked for insight, and I paid attention as the memory of the song replayed and expanded in my mind.


Some themes began to stand out in the lyrics that kept playing in my memory. One of them definitely seemed to have the fragrance of my Father about it, so I meditated on that one. That is, I thought about it; I let it roll around in my mind to see what might come from it.

When my mind began to warm up (you know, I really appreciate the fact that God invented coffee!), I fired up Google and looked into it a bit more. And I realized that even after my memory had been playing it back for an hour or two, I had remembered only one verse out of five; the rest hadn’t come back to me, though those verses had actually been more important to me when the song was new.

Here’s the song: https://youtu.be/MYPJOCxSUFc. It’s called The Boxer, by Simon & Garfunkel. It was the last verse alone that spoke to me through the morning fog:

In the clearing stands a boxer
And a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of every glove that laid him down
And cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame
“I am leaving, I am leaving”
But the fighter still remains*

This verse had literally never made sense to me, but suddenly, there was a message in it for me.

It speaks to me, but I’d like to share it with you, because I suspect it might speak to other, too, and maybe that includes you.

I confess: I’m a man of fairly strong conviction. I stand up for those convictions, and it’s not inappropriate to say that I fight to maintain them. If I believe something to be true, I’ll fight to defend it.

Father gently pointed out that I, too, carry reminders of those fights, reminders, I suppose, every glove that laid me down or cut me till I cried out. I’ve paid a price to defend my convictions. Like the fighter in the song, the price has been paid in several areas of my life: in my memories, in my body carrying the stress, in the solitude that comes from having lost relationships.

Then he drew my attention to the fighter’s vow, and that I’ve made vows like that as well: “I am leaving, I am leaving” but I don’t leave. I remain. I still defend my beliefs, my convictions, and I’m still laid down and cut up sometimes. I’m still wounded from the fights that I am convinced are right and good. And they still bring the fruits of “anger and shame” into my life, just like they did in his.

(Didn’t someone say “You shall know them by their fruit”?  Hmmm....)

This is something that’s come partly from my character (I believe that standing up for “what is true” is important), partly from my youth (I was taught that truth is important and should be stood up for).

But this fight may have been fanned into the biggest flame from my years in Bible-believing churches. “This is what I believe to be true, so I must defend it at all costs.” We teach that, we believe that, in many evangelical churches, and while we defend different truths in denominational churches, we still defend them vigorously.

Think about how Christians respond when a movie comes that we don’t like out (remember Russell Crowe’s Noah?). Consider how Christians respond to “The Homosexual Agenda” or to political candidates, or to the abortion issue.

We’re taught to fight. And we do fight. Vigorously.

And let’s be honest. We don’t win these fights. Hollywood’s marketing now counts on “Christian outrage” as a publicity tool for their controversial movies, and they’re always right. Christians have not affected “The Homosexual Agenda” that we’ve stood against, abortion is still a very big business, and we’ve never once had an Evangelical believer in the Whitehouse, despite our fights on those issues.

The world knows: Christians are fighters. They don’t win, but they sure will fight. Behold how much they fight.

Father hasn’t been talking to me at this time about the issues in themselves. He’s only been using them to illustrate the fight, to illustrate the blows and the cuts that so many of us have taken in the fights.

Then he drew my attention to the refrain:

“Lie-la-lie. Lie-la-lie-lie-lie-lie-lie, Lie-la-lie
Lie-la-lie-lie-lie-lie-lie, lie-lie-lie-lie-lie.”*

Oh my. It’s right there. I’ve sung this haunting refrain with Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel, and I never saw it: there’s a lie here, and the refrain rubs my nose in it. That’s a lie, lie lie!

There’s perhaps some room for discussing what the lie is. The song itself identifies one:

“He cried out
In his anger and his shame
“I am leaving, I am leaving”
But the fighter still remains.”*

And I’ve done that. I’ve declared that I’m quitting this fight. But I haven’t really done it. I’ve lied. I’ve gotten tired of being beaten up, tired of the anger, tired of the shame, and I’ve tried to quit the fight. And I’ve failed.

As Father comforted me in this, I realized that for a fighter, the fight is a choice. It’s an option, but only one of several options. I don’t actually need to fight.

As he held me and murmured his love for me, I realized that these are not fights that have helped me, or have helped the Kingdom, not even a little bit.

I occasionally have “won” a fight, but what was the result? Maybe I could say I won, that I defeated someone who believed differently. So what? Now they’ve been defeated, now they’re wounded, too. And now they resent me, and worse they resent my message, and they resent the truth that I fought for.

You know, I don’t think anybody’s ever been bullied into receiving the truth, have they? Oh, sure, we’ve bullied people into actinglike they know the truth, but that’s just equipping them for hypocrisy. That’s not a win, not really, not for anybody.

For myself, I’m going to reflect on this for a while. I’m wondering if I might actually defend my beliefs better by walking them out than I would by fighting for them. I don’t know. I’ll think about it.

I may not need to be a fighter, alone in the clearing. I may not need to be laid down, cut open. I may not need to subject myself to the anger and shame.

The Kingdom is not about any of this, is it?

Lie la lie….

----

* From "The Boxer," by the American music duo Simon & Garfunkel from their fifth studio albumBridge over Troubled Water (1970) ©1969
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Columns, Devotionals

Trusting God When Things Go Wrong

We've all had one of those days...or one of those weeks. You know. Everything seems to be going along fine and then you have a little bad news. So you take a deep breath, tell yourself that this might not be as bad as it sounds, and you keep going.

And then you get another little set back. So you pause and regroup a little and you realize that the first thing added to the second thing is causing you to be a little more upset than you might otherwise. And you brush back your hair and carry on.

And then a third thing happens and you just have to go sit down and take a moment. Or a day or two. Ha!

Life can throw us come curves and some of them are small and some of them big. Some of them are small but they get a lot bigger in our minds than is necessary.

When these things happen, I remind myself that my wonderful Father knows everything. He knew these things were coming. He knew what was going on when I didn't. He sees all and He loves me. Nothing ever catches Him by surprise. He has even planned ahead of time.

He always has a solution, He always has an answer, He always has my back.

And then I always ask myself, "How would He want me to react? How does God see these things?"

Sometimes, trust is a lot bigger than faith. Sometimes our faith might just be a way of controlling things. And then when things don't go as we planned, do we lose faith?  Hopefully, our 'trust' kicks in. Trusting that God is always trust-worthy.

Yvonne, at StoneGable had a wonderful post the other day about what to do when you're having a bad day. I would really encourage you to read it because she was spot on.  I told her that I would have added one more thing - singing our praise to God.

When everything seems like it's going wrong, I start singing my praise to God.  I sing really loud. I sing loud enough to chase all the demons and doubts and fears away. And then I 'stomp.' I'm not kidding. I stomp around my house and sometimes I wave a banner and I shout and declare that NO weapon formed against me shall prosper!

And I do this until my eyes are firmly back on Jesus. I remind myself of all the good things He has done in my life. I count my blessings and thank Him for every single one of them.

And I make sure that I'm not upset over bad things that CAN happen and that might NEVER happen. I remind myself that giving it to God changes everything!

And then I vacuum. I use all my attachments. And I get every single little dust bunny and scrap of stuff that's in my house. My family likes this stage because then they can't hear me singing. ;)

love and blessings~





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Columns, Devotionals

Trusting God When Things Go Wrong

We've all had one of those days...or one of those weeks. You know. Everything seems to be going along fine and then you have a little bad news. So you take a deep breath, tell yourself that this might not be as bad as it sounds, and you keep going.

And then you get another little set back. So you pause and regroup a little and you realize that the first thing added to the second thing is causing you to be a little more upset than you might otherwise. And you brush back your hair and carry on.

And then a third thing happens and you just have to go sit down and take a moment. Or a day or two. Ha!

Life can throw us come curves and some of them are small and some of them big. Some of them are small but they get a lot bigger in our minds than is necessary.

When these things happen, I remind myself that my wonderful Father knows everything. He knew these things were coming. He knew what was going on when I didn't. He sees all and He loves me. Nothing ever catches Him by surprise. He has even planned ahead of time.

He always has a solution, He always has an answer, He always has my back.

And then I always ask myself, "How would He want me to react? How does God see these things?"

Sometimes, trust is a lot bigger than faith. Sometimes our faith might just be a way of controlling things. And then when things don't go as we planned, do we lose faith?  Hopefully, our 'trust' kicks in. Trusting that God is always trust-worthy.

Yvonne, at StoneGable had a wonderful post the other day about what to do when you're having a bad day. I would really encourage you to read it because she was spot on.  I told her that I would have added one more thing - singing our praise to God.

When everything seems like it's going wrong, I start singing my praise to God.  I sing really loud. I sing loud enough to chase all the demons and doubts and fears away. And then I 'stomp.' I'm not kidding. I stomp around my house and sometimes I wave a banner and I shout and declare that NO weapon formed against me shall prosper!

And I do this until my eyes are firmly back on Jesus. I remind myself of all the good things He has done in my life. I count my blessings and thank Him for every single one of them.

And I make sure that I'm not upset over bad things that CAN happen and that might NEVER happen. I remind myself that giving it to God changes everything!

And then I vacuum. I use all my attachments. And I get every single little dust bunny and scrap of stuff that's in my house. My family likes this stage because then they can't hear me singing. ;)

love and blessings~





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Devotionals, Letters

The Missing Diamond Rings

Some time ago, Jane & her husband John had difficulty connecting heart-to-heart with the people of their little country church. So they decided to invite folks to their home. That went so well that they made a habit of it, inviting folks from the church, and from the neighborhood to their small home for a meal and to talk about life, and how God relates with them.

One week, Jane was cleaning her home for the guests expected later that afternoon, and she took her diamond wedding rings off and put them onto her ring holder on her dresser. They were pretty large diamonds; they’d belonged to her husband’s grandmother, and they were every bit as special as they were valuable. One thing led to another, and she forgot them there when guests started arriving.

There were several new people, lots of good food, and excellent conversation. Throughout the night, individuals would excuse themselves to use their bathroom, which was accessed through the master bedroom, right past the dresser.

Jane didn’t remember her rings until they’d farewelled their last guest, and sat down to unwind. As soon as she remembered, she jumped up to check her rings, while John did the dishes and put chairs away.

As she rushed to her bedroom, she instantly saw that her ring holder was empty: her rings were gone! She burst into tears, remembering the many people, many of whom she didn’t know, marching past her precious rings, all alone in the bedroom, where anyone could slip a ring in a pocket. She searched the dresser, the floor, the bathroom, in case they’d fallen somewhere, but found nothing. One of her guests must have taken them. Now they were gone forever. 

She fell on her bed, weeping. John heard the tears, and took extra time with the dishes, so Jane had time to share her broken heart with the Lord, and that unleashed a fresh wave of tears. She was creating quite a wet spot on her bed quilt, and still she poured her heart out.

As her tears faded away, a black cloud of discouragement started to take its place in her heart. Those rings were family heirlooms, and she’d failed in her care of them. Now she’d never be able to pass them on to her daughters and granddaughters. The black cloud began to settle over her heart.

But before the cloud had completely settled in, a small voice whispered, “Check the quilt.”

Hunh?

“Check the quilt.” Then no more came.

She sat up and looked around. This quilt had also been in her family for generations. It had been hand-sewn by one of her great grandcestors as her wagon train made its way to the Northwest.

Check the quilt? What could he mean by that? She looked more closely at the quilt, noting the even stitching, not noticing the great wet spot from her tears. Eventually, she worked her way to the corners: her grandcestor had sewn a few coins into each corner so that the quilt would lay flat. It felt like four quarters in each corner.

“You’re getting warmer.” More of a thought than words. She examined the four corners, wondering what she should do next. Eventually, with a mental shrug, she got her seam ripper from her sewing kit, and, gritting her teeth, she opened the stitching holding the quarters in place.

Working carefully, to do as little damage to this family heirloom, she opened the seam, and four quarters fell into her hand. Her eye caught the nineteenth century date on the top quarter, and thought about her ancestor’s sacrifice to make the quilt. She picked up the top quarter with her other hand; the one beneath it was even older.

Now interested in the dates, she picked up the next quarter, and there, in her hand, between the coins from a century earlier, were her diamond rings that had just gone missing this afternoon.

She wept some more, but these were tears of joy.





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Devotionals, Letters

The Missing Diamond Rings

Some time ago, Jane & her husband John had difficulty connecting heart-to-heart with the people of their little country church. So they decided to invite folks to their home. That went so well that they made a habit of it, inviting folks from the church, and from the neighborhood to their small home for a meal and to talk about life, and how God relates with them.

One week, Jane was cleaning her home for the guests expected later that afternoon, and she took her diamond wedding rings off and put them onto her ring holder on her dresser. They were pretty large diamonds; they’d belonged to her husband’s grandmother, and they were every bit as special as they were valuable. One thing led to another, and she forgot them there when guests started arriving.

There were several new people, lots of good food, and excellent conversation. Throughout the night, individuals would excuse themselves to use their bathroom, which was accessed through the master bedroom, right past the dresser.

Jane didn’t remember her rings until they’d farewelled their last guest, and sat down to unwind. As soon as she remembered, she jumped up to check her rings, while John did the dishes and put chairs away.

As she rushed to her bedroom, she instantly saw that her ring holder was empty: her rings were gone! She burst into tears, remembering the many people, many of whom she didn’t know, marching past her precious rings, all alone in the bedroom, where anyone could slip a ring in a pocket. She searched the dresser, the floor, the bathroom, in case they’d fallen somewhere, but found nothing. One of her guests must have taken them. Now they were gone forever. 

She fell on her bed, weeping. John heard the tears, and took extra time with the dishes, so Jane had time to share her broken heart with the Lord, and that unleashed a fresh wave of tears. She was creating quite a wet spot on her bed quilt, and still she poured her heart out.

As her tears faded away, a black cloud of discouragement started to take its place in her heart. Those rings were family heirlooms, and she’d failed in her care of them. Now she’d never be able to pass them on to her daughters and granddaughters. The black cloud began to settle over her heart.

But before the cloud had completely settled in, a small voice whispered, “Check the quilt.”

Hunh?

“Check the quilt.” Then no more came.

She sat up and looked around. This quilt had also been in her family for generations. It had been hand-sewn by one of her great grandcestors as her wagon train made its way to the Northwest.

Check the quilt? What could he mean by that? She looked more closely at the quilt, noting the even stitching, not noticing the great wet spot from her tears. Eventually, she worked her way to the corners: her grandcestor had sewn a few coins into each corner so that the quilt would lay flat. It felt like four quarters in each corner.

“You’re getting warmer.” More of a thought than words. She examined the four corners, wondering what she should do next. Eventually, with a mental shrug, she got her seam ripper from her sewing kit, and, gritting her teeth, she opened the stitching holding the quarters in place.

Working carefully, to do as little damage to this family heirloom, she opened the seam, and four quarters fell into her hand. Her eye caught the nineteenth century date on the top quarter, and thought about her ancestor’s sacrifice to make the quilt. She picked up the top quarter with her other hand; the one beneath it was even older.

Now interested in the dates, she picked up the next quarter, and there, in her hand, between the coins from a century earlier, were her diamond rings that had just gone missing this afternoon.

She wept some more, but these were tears of joy.





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Devotionals, Letters

The Law Of The Spirit Of Life In Christ Jesus Has Made Me Free From The Law Of Sin And Death.


In the New Testament times, the biggest threat to the New Covenant was “The Circumcision Party,” also known as the Judaizers. They were trying to drag New Covenant believers back into the bondage of the Old Covenant Law.

That’s still happening today.

There are people all over social media, in every congregation, working to drag free believers back into bondage to the Law. Sometimes they’re aware that they’re bringing people under the bondage of the Law, but most of the time, they’re not aware that they’re being a tool for bondage: they’re just excited about things that they can DO that the Bible described as once being about being part of a covenant with God. They’re excited about their works.

Nowadays it’s not so much about circumcision. These days, the Judaizers appear to be most often focusing on the Old Covenant dietary laws, or Old Covenant holidays. “Keep the Father’s commands!” they say. “Jesus followed these laws!” they say.

They conveniently miss the fact that the Old Covenant was still in play when Jesus walked the earth. So yeah, he mostly followed those laws. The New Covenant wasn’t in place until his Resurrection, and the Old Covenant was completely annihilated in the Destruction of Jerusalem in 70AD (as the Bible foretold).

But the modern Judaizers teach, “Torah means direction, teaching, instruction.” The literal word “torah” means “teaching,” yes.

But the application of the word “Torah” is “Old Covenant Law.” They say, “This isn’t a ‘Law.’ It’s just how God wants us to live.”  

But this is the very thing that Paul preached against over and over again: the attempt to bring free New Covenant believers under the bondage of the Old Covenant Law. It’s been the same with the Pharisees in Jesus’ day and in Paul’s day and in our day.  

And when people teach, “Following these “teachings, instructions” will make God happy with you,” or “...will get you closer to God,” they’re replacing the grace of God with the works of man. They’re teaching a very literal anti-Christ doctrine. This IS the Anti-Christ spirit that the New Testament warns believers against. These are the ones about whom Paul writes, “I wish those who are disturbing you might also get themselves castrated!”

Let’s say it clearly: Anyone who teaches that keeping this bit of the Old Covenant Law will please God is, by definition, teaching that your works are what pleases God. But Scripture teaches that it’s Jesus’ works, not yours or mine, that connect us with God.

So when someone pressures you to not eat bacon because it’s against Father’s commands, whether intentionally or not, then they’re working to drag you away from your freedom in Christ and back into the bondage of legalism, of the Law of a dead covenant. If you don’t want to eat bacon, don’t eat bacon. But don’t do it to please God. That’s rubbish.

So when someone encourages you to celebrate an Old Covenant holiday because that’s a thing that God wants us to do, then whether intentionally or not, they’re working to drag you away from your freedom in Christ and back into the bondage of legalism, of the Law of a dead covenant. If you want more excuses to celebrate, then have a grand time. But don’t do it because it was part of the Law. That’s a dead-end road.

So when someone declares tattoos to be ungodly because it’s against Father’s commands, then whether intentionally or not, they’re working to drag you away from your freedom in Christ and back into the bondage of legalism, of the Law of a dead covenant. If you don’t like tattoos, that’s fine. But don’t hold up “Leviticus says so!” as a reason.

Just say no to returning to the Law. Just say no about returning to the jail that used to hold you tight.


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Devotionals, Letters

The Law Of The Spirit Of Life In Christ Jesus Has Made Me Free From The Law Of Sin And Death.


In the New Testament times, the biggest threat to the New Covenant was “The Circumcision Party,” also known as the Judaizers. They were trying to drag New Covenant believers back into the bondage of the Old Covenant Law.

That’s still happening today.

There are people all over social media, in every congregation, working to drag free believers back into bondage to the Law. Sometimes they’re aware that they’re bringing people under the bondage of the Law, but most of the time, they’re not aware that they’re being a tool for bondage: they’re just excited about things that they can DO that the Bible described as once being about being part of a covenant with God. They’re excited about their works.

Nowadays it’s not so much about circumcision. These days, the Judaizers appear to be most often focusing on the Old Covenant dietary laws, or Old Covenant holidays. “Keep the Father’s commands!” they say. “Jesus followed these laws!” they say.

They conveniently miss the fact that the Old Covenant was still in play when Jesus walked the earth. So yeah, he mostly followed those laws. The New Covenant wasn’t in place until his Resurrection, and the Old Covenant was completely annihilated in the Destruction of Jerusalem in 70AD (as the Bible foretold).

But the modern Judaizers teach, “Torah means direction, teaching, instruction.” The literal word “torah” means “teaching,” yes.

But the application of the word “Torah” is “Old Covenant Law.” They say, “This isn’t a ‘Law.’ It’s just how God wants us to live.”  

But this is the very thing that Paul preached against over and over again: the attempt to bring free New Covenant believers under the bondage of the Old Covenant Law. It’s been the same with the Pharisees in Jesus’ day and in Paul’s day and in our day.  

And when people teach, “Following these “teachings, instructions” will make God happy with you,” or “...will get you closer to God,” they’re replacing the grace of God with the works of man. They’re teaching a very literal anti-Christ doctrine. This IS the Anti-Christ spirit that the New Testament warns believers against. These are the ones about whom Paul writes, “I wish those who are disturbing you might also get themselves castrated!”

Let’s say it clearly: Anyone who teaches that keeping this bit of the Old Covenant Law will please God is, by definition, teaching that your works are what pleases God. But Scripture teaches that it’s Jesus’ works, not yours or mine, that connect us with God.

So when someone pressures you to not eat bacon because it’s against Father’s commands, whether intentionally or not, then they’re working to drag you away from your freedom in Christ and back into the bondage of legalism, of the Law of a dead covenant. If you don’t want to eat bacon, don’t eat bacon. But don’t do it to please God. That’s rubbish.

So when someone encourages you to celebrate an Old Covenant holiday because that’s a thing that God wants us to do, then whether intentionally or not, they’re working to drag you away from your freedom in Christ and back into the bondage of legalism, of the Law of a dead covenant. If you want more excuses to celebrate, then have a grand time. But don’t do it because it was part of the Law. That’s a dead-end road.

So when someone declares tattoos to be ungodly because it’s against Father’s commands, then whether intentionally or not, they’re working to drag you away from your freedom in Christ and back into the bondage of legalism, of the Law of a dead covenant. If you don’t like tattoos, that’s fine. But don’t hold up “Leviticus says so!” as a reason.

Just say no to returning to the Law. Just say no about returning to the jail that used to hold you tight.


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Columns, Devotionals

Motives

The Lord put this on my heart to write a few days ago and very honestly, I hesitated. Since then, He's given me two confirmations and I am repenting and writing as fast as I can. :)

I hesitated because this post felt a little harsh but sometimes the Lord corrects us sternly with a desire to bless us.

Several years ago the Lord spoke to me about 'motives.' Since then, I've examined my motives before I do most anything...blog, speak to someone, go somewhere, etc.  I believe the Lord cares about our motives more than He cares about our good works.

I believe that if our motives are not pure in what we're doing, the work will be burned up. In other words, we may as well not have done it. If our motive is to appear Godly, to have someone else think well of us, or to promote ourselves, we need to stop and get our hearts right before we do anything else.

If our motive is manipulation, we're really in trouble, because control and manipulation are a form witch craft.

Proverbs 16:2 says, "All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight, But the LORD weighs the motives."

For some, this may be a new thought. They've believed that it was a given - that they should go to church, that they should attend the Bible study, that they should take that family a meal - but if the motive is not pure, we've gained nothing in God's eyes.


I think it's very easy for us to be influenced by a society where everyone wants to be a superstar, where everyone wants to be recognized on social media, and where humility and servanthood are not things to be desired. But it's desired by God. 

Matthew 6:3 tells us, "But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing," We are to keep our good works secret, not flaunt them, and certainly not seek recognition for the things that God deserves all the glory for.
A few years back I was in a relationship with a pastor and his wife. I knew the Lord had put me in their church as an assignment. I was asked to be part of their worship team.

I typically start every day with worship. And so even before church on Sunday mornings, I was in the practice of spending time with God in worship and in His Presence. I had an opportunity to share this with this pastor, and his response was, "How long do you have to do this before you get into God's presence?" He saw this as a means to an end. His desire was not for God but for the benefits of God.
The Lord would later show me this man from His eyes. The man had a spirit of selfish ambition and I saw the word, "devour."
Philippians 2:3,4 says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

This is to be our motive; that we first are glorifying God and then that we are seeking the good of others and never hoping to advance ourselves. 

love and blessings~



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Columns, Devotionals

Motives

The Lord put this on my heart to write a few days ago and very honestly, I hesitated. Since then, He's given me two confirmations and I am repenting and writing as fast as I can. :)

I hesitated because this post felt a little harsh but sometimes the Lord corrects us sternly with a desire to bless us.

Several years ago the Lord spoke to me about 'motives.' Since then, I've examined my motives before I do most anything...blog, speak to someone, go somewhere, etc.  I believe the Lord cares about our motives more than He cares about our good works.

I believe that if our motives are not pure in what we're doing, the work will be burned up. In other words, we may as well not have done it. If our motive is to appear Godly, to have someone else think well of us, or to promote ourselves, we need to stop and get our hearts right before we do anything else.

If our motive is manipulation, we're really in trouble, because control and manipulation are a form witch craft.

Proverbs 16:2 says, "All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight, But the LORD weighs the motives."

For some, this may be a new thought. They've believed that it was a given - that they should go to church, that they should attend the Bible study, that they should take that family a meal - but if the motive is not pure, we've gained nothing in God's eyes.


I think it's very easy for us to be influenced by a society where everyone wants to be a superstar, where everyone wants to be recognized on social media, and where humility and servanthood are not things to be desired. But it's desired by God. 

Matthew 6:3 tells us, "But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing," We are to keep our good works secret, not flaunt them, and certainly not seek recognition for the things that God deserves all the glory for.
A few years back I was in a relationship with a pastor and his wife. I knew the Lord had put me in their church as an assignment. I was asked to be part of their worship team.

I typically start every day with worship. And so even before church on Sunday mornings, I was in the practice of spending time with God in worship and in His Presence. I had an opportunity to share this with this pastor, and his response was, "How long do you have to do this before you get into God's presence?" He saw this as a means to an end. His desire was not for God but for the benefits of God.
The Lord would later show me this man from His eyes. The man had a spirit of selfish ambition and I saw the word, "devour."
Philippians 2:3,4 says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

This is to be our motive; that we first are glorifying God and then that we are seeking the good of others and never hoping to advance ourselves. 

love and blessings~



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Devotionals, Letters

Two GOOD Trees in the Garden

A friend asked a really good question recently: Why the heck was the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil in the middle of the Garden in the first place if it was evil? Wasn’t the Garden perfect?

He got me thinking! (I love it when that happens!)

Knowledge of good and evil is a fine thing. But it’s a lousy way to live my life. It’s a poor choice for First Place in my life.

I suspect that AFTER Adam & Eve had eaten of the tree of life (like they were supposed to), they would have understood how to use the tree of knowledge of good & evil properly. That knowledge, when rooted in Life, would be useful.

I look at that whole scene as a choice for How I’m Going To Live Life. Am I going to choose to feed on stuff that brings life? Or am I going to choose to feed on the rules: right & wrong, good and evil, obedience & disobedience. Which principle is the foundation for my life.

Any time I build my life on knowledge, I’m in trouble. Paul said “Knowledge puffs up.” He didn’t say, “Knowledge of sin puffs up” or “Knowledge of popular movies puffs up.” It’s knowledge itself – if that’s the foundation for my world, I’m in trouble.

Worse, if I build my life on judging what’s good and what’s evil, I’m in greater trouble. There’ll be a day for that, and we do play a (minor) part in it, but that’s a hideous foundation for my life.

On the other hand, if I’m building my life on bringing life – to myself, to people around me – then knowing what’s right & wrong has its place. In that situation, the knowledge of good and evil can be used to bring life.



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Devotionals, Letters

Two GOOD Trees in the Garden

A friend asked a really good question recently: Why the heck was the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil in the middle of the Garden in the first place if it was evil? Wasn’t the Garden perfect?

He got me thinking! (I love it when that happens!)

Knowledge of good and evil is a fine thing. But it’s a lousy way to live my life. It’s a poor choice for First Place in my life.

I suspect that AFTER Adam & Eve had eaten of the tree of life (like they were supposed to), they would have understood how to use the tree of knowledge of good & evil properly. That knowledge, when rooted in Life, would be useful.

I look at that whole scene as a choice for How I’m Going To Live Life. Am I going to choose to feed on stuff that brings life? Or am I going to choose to feed on the rules: right & wrong, good and evil, obedience & disobedience. Which principle is the foundation for my life.

Any time I build my life on knowledge, I’m in trouble. Paul said “Knowledge puffs up.” He didn’t say, “Knowledge of sin puffs up” or “Knowledge of popular movies puffs up.” It’s knowledge itself – if that’s the foundation for my world, I’m in trouble.

Worse, if I build my life on judging what’s good and what’s evil, I’m in greater trouble. There’ll be a day for that, and we do play a (minor) part in it, but that’s a hideous foundation for my life.

On the other hand, if I’m building my life on bringing life – to myself, to people around me – then knowing what’s right & wrong has its place. In that situation, the knowledge of good and evil can be used to bring life.



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Devotionals, Letters

God Teaches a Teetotaler About Beer.

I grew up in a “dry” household. My family never drank alcohol. We didn’t vilify it, we just didn’t consider it, though occasionally at big family dinners at Grandma’s, my parents and other adults would drink something red out of goblet. They made funny faces when they drank it, so I wasn’t real eager to try it.

I grew up and learned religion. So of course, my home was a dry household. And then I worked for a pastor who never taught that alcohol was evil, but he surely acted as if it were, and expected his staff to as well. It started me thinking.

Eventually, we had children in our alcohol free home, and it was good, of course. Until God intervened.

On one of my regular retreats, on a solo camping trip, God woke me up in the middle of the night and warned me that I was failing my children. OK. he had my attention.

I crawled out of the back of the pickup where I was sleeping so I wouldn’t fall asleep in the middle of our conversation. Sure enough, the little voice, the impression in the back of my head continued:

“In a few years, your children will be entering junior high school. They won’t be out of your influence, but there will be many other influences there. Some of them, and you know what this is like, will invite them to discover beer, to discover drunkenness.”

And then he dropped the big one. “And you’ve done nothing to prepare them for that temptation.”

My heart sank. I knew he was right. But he didn’t let me sink there. After a moment or two, my mind began to fill up with perspectives and ideas and insights.

One of them caught me seriously off guard. He reminded me that I loved barbecue, but I was frustrated: a great steak was NOT complimented by a glass of milk, or by a CocaCola.

And then he tied them all together: “I want you to discover beers, good beers. I want you to find out what you like, and what you don’t. And I want you to invite your family to join you in that discovery.”

Oh my. Seriously?

But then I had visions (pictures) of what could happen. I saw better barbecues which led to better fellowship. I saw my children - my family - separating themselves from the religious spirit that accompanies alcohol-free homes. And then I saw my son, in junior high school, being approached to step behind a barn and share a Budweiser with him, and my son responded with, “Beer? That’s not beer. Let me tell you about beer!”

Oh my. I remind you that this is in the middle of the night, in the middle of the woods. I remind you that while I had tasted beer before (and not liked it), I had never had a glass of beer. I remind you that I was really comfortable in my no-alcohol religion.

And here’s God, telling me not just to drink beer, but to become educated about beer. And God was telling me to (gasp!) give beer to my school-age children, and to (gasp!) listen to their opinions about the stuff!

That was fifteen or twenty years ago, and it has been a glorious success (as if it’s surprising that God’s plans work!). I became a far better father than I had been before! And the beer? I had no idea of the variety. I still don’t love all kinds, but there are some that are pretty good, and there are some that make a good barbecued steak into a great barbecued steak. Who knew!

Oh, and that vision about my son telling his tempter, “Beer? That's not beer!” Yeah, that happened, though it looked different than the way I imagined it. And now he brings both life and excellence into a world I'd never reach, to people for whom alcohol is pretty important.

I’m not trying to say, “You need to drink beer!” Oh heck no! Don’t do that (unless God speaks to you the way he spoke to me). My obedience included learning about beer, but others' obedience involves not drinking beer.

I’m trying to say, “It’s a really good idea to do what God says, even if it’s really weird!”

Oh, and let me add: God the Father has some really good insights about how to be an excellent parent. I encourage you to learn from his wisdom on that topic!

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Devotionals, Letters

God Teaches a Teetotaler About Beer.

I grew up in a “dry” household. My family never drank alcohol. We didn’t vilify it, we just didn’t consider it, though occasionally at big family dinners at Grandma’s, my parents and other adults would drink something red out of goblet. They made funny faces when they drank it, so I wasn’t real eager to try it.

I grew up and learned religion. So of course, my home was a dry household. And then I worked for a pastor who never taught that alcohol was evil, but he surely acted as if it were, and expected his staff to as well. It started me thinking.

Eventually, we had children in our alcohol free home, and it was good, of course. Until God intervened.

On one of my regular retreats, on a solo camping trip, God woke me up in the middle of the night and warned me that I was failing my children. OK. he had my attention.

I crawled out of the back of the pickup where I was sleeping so I wouldn’t fall asleep in the middle of our conversation. Sure enough, the little voice, the impression in the back of my head continued:

“In a few years, your children will be entering junior high school. They won’t be out of your influence, but there will be many other influences there. Some of them, and you know what this is like, will invite them to discover beer, to discover drunkenness.”

And then he dropped the big one. “And you’ve done nothing to prepare them for that temptation.”

My heart sank. I knew he was right. But he didn’t let me sink there. After a moment or two, my mind began to fill up with perspectives and ideas and insights.

One of them caught me seriously off guard. He reminded me that I loved barbecue, but I was frustrated: a great steak was NOT complimented by a glass of milk, or by a CocaCola.

And then he tied them all together: “I want you to discover beers, good beers. I want you to find out what you like, and what you don’t. And I want you to invite your family to join you in that discovery.”

Oh my. Seriously?

But then I had visions (pictures) of what could happen. I saw better barbecues which led to better fellowship. I saw my children - my family - separating themselves from the religious spirit that accompanies alcohol-free homes. And then I saw my son, in junior high school, being approached to step behind a barn and share a Budweiser with him, and my son responded with, “Beer? That’s not beer. Let me tell you about beer!”

Oh my. I remind you that this is in the middle of the night, in the middle of the woods. I remind you that while I had tasted beer before (and not liked it), I had never had a glass of beer. I remind you that I was really comfortable in my no-alcohol religion.

And here’s God, telling me not just to drink beer, but to become educated about beer. And God was telling me to (gasp!) give beer to my school-age children, and to (gasp!) listen to their opinions about the stuff!

That was fifteen or twenty years ago, and it has been a glorious success (as if it’s surprising that God’s plans work!). I became a far better father than I had been before! And the beer? I had no idea of the variety. I still don’t love all kinds, but there are some that are pretty good, and there are some that make a good barbecued steak into a great barbecued steak. Who knew!

Oh, and that vision about my son telling his tempter, “Beer? That's not beer!” Yeah, that happened, though it looked different than the way I imagined it. And now he brings both life and excellence into a world I'd never reach, to people for whom alcohol is pretty important.

I’m not trying to say, “You need to drink beer!” Oh heck no! Don’t do that (unless God speaks to you the way he spoke to me). My obedience included learning about beer, but others' obedience involves not drinking beer.

I’m trying to say, “It’s a really good idea to do what God says, even if it’s really weird!”

Oh, and let me add: God the Father has some really good insights about how to be an excellent parent. I encourage you to learn from his wisdom on that topic!

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Columns, Devotionals

The Spirit of Gluttony

I don't think I've ever heard anyone talk about the spirit of gluttony in church in all the years I've gone.  I started to write this a couple of days ago but paused, making sure I was in God's timing. Then I read something yesterday that confirmed to me that I was hearing Him.

1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "Whether, therefore, you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."  We are to eat and drink to the glory of God.  How many of us have ever given thought to this verse?  But there's even more to it than that.



When I was about 35 years old, the Lord spoke to me one day and told me, "You have a spirit of gluttony."  I'm about 5'4" and at the time weighed about 110-115 lbs.  So I was surprised, to say the least. I expressed my confusion to the Lord and He began to explain.

The spirit of gluttony is when we find comfort for our flesh in things besides God. Our 'flesh' is the 'old man.' It's our sin nature. The spirit of gluttony is shopping when you're depressed. It's getting a new color and cut when you're feeling down. It's eating comfort foods when you don't want to deal with your emotions.

We might associate the spirit of gluttony with being over-weight, and rightly so, but this demon can manifest in other ways. It can drive a person to work out and be obsessed with their beautiful physique, because in some, it can partner with 'vanity.'

In our culture, the spirit of gluttony is celebrated. All of the celebrities that we see in the media comfort themselves and feed their flesh with every indulgence. We are told constantly to 'treat ourselves' with new makeup, new clothes and shoes and handbags. If our self-worth is low and we don't like the way we look, we can get a little botox or a whole lot of plastic surgery.

We are told constantly that we can make ourselves feel better by these things and that we don't need God. Some have gone to the other extreme and seek to make themselves feel better by starving themselves. But all have the same need - God. All are seeking 'a fix' to solve an inner lack.

One day when we were doing our 40 day Word fast, I was really struggling with exactly this. It was a blizzard outside and so I was staying home.  I was bored, not enjoying winter, and wasn't feeling motivated to work on a project. I wanted nothing more than to lie on the couch, under a warm blanket, fireplace burning, and watch movies all afternoon. Or read a book. I wanted to veg. I wanted an escape from my reality. I wanted to be entertained.

And because of my commitment to this fast, I couldn't. And it made me realize something.

What would Jesus do?

Jesus lived His life serving others. I can't imagine Him spending His afternoon on the couch, can you? Or at the movies. Someone always needed Him and although He used wisdom and followed God's leading completely, He never 'indulged' Himself. His only 'free time' was spent in prayer and fellowship with the Father. Jesus did not have a spirit of gluttony.

One of my sins that I've confessed to God and am asking Him to empower me to overcome is deciding my own schedule. Because I am not employed and our children are grown, I can do whatever I want. I can go out to lunch, go shopping, hang out at home all day, hang out with my daughter and grandchildren...whatever I 'feel' like doing.

But is that what God wants me to?

I continue to work on disciplining myself to have a schedule and to accomplish the things that I know God has set before me. I continue to discipline myself to eat more healthy and to prepare better meals for my family. And I'm continuing to discipline myself to listen to God and to do what He's telling me to do each day...to truly give Him my life, my time, and my goals.

I think the spirit of gluttony is very hard to starve out. And that's what we have to do. By not feeding this spirit, and for some that's literal, we dethrone it in our lives.

And as with everything else, we can't do this without our Saviour's help.

love and blessings~


photo credit: themost10.com




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