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Calm Respect

Stay respectful and stay calm—always!

When people are wrong, help them see the most helpful things to help them on their way. Stick to what's useful. When someone says something that isn't useful, saying so isn't useful. Don't fully change the topic, just shift it over a little to some useful idea. Focus on whatever goodness you want more of, not the bad you want to eradicate.

Conflict and disagreement make fragile circumstances. Handle with care. Don't toss eggs on the table. Don't gently roll them away either. Where an egg rolls to it can roll from, then smash.

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Tap Your Energy

It's one's energy source itself that makes the difference in the end. From the environment to relationships, we rely on some form or energy—and all energy needs a source. It could be petroleum to drive an automobile. It could be a battery to drive something faster and simpler, but whether a battery is cleaner than gasoline depends on where the battery gets its energy.

Or, your energy could be your own source of personal power. Do you pollute those around you on account of your social energy? At the end of the day, it goes back to the source.

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Hate an Answer?

Everyone, sooner or later, tries to solve problems with hatred—everyone.

We usually don't think about it when we do. Hatred is a kind of auto-pilot, a pattern we default to when it's too hard to change, like a bad habit we explain away as not being a bad habit. Once we know we are in the act of acting in hatred, it's not hatred anymore. Funny thing, hatred only operates when we don't know it or refuse to admit it.

Hate is no answer though, as much as our habits would have us think. Be rational and don't hate.

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Drop Petty Controls

Don't fall for it! Everyone has moments when we find dirt on someone or we catch an enemy at a weak moment. David could have killed Saul twice, which would have saved the kingdom from a megalomaniac who wanted to kill David. Then again, what then?

If David had killed Saul when chances came, many respected voices in the kingdom would have called it an "assassination", possibly spiraling into civil war.

These small control chances we stumble across are opportunities to demonstrate our maturity; using them to dominate is just weak and petty. Don't, and don't fear those who try.

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Self Sickness

You can't go through life feeling sorry for yourself, then expecting things to turn out well. You can't feel sorry for yourself and expect that you won't get sick or that you won't somehow manage to create your own bad luck.

Self pity is an emotional storm cloud. It brings you down, maybe your immune system with it.

It can be hard—not nursing your wounds because others with greater wounds need greater attention, maybe even your attention. But, when you've put others' needs and troubles before your own, something rises up in you from the inside making you stronger.

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Ignore

Being in the presence of toxic people is intoxicating. They make you crazy! Constant disrespect, verbal vomit, aggravation at every turn—you don't want others to think of those things when they think of you. Make sure you don't slip down that slow slope.

Sometimes we have to put up with others. You could draw a line in the sand, like God did with coastlines, saying, "Here and no farther." But, making lemonade always earns kudos.

Survive toxic people by being in touch with higher power. Think on the God who drew coastlines, then you can ignore the beating waves.

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Cut Anchor and Sail On

When you're stuck in life, you're probably stuck on something. Maybe you're hanging onto it or maybe you're letting it hang onto you. We don't like to let go of the anchors we drag, but we have to if we don't want to drag anchor.

One anchor is "offense"—someone does something no one should be allowed to do! Just remember that you don't need to be offended by an offense for the rest of your life. If you drag someone else's offense with you, you'll sail it to others. Sell anchors in port. Anchor shipping makes an unprofitable business.

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Level Up

When you're down and out, looking up at a mountain in your way, sometimes the only way up is to level up.

Up the ante, raise prices, increase the fees to play in your game, put yourself up on the next level in quality and cost. You've got to be worth it. You can't overcharge for bad apples and not make someone want to upset your apple cart. But, as long as you aren't selling complete junk—and as long as you are indeed in demand—the only way forward might be up.

That's hard to hear if you're broke.

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Questions for What They Are

Some opinions can only be understood in the context of a broader worldview. Maybe the reason someone wants gun restriction laws isn't so much about guns in particular, but because the person thinks like a Democrat in general. Same with someone wanting to restrict abortion thinking like Republican. When that happens, we'll get a lot more done—and keep a lot more friendships alive—by discussing party politics at large and the underlying opinions that persuade people one way or the other.

So, we really need a face-to-face to get much done. Underlying questions can't be discussed through the mail.

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Gift of the Present

The purpose of the present never presents itself in the present. What we do now—what we go through, what we experience, what we witness, what avenues we pave—always achieves some purpose that we can't see in the here and now. So, never judge the present according to the present. If you do, you will always be confused and frustrated.

One of the best ways through the quagmire of the present is to look for what you learn—how you grow as a person. Learning things, witnessing the unthinkable, gaining skills, going places—these prepare us. That's worthwhile enough.

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Time as it Seems

Things don't take as short a time as they might seem. We plan, project, expect, then the calendar disappoints. You might look at a project that should take a week, then it takes seven.

The scary part is how much that scares us. When we are five months behind a project, it seems the sky is falling. But, is it? When your house takes longer than expected to build, do the seasons stop?

Don't get worked-up about how much longer projects take. Some projects take less time than expected. It doesn't always even out, but life isn't surprised; we are.

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Two-Way Interviews

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nb-dkmpdAbc

Careful who you judge. It might be you who is actually on trial. One sure way to learn about others is to let others think they stand above you, then see how they respond. The person you disagree with just might be doing just that—letting you think you're in charge and watching your reaction.

That might not be the case. You might actually be the decision-maker you think you are, until you're not. Even if you hold the power seat today, tomorrow the tables could turn, then your entire history coughs up testimony about who you were all along.

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Say Yes

Yes. It's just that simple. Life can seem confusing when we fear this word. Maybe you don't know your path in your career, business, education, or in relationships. That's not to say we should say yes to every stupid request ever made of us. But, when someone asks something that is safe and within our power—no matter how uncomfortable—no matter how unworthy we feel—say yes.

Saying yes is an act of friendship. When you need something and someone can help, the one who helps likely becomes a good friend. Be that new friend. Be a living yes.

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Priorities Guide Change

If insanity is repeated, failed methods, priorities are the cure or the cause. Everything has a motive of some sort, curiosity or boredom if nothing else. We do things for reasons. We do things over and over for reasons. When we fail from the same method over and over, it is for a reason—a dark motive—some priority we aren't honest about, with others or even ourselves.

What are your priorities? Do you know? One good look at the path behind shows it all. Once we start to lose something else important, we start to reevaluate what we want.

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