Tag Archives: shows

Faux Report

‘Roseanne’ Latest Show To Get Reboot On Netflix, Show To Be ‘Just As Trashy’ As Ever

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LOS ANGELES, California – 

Despite horrendous reviews, Fuller House has been a monster hit this week for Netflix. So much so that the streaming service has announced that they have made a deal with everyone’s favorite trashy comedian, Roseanne Barr, to re-launch her extremely successful sitcom.

“We are extremely happy that Roseanne will be returning to television, and the best thing is, it will be on our service, so it can be even raunchier and trashier than it was in the 80s and 90s,” said Netflix CEO Bill Hastings. “Roseanne is equally excited to bring back most of the cast of the original show, and catch everyone up on where the Connors have been these years.”

The show will take place in the present day, with Roseanne having her two daughters move back into the house where they all grew up, now complete with families of their own.

“It’s great, because the more people in the house, the trashier it will be,” said Roseanne. “We left the series on a really high note, but with a really heavy, down theme. At the time, it’s what I wanted. Now, though, I want to bring the light back. There’s some stuff I would have done differently, but in the end, this show will be so fucking great.”

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Faux Report

Teens Make Pregnancy Pact Hoping To Get On MTV Series ’16 & Pregnant’

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ATLANTA, Georgia – 

The parents of Marley Simpson, age 16, and Brittany Lott, age 15, have been granted permission by a local court to keep their children under house arrest after the parents found out the girls have made a pact to get pregnant.

Marley’s mother, Kaitlin Simpson, says they wanted to get pregnant at the same time so they could be on MTV’s show 16 and Pregnant. “Marley says I shouldn’t have been snooping and reading her diary, but I am damn glad I did so I could put a stop to this nonsense. I told the girls that 15 minutes of fame is no reason to throw their lives away and bring a child into this world. Of course, you know I would be the one taking care of it anyway.”

Courts have approved the petition of the Simpsons and Lotts to keep their daughters under house arrest, even providing ankle bands so police will be alerted if the teens try to leave the house.

Brittany’s father, Jim, says he has also installed cameras around the house so he can monitor his daughter remotely. “Brittany’s a sneaky girl. I knew keeping her home wasn’t enough. I had signs made with pictures of me and my rifle and I posted them all over the lawn. I imagine that will keep those boy and their little peckers away, but if it don’t, I’ll be watching from inside.”

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