Faux Report

Man Finds Dead Baby In Walmart Discount DVD Bin

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LOUISVILLE, Kentucky – 

According to police statements, 27-year-old Mark Jacobs was sorting through a Wal-Mart discount DVD bin when he discovered a rotting corpse of a newborn buried in the middle of the bin. Witnesses rushed over to Jacobs after hearing him scream and call for help.

“I saw a small foot as I dug to the bottom of the DVD pile,” said Jacobs. “Initially, I assumed that someone had placed a Halloween prop within the pile as a gag. It wasn’t until I grabbed the foot and the leg separated from the body that I realized the $5 DVDs were hiding a violent, vicious secret.”

 Local police and paramedics confirmed that the child had been dead for approximately four days, and was estimated to be around three months old. Upon reviewing security footage, police found that the child was placed in the DVD bin by a young woman earlier in the week. The security footage provided by Wal-Mart Loss Prevention Department has yet to be released to the public, however, investigating officers believe the newborn’s mother to be Maria Lambert, a 31-year-old recently divorced employee of the company. They are currently unsure of her whereabouts.
Jacobs told reporters that Walmart offered him a gift card to make up for his troubling experience. However, he said he was going to “hold out for more money,” because then he could get more discount movies.
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