Tag Archives: deadpool

Faux Report

Marvel Announces R-Rated ‘Howard The Duck’ Film Coming in 2017

howard

HOLLYWOOD, California – 

The original Howard the Duck film, starring Lea Thompson and Ed Gale, is widely divided between moviegoers as being either an “awesome cult classic,” or one of the worst films of all time, but either way, Marvel has announced that they plan to bring back their anthropomorphic duck in an all-new movie, set for release in the summer of 2017.

“We teased Howard a little at the end of Guardians, but we really wanted to bring him back for his own movie, and this time, make it not a giant piece of shit,” said Marvel CEO Mark Wymms. “He will not be CGI as he was in Guardians. That was just a tease, or a little taste. Actually, we’ve already begun shooting the movie, and we think fans will be super happy to know that we’re going hard R-rating.”

Deadpool, the latest Marvel movie to hit theatres, was R-rated, and grossed over $700 million worldwide, making it the third-highest grossing R-rated film of all time. Marvel hopes to strike again with Duck, which is based on their comic series about a duck named Howard who is brought to Earth during a science experiment gone awry.

The new film will feature Warwick Davis (Willow) as Howard, and is set to be directed by Lars Von Trier.

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Faux Report

‘Howard The Duck’ Movie Coming In 2017; Will Be R-Rated, ‘Won’t Suck This Time’ Says Marvel

howard

LOS ANGELES, California – 

Howard The Duck is a cult movie unlike most others, in the fact that almost everyone loathes it. The film, released in 1986, holds an ungodly low score of only 14% on RottenTomatoes, and most people consider it one of the worst movies of all time.

Despite that, though, Marvel has decided to green-light a remake of the film, which will introduce the anthropomorphic duck to a new audience, with hopes that the new film won’t “suck” as much as the original.

“Personally, I love the original, and I think it’s tons of fun. It’s not as good as the source material, but few things are,” said Bob Thomas, a movie reviewer for website TheFilmTalk. “Ed Gale, who played Howard, was tons of fun, and the movie is a laugh-riot. I don’t care what anyone says, the original does not suck.”

“The original is a giant pile of shit, but that won’t be the case with the remake,” said Marvel CEO Joel Miller. “We teased a bit after the credits of Guardians, but that was just a test, really. The character won’t be CGI, and there are some other changes. We’ll definitely have the crude, dirty parts of the comic, too. We are shooting for an R-rating, definitely.”

The movie has been in production since late 2015, but Marvel is just announcing the release this week. They say the script was written by Deadpool scribe Paul Wernick, and is being directed by Kevin Smith. Warwick Davis (Leprechaun, Willow) will be playing the title character.

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Faux Report

Ryan Reynolds Says He Won’t Return For Deadpool Sequel

Ryan Reynolds Hit By Car While Filming 'Deadpool,' Destroys Car With Bare Hands

LOS ANGELES, California –

Ryan Reynolds was born to play Deadpool, in the way the Robert Downey Jr. perfectly encompasses the role of Tony Stark in Iron Man. With the new Deadpool movie bringing in a record-breaking quarter of a billion dollars in its worldwide opening weekend, Fox was keen on quickly green-lighting a sequel, but sadly, there is one person who won’t be returning.

Ryan Reynolds says that he will not be singing on for a second Deadpool film, after realizing that the part was going to put way too much pressure on his everyday life.

“I’ve been an actor for years, and I’ve always had a good time with it,” said Reynolds. “Problem is, not that I’ve played a character in a movie people have actually seen, I haven’t had a moment to rest, and it’s frustrating.”

Reynolds had been personally trying to get a Deadpool film made for years, and it took over a decade for Fox to agree to not only make the film, but make it geared towards adults, letting it receive the MPAA’s R-rating. Reynolds says that he’s glad the movie is doing so well, but he can’t be part of another one.

“Someone else can easily take over, because most of the film I’m in a suit, and when I’m not, my face is covered in burn makeup,” said Reynolds. “I really want to go back to just being an actor that people sort of recognize, but pass by on the street without having to stop and take a selfie with.”

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Faux Report

Marvel’s New ‘Deadpool’ Movie Given PG-13 Rating

deadpool

LOS ANGELES, California – 

Although trailers and comments from the cast and crew would lead many to believe that the new Marvel film Deadpool, which is set to hit theatres in February, would be getting an R-rating, it seems that the MPAA had other plans.

After watching the film, the group – who are responsible for the film ratings of every movie released – gave the movie a mild PG-13 rating.

“We are really, really shocked that we got a PG-13,” said the film’s star, Ryan Reynolds. “We were going for a hard R-rating. There is blood, guts, nudity, sexual content, and about a thousand uses of the word ‘fuck.’ It’s mind boggling.”

According the the MPAA, they didn’t find that the film fit with their R-rated policy, which as anyone who has ever seen a movie can tell you, is not exactly set-in-stone.

“Normally, you can’t really get by with more than maybe one F-bomb in a film without getting the R-rating,” said MPAA spokesman Gerry Lyons. “In this case, though, we felt the film really didn’t encompass anything that would get it the harder, more ‘adult’ rating. Plus, it’s a comic book movie, so how harsh could it really be, right?”

 

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