Tag Archives: Carolina Panthers

Faux Report

NFL’s Carolina Panthers Officially Changes Their Name to Carolina Black Panthers

CHARLOTTE, North Carolina – 

The NFL has officially signed off on a name change request from the Carolina Panthers franchise, allowing the team to move forward with becoming the Carolina Black Panthers. The name request was submitted during the off-season, with NFL officials deliberating on the option.

“We decided to let them go ahead and change the name, as well as the logo,” said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. “We understand their reasoning – after all, the team is made up of predominantly African-American players – and we cannot see any reason why this name change would cause any issues.

The new Black Panthers say that they will finish the season with their current attired and logos, and plan for a switch during the 2019 season.

“We are very happy with the decision to allow this,” said team owner Mario Lewis. “I mean, I’m not a black guy, but I think it’s a very powerful statement. I know tons of black people, some of my best friends are black. So this is my way of supporting them, and supporting this team. We really hope that this will bring the fans together, and show them that singular differences are always the most important.”

Standard
Faux Report

Super Bowl 50 Garners Lowest TV Ratings In Event History

Nov 11, 2012; Charlotte, NC, USA; Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton (1) is hit as he throws a pass by Denver Broncos defensive end Derek Wolfe (95) and defensive end Robert Ayers (91) in the third quarter at Bank of America Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports

PHOENIX, Arizona –

Super Bowl 50 took place on Sunday evening, and chances are, you didn’t watch it. In the 50 years of the event’s history, and in the 38 that it has been broadcast on television, Sunday’s Super Bowl event garnered the lowest ratings ever. at only 2 million viewers. Normally the event would be seen by nearly 45 million people across the country.

“Basically, we think the two teams that played just weren’t cared about enough for people to watch,” said NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. “If the Patriots had been in the game, then people would have watched, if at least just to see them cheat and try and get away with it.”

Normally the show is a ratings powerhouse, if not for the sporting event itself, than for the commercials and halftime show.

“That, too, is dying out, because frankly, these companies release their commercials onto YouTube before the game actually happens, so people have already seen most of them,” said Joe Goldsmith, public relations manager for the NFL. “I have no idea why, since they spend 5 million-plus just to air them during the game. And don’t get me started on the halftime show. I mean, you watch men slamming into each other, rough-and-tumble, hell of a game, and then boom, halftime and we’re watching…Coldplay? I mean, who the hell books these things?”

Goodell says next year he will work hard to make sure teams people care about make it to the Super Bowl.

“Even if I have to come up with new rules or something, whatever I have to do to get real, worthwhile teams and players into the Super Bowl, I’ll do it,” said Goodell.

Standard