One of the secret sources of power is “not wasting”. We waste our energy in many ways, and one of them is talking too much. You know those people who rarely say a word and rarely enjoy jabber mouths? There is a reason they think that way.

When we share our feelings, it releases an inner energy. Call it “chi”; call it “willpower”. Sharing our feelings un-dams the river clogged up inside. But, do you want to release all that potential power? Keeping our thoughts to ourselves isn’t always a refusal to accept love. Sometimes, it’s just about turning turbines.  · · · →

How long does time take to heal? Some problems can’t be solved overnight, they just take time. But, it doesn’t always need to take as long as we might think.

Israel razed Jericho in seven days, but it took forty years to get there. Those forty years in the desert weren’t necessary; they were completely optional. Israel could have entered Canaan and started kicking butt right away. Instead, they made a choice and that choice added time.

The actual work might only take a week. What takes up most of our time is us waiting to make up our minds.  · · · →

One of the keys to moving forward is to get yourself sorted. The world won’t want you as long as you’re a basket case. If your wheels won’t go where the steering wheel steers them, you’ll probably crash before you get too far anyway. It’s not the road that’s so crooked; it’s you.

So, why don’t we sort ourselves? Do we not have enough time? Are we so busy using broken equipment to fix a mess made by broken equipment that we can’t fix the broken equipment? It’s faster to take a deep breath, read, reflect, counsel, and sort yourself.  · · · →

One trait sets achievers, influencers, and trailblazers apart from the rest. They have a reckless focus on the road in front of them and an utter blindness to the past. They don’t get stuck on whatever sits behind them. They don’t even like to talk about the past. And, they don’t get dreamy about the future either. They simply focus on the next step.

Theory, ideas, and grudges—they ignore these to a fault. They could be better if they didn’t only look forward. But, looking forward makes up for weaknesses so much that it becomes the crutch of champions.  · · · →

Say it once, not over and over. Just go on record. If you’re wrong, say so; then change.

There isn’t much difference between the pathological apologizer and the pathological liar. The apologizer says sorry more often than a blinking yellow light blinks yellow. The liar won’t admit he was wrong, then tries to repair friendships with all smiles and no apologies.

Words and actions must go together. All words and no action doesn’t help anymore than all action and no words. We need both and we need them together in agreement. When wrong, say so once; then you’d better change.  · · · →

In the place where we talk about manners, tender words, patience, kindness, listening, and understanding—in the place where we ponder negotiation methods—in the place we preach about how we must conduct ourselves in order to gain trust—in the place where words matter, there is a reserved space which decides how much value the world of words holds.

Listening and understanding are special. They aren’t about style; they are actions. Listening isn’t something one can “say kindly”, nor is understanding. As with any action, our words only carry what clout is bestowed by what has already been done.  · · · →

When you face trouble, share your plans. Often times, we’d think to hide our plans from the opposition. But, if you’re trained and awesome enough, your plans don’t need to be kept secret.  For this reason, evidence must be shared with the opposing legal team before being presented in court. If you have a strong case, you might win before the trial, merely by presenting the evidence you intend to share if so forced.

So, by all means, share your plans. When you have trouble, tell the responsible party exactly what you intend to do. Then, just stay on point.  · · · →

The serenity prayer seeks to accept things we cannot change. But, a more powerful approach would be to be grateful for them. We can never know what will surely happen. Life always interrupts our plans and our work, smashing and rearranging what is in front of us. One way or another, life is pointing us to the next, better thing. Of course, every time life rearranges something, we feel violated and indignant.

That’s the thing about feeling violated and indignant—they are forms of ingratitude. When we get something better, we should be grateful that we did, not merely accepting.  · · · →

Frustration peaks when nerves are high. Freaking out won’t do any good. In a crisis, instincts search for a cause—something or someone to blame. But, even finding blame won’t find a way out of a crisis. Keep your head. Resist the urge to thirst for blood.

The real enemy doesn’t rear its ugly head until long after it matters, if ever. Whomever you think to blame, you probably don’t have the full story and would likely blame your allies anyway. No matter the folly, hate hinders. Take action. Be smart. And, never squander emotion and effort as you do.  · · · →

Real friends are hard to make. That’s different from a friend being hard to find. It’s one thing to actually find a friend, but making a friend is the hard part. Real friendship must be forged through fire and ice.

No one can shape a friendship on purpose. Life, circumstance, and the Divine Hand pour, mold, and pound every good friendship into whatever it becomes. It’s the friends who must endure the pounding, the heat, and the freezing brisk that harden our bonds into something that can never break. Friends are easily found; their making takes rewarding pain and dedication.  · · · →

We’re not judged by the evidence, whether for or against us. Nor, are we judged by the friends we have, but only the friends we make and keep. That is accomplished through calmness.

When trouble, opposition, accusation, slander, and assailants come our way, the ability to keep calm and carry on proves idyllic. We all endure storms, turbulence, and chop. Those people who prove to be stable islands of peace in the midst of it all are the people we want to acquit of fault—the people we want to be friends with—the very people we want to become.  · · · →

Some years, we mainly learn. Other years, we work. When times support our work, we work. When times direct our learning, we learn.

As troubled and hard as the learning years can be, the working years wouldn’t be a tenth as productive without them. The reason winter makes trees grow deep roots is the need to find water. Freeze all the water and trees grow deep. Then, they can grow taller and faster in the easy months. Just imagine all the new ways to live and love and thrive we find, all because of a few long months of hardship.  · · · →

Don’t live in shame alone. The sneaky thing about shame is that it requires privacy. The moment you share your shame, it vanishes and its grip along with it. But, that’s the catch.

Shame protects itself. Shame doesn’t want to be exposed. Shame won’t let itself be expunged. So, when you threaten the life of your own shame, your own shame will give you pain. How much do you want your shame gone?

Do you want it gone enough to make it go away? Do you want it gone enough to tell your friends? They love you, not your shame.  · · · →

We must have victory, though victory rarely arrives the way we think it will. Usually, we can achieve victory in fierce peace; occasionally victory requires war. Too often we jump to war, which is why we fail too often. More war is not the answer. But, if that’s what we want, we can keep the failure that follows unneeded war.

Many times we choose weakness—to lay down as floor mats, thinking self-abuse is peaceful. Nearly all struggles have a peaceful path to victory and few ever find it. Those few who do are more than peace-lovers; they are peacemakers.  · · · →